My Inner Voice.

neglecting my blog again

2009-08-23T11:14:00.002+08:00

hello peeps.

first up. reading an article from March Reader's Digest, I will try my best to say hi to 3 strangers daily. It seems like the particular journalist of that article has tried out saying hi to people for a month and gotten 11 benefits. so once again, HELLO!

if it sounds interesting, do give it a try, choose a number from 1 to 10 and say hi to that number of strangers starting today. of course not forgetting to say hi to those whom you have known and stop saying hi to and most importantly, yourself. Saying hi to yourself is much rewarding, as experienced by me this morning, thou tired and reluctant to wake up, i had a change of mood.

second, it's been close to one month that i have not been updating my blog and even my face book account seems dead. this is due to a bunch of closely related factors, like doing weekends duties(some volunteering and some as extra duties), attending the Army Half Marathon (which i didn't run due to a toe injury on the day just before the run), having BBQs while enjoying the companionship of some friends, one of which had left for the States to study. weekends pass by real fast and i don't really like to spend it sitting in front of the computer typing away. And when i do, I lack the resources to do so, since I'm in camp when i feel like doing so. so sorry for not being able or wanting to include little little details of what's been going on in my life.

thirdly, another overseas training is coming soon. flying away at the end of the month and returning just before a holiday. should be a trip with pleasant companionship but perhaps sub-standards of living coupled with enhance level of training.

gotta run to places, enjoy what' left of my precious book out.

running low on life enjoyment,
YuJun

re-learning and un-learning.

2009-07-23T14:37:00.002+08:00

been decomposing at home for the past 6 days.

today, finally going back to camp. seems like my body has recovered about 91% or so. hope that i'll be allowed to do IPPT tmrw although I'm not too sure of what i can achieve since i have not been training nor exercising for the past week.

during these 6 days, i've tried to rest as much solely at home with the occasional trips out to get food and some items. otherwise, the time was spent on in front of my laptop. I finished watching naruto shipuden til the latest episode on crunchyroll.com and even the lastest manga on onemanga.com . it was so boring and exciting at the same time as the anime series was very draggy but providing thrills and twists time to time. but then watching all of the episodes isn't really enjoyable nor something i'm proud of. that was what i could do apart from sleeping.

tried to watch TV and do reading of both intellectual material and the non-intellectual. the latter belongs to the realm of comics and the former, reader digest, my financial book and some of my past notes. reading seems to be wrong at home. How i wished i could bask inside Starbucks a whole afternoon reading. but then being socially responsible, i didn't. come to think of it, i regretted a bit not doing that but assured a whole lot more that i didn't went out to spread my viruses to the other coffee lovers.

i also reconnected with the television, something that i disconnected after hitting 2nd semester. ahah. now looking at television, the glam and attractiveness of it seems to diminished and i don't really enjoy that. so it's so easy to disconnect that away and fit back to camp life.

i guess that the rule that don't allow us to go out on MC period is to prevent us from interacting too much with the 'outside' world and relearning too much of the stuff you do and really enjoy. when you re learn too much, the unlearn will be too much to handle and hence you dread going back to camp. maybe that is a continuous process for us every time we step out of the gates. but going through the gates is definitely much better than jailed at home.

done most of the preparations to book in tonight. maybe affected by book in feelings, the last few hours seem really precious, although i have nothing much to do.. haha.

sticking to listening to music and reading comics.

back to camp soon,
YuJun

not good.

2009-07-19T12:08:00.002+08:00

today is the 3rd day of staying home to rest, even though the actual rest started only yesterday morning when i got home from camp. another 4 more days to go but i intend to request to return earlier.

a nasty combination of fever (highest temperature was 38.7 degree Celsius), flu, sore throat and cough. feeling bad since 1300hrs on Friday. waited and made do with with the ill feeling for hours by sleeping before i got medical attention. but then, it was for the greater benefit.

if you are concerned about my status, rest assured. I'm feeling much better as the fever has subsided and gotten enough rest to cause a backache and stiff joints.

get well soon to myself and back on track without the tired feelings.

recuperating,
YuJun

a disturbing feeling.

2009-06-25T20:41:00.002+08:00

using my camp's Internet access to blog this right now.

perhaps being affected by being prepared to do a static line jump today and the jump being cancelled, i am feeling much disturbed by a separate incident.

yesterday, i realised that my presence to stay connected to the group is not really invited. I am serving my nation right now, hence i in the status of not being able to perform. but i still tried to go back to practice and go watch the performances. hmmm, after seeing what they do, i will give my comments. i know the comments are repeating itself and people get bored listening to them. however, looking at another angle, I not so interested into the repetitive nature of the comments but to remind all my fellow friends their mistakes they did, hoping they change for the better. xjw did not seems as outstanding during riverfest as compared to artfest09', small Edwin became more conscious of his stage actions, now tell me, is it my comments useless or is it that some people just won't hear what i say and improve themselves?

according to hearsay, my then dear 'manager' of the group has been in disapproval of my actions of watching the practices and performances giving comments. if he think that this form of feedback is not effective, i shall grant his wish.

have i turned into a obedient genie and fulfilling wishes of others? no, cause it is so much tougher to pay attention to the group than to just ignore. although i have a boring life, but book out time is precious still. ok i'll find other avenues to spend my time, far far away from my usual routine which, i can very much say, religiously followed for the past, hmmm, 2 years? even for the most boring and tedious practices, i still turned up. things change after you get enlisted. i am starting to think that my usage value is diminished and hence pushed off the stage. may that be for good.

agitated as well as upset,
YuJun

it's been a long time people.

2009-06-14T00:49:00.002+08:00

hello people.

it's been a long time since i clisk on my keyboard on this 3-year old laptop blogging. so, here i'm in case you missed my presense in the information technology world.

reason for the lag in updating? hmmm, easy, above i mentioned that i am typing on a 3-year old laptop. and this beloved laptop has been through much with me, introducing me to the feeling of owning a computer for the first time, been through all the virus fighting after a year or maybe more of usage (the war still rages on time to time), letting cope with university life and finishing my projects and a whole lot of other stuff.

but it has been giving me trouble. need to move on i guess. so until then, i won't be blogging so often.

as they always say, "sorry for the uncovenience caused", sorry to myself i suppose.

sense of empty-ness

2009-04-10T22:02:00.004+08:00

hi there.

looking at my tag board, the one who tagged as Surjono injected a slightly surprised and yet at the same time a old school touch on my heart. yes, I'm cheesy, on my heart.

Well. it's the kind of secondary school feeling when afternoons are spent lazy or with CCA friends. A 70th year anniversary mega dinner!! sounds like a high school reunion to me from many angles!!

Quite excited about it and hope all the CCHY'06 people will response to the reunion.. hope all the NSF can turn up too. Our time is precious!! since the bulk of it has been taken away by staying in the camps.

Have not update for quite some time already, well, as much as my excuse sound like a reason, I've been drained by the training in camps or out in the fields. whenever i get home on sat, there's the laundry to do. by the time i finish washing the clothes, it'll be a few hours before or just before dinner. Then I'll go out with some friends or find something to do.

last sat, was Min Fang's birthday celebrations! Didn't prepare much for the celebrations so I made an effort to make sure that we have fun that evening. and we did! with Hwan, Yu Hui, Min Fang, Johnson, Martin , [sorry to miss you out] SING CHUN and myself, we went from dinner at Mathattan's Fish Market to walking around Clark Quay and settling down at a Pub called ChinaOne. Had a drink or two and played with the pub's Wii set, which is quite fun until the crowd rushed in and destroyed our strings of laughter. What was really interesting for me and awkward for yu hui, was that we bumped into Jake. So the NSF had a catch up session and compared our army careers. Left on the train shortly so that Min Fang won't be too late to reach home. I was tired too.

then waking up to some light exercise on Sundays (which i have been lazy and ill-disciplined to maintain) I would spend most of my time at home, blogging, like now, or head out to the nearest cinema to catch a lonesome movie. watching movies alone is a enjoyable experience, especially movies that makes you think about issues. It's not that comedy are not nice but then I prefer substance. Substance like Watchmen. Oh yea, Legend of Chun Li sucked!

the whole movie was least stimulating, not at all paying attribute to the original video game which was tough, filled with violence and chun li had her hair tied in the shape of two buns and her ultimate move was to do a inverted split while knocking out people. I pity Kristen whose big screen opportunities might be shadowed by this movie. The director was sadly untalented in making a movie that should have been what it was titled. the biggest disappointment i had with the movie is that chun li in my memory worn a blue cheongsam with two buns of hair and some metal accessories that made her icon of tough femininity. Oh no, the directors had to make her 'school girl' whose only close resemblance to the Chun Li in my memory who clad herself in blue and two hair bun only when trying to seduce a lesbian minion of the big evil of the show. Second to the disappointment list consist of the pathetic voice overs which was to ensure that the audience understand what is the point that was to be conveyed. "If you can't use the magic of movie to do it, just use a voice-over!"--director of the movie. I'm not sure if it's the scriptwriter's fault or the directors fault that the movie, in parts were either expected, or not cohesive, or just plain bad. wasted my precious $10 and 2 hours of my time.

then in the evening, I'll get some lonesome dinner again and head back to camp at least 1 hour early to do some admin stuff. enjoying the quietness of the bunk which cannot be found at other times of the week.

I'm tired again. but still need to do some academic work for a projects handled to us.

oh ya, yesterday i spent the eveing with Melissa, knew her in secondary school while we were attending tuition at MarkYourFuture. Fond memories of the people there. Anywhere, we walked from PS to heerens after I said i had a sudden craving for Waraku's Katsu Curry Don. hmm, so we walked and talked. After placing our orders, we wait for the food and drinks to come. ok, this is where my embarrassment comes in. I ordered my usual drink.then i wondered why the waitress asked me if I wanted a single or double and why my usual drink took so long. it was only when the drink arrived that I realised a very silly mistake. in my mind, i had the image of my usual drink, a glass of hot O-cha (Japanese green tea), so i thought I ordered that. What was dished to me was hot Sake (Japanese rice wine). Yes, I said "hot Sake" to the waitress while thinking of green tea. it was a costly mistake, $27.80++ more to pay. haiz. but the rest of the evening turned out (slight disturbance by this two last two words) well.

here's a little song that i find very satisfying when listening to right now, after spending a whole day alone.

叶子 - 阿桑

叶子是不会飞翔的翅膀翅膀
是落在天上的叶子天堂
原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遺忘
当初怎么开始飞翔

孤单是一个人的狂欢
狂欢是一群人的孤单
爱情原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遺忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴

我一个人吃饭旅行 (到处)走走停停也
一个人看书写信自己对话谈心
只是心又飄到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

and here's a piece of news about the singer.

　阿桑经纪人发公开信
　　称病重时仍在创作新歌
　　阿桑过世的消息让整个华语乐坛震惊，其经纪人汪一平昨日（７日）在网上发表公开信，回忆他以往和阿桑的记忆，称阿桑面对疾病十分坚强，病重时仍在创作，还在筹备出版第三张专辑。
　　昨日，经纪人汪一平表示，阿桑一直很勇敢，相信自己一定会好起来，化疗期间她还创作了《爱情美的样子》等两首新歌，没想到都已成为绝唱。“阿桑计划还要在她的新专辑里写更多的作品。每一次我在听这首歌的时候，都会流下眼泪。”
　　以一首《叶子》走红的台湾疗伤歌手阿桑近日因乳癌病逝，享年34岁。自两年前检查出有癌细胞后，阿桑便很少在公众面前露面。据媒体报道，2005年，阿桑曾带着她的第二张专辑《寂寞在唱歌》来到重庆做宣传，为人朴实、谦虚是她留给山城歌迷的印象。当年接触过阿桑的媒体记者和接待阿桑的工作人员现在回忆起这位歌手都是相同的一句话，“她人很好！”
实习编辑：小卉

2009-03-16T23:29:00.003+08:00

Your Working Style

You are extremely dependable and have a complete, realistic, and practical respect for the facts. You absorb, remember, and use any number of facts and are careful about your accuracy. When you see that something needs to be done, you accept the responsibility, often beyond the call of duty. You like everything clearly stated.

Your private reactions, which seldom show in your face, are often vivid and intense. Even when dealing with a crisis you look calm and composed. Behind your outer calm you are viewing the situation from an intensely individual angle. When you are "on duty" and dealing with the world, however, your behavior is sound and sensible.

You are thorough, painstaking, systematic, hard-working, and careful with particulars and procedures. Your perseverance tends to stabilize everything with which you are connected. You do not enter into things impulsively, but once committed, you are very hard to distract or discourage.

You often choose careers where your talents for organization and accuracy are rewarded. Examples are accounting, civil engineering, law, production, construction, health careers, and office work. You often move into supervisory and management roles.

If you are in charge of something, your practical judgment and valuing of procedure makes you consistent and conservative, assembling the necessary facts to support your evaluations and decisions. You look for Solutions to present problems in your successes of the past. With time you become masters of even the smallest elements of your work, but don't give yourself any special credit for this knowledge.

You may encounter problems if you expect everyone to be as logical and analytical as you are. You then run the danger of inappropriately passing judgment on others or overriding less forceful people. A useful rule is to use your thinking to make your perceptions about inanimate objects or your own behavior, and to use your perception to understand others. If you use your senses to see what really matters to others, so that it becomes a fact to be respected, you may go to generous lengths to help.

Another problem may arise if your thinking remains undeveloped. You may retreat, becoming absorbed with your inner reactions to sense-impressions, with nothing of value being produced. You may also tend to be somewhat suspicious of imagination and intuition, and not take it seriously enough.

Something i got online, from a link from Lionel. this is the link.. I think it speaks quite well for me, hence, posting it up, do go try it out!!

YuJun

Let what comes in my way comes.

2009-03-07T21:42:00.003+08:00

hi there people.

Time seems to be passing really fast and now it's time for me to do a long long road march, and end my life (read: finish the course, not commit sucide) as a recruit in my term of national service.

Coming to the end of the second course (after the Physical Training Package), BMT (basic military training) has been a less favourable yet more satisfying experience. There were more people around, more egos to feed and destroy, more attitudes, more differing socialised people to work with and last but not least, more activities done.

Some of our fellow recruits have to leave us, some have to recourse. Others, have been enrolled into one of the vocations available, some will attain medical skills, some learning how to control weapons of destruction (or should I say oppression), and some other skills, some other knowledge.

My vocation was announced today, Leaders.

Back then in PTP, I was really expecting and worked hard to be selected into one. Most of my PTP buddies knew about it and was very supportive about it. That feeling was great, and til today, it can be sensed that the same people still support my dream back then. Sincerely from me to you, PTP buddies, Thank you.

During the course of BMT, I interacted with more people. the 'class' of recruits blew up from 30 in each 'class' to the current strength of 59, with one chap being posted out already before it's over. bigger 'class', more bunks. more cliques and more politics. Yes, gaining popularity, impressing instructors, volunteering for 'special tasks', talking their way through and winning sympathy became so common if you just keep in tune to them. Suddenly, even everyone became so artificial and I, sadly, was influenced and turned myself plastic while doing the 'projects' assigned. It didn't feel good.

but i couldn't be myself. Given a task, I would become serious. Others who didn't understand me as well cannot tolerate the degree of seriousness while I fulfil my tasks. when I try to be true to myself, some showed dislike and complains in the grapevine so as I get news of their feelings.

'why so serious?' was the message they give me.

I can understand them but cannot bear to not see to eye their behaviour and attitude. Psychological theories suggest that I can change behaviour (yes I did) but I cannot change their attitudes. true. and I always wondered when will that lousy attitudes will bite them in their faces, whenever I have to raise my voice and yell at people.

after every time i shout at them, I felt moody. Why didn't i just hold my temper in a little and let them be? they are responsible for their own actions, not me! oh ya, i was the in charge for the task and if they get caught. there is a good chance that the whole platoon will get the punishment (another, but yet stronger form of behaviour conditioning).

Coming to this point, I feel my blood somewhat boiling again and at the same time, moody for all the times I shouted at my platoon mates. Need to exert more self control.

I always like to think, "A leader is only characterised not by his action but his men." So, should I swing my pendulum closer to doing tasks or closer to satisfying my men?

War cry, skit, being myself, making and maintaining friends, preventing backstabbing, watching out for the politics, thinking of how to console friends who either didn't do too well at A levels or couldn't stay with the commandos or worse, both and thinking about how to cope with the leaders responsibilities when I have the tendency to sound very harsh when doing tasks.

My seriousness might be a manifestation of my ego and I am creating a defensive mechanism to protect my ego while not being sure if it's that the case?

I'm very tired now. sorry for the bad English or the lack of flow in this post.

Mentally drained,
YuJun

2009-03-01T15:14:00.002+08:00

hi there!

Here blogging to you is a chap that might have gained 3kgs or more due to a very sumptuous buffet dinner yesternight.

Well, yesternight turned out well, it can be seem that no one was not satisfied with the food and the service was good. Majority of our little "class" were there and all the "teachers" turned up to (even we addressed and converted them into our friends) make the day even more interesting. Interesting in sense that how our "class" dress for the occasion, who used the opportunity last evening to wayang to the instructors and who they really are, without the pressure of the "school" setting.

What happened in our room was that we entered the room, to our slight dismay, breathing the smell of the room, eating, chit chatting, eating, laughing as some people gotten "raped" by the rapist of the "class", photos taking and loads more of cam whoring (by guys!!).

Anyway, although yesterday that was a happy occasion, and we were all supposed to enjoy the evening, it didn't work out in that manner for me. Hmm, I asked myself why was I feeling so moody and not getting into the party mood, trying to find come intrapersonal connection.

my list of perhaps came to form something like this:

Perhaps because,

I am Fat (as suggested mainly by Zack and some others) and eating a buffet is not really suitable for fat people?

Perhaps because,

I still have to worry about both the POP performances, one is not up to standards yet, the other is not created yet.

Perhaps because,

I am not a party person, and find comfort in these gathering somewhere near to a wall and just doing things to myself, for myself.

Perhaps because,

I am tired from lack of sleep and been doing things for the whole day starting from 7am til 11pm.

Perhaps because,
Perhaps because,Perhaps because,
Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because,
Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because,
Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because...

i CAN'T ENJOY THE COMPANY LAST NIGHT.

doing things in our little class of 60 people has made me a much dreaded character. Some people identify faults with what I do, others find faults. Some communicate with me about how they feel, others does it behind my back, allowing them to add some spices and elements of truth into it. Some like my ideas, helps and develop my ideas, while others take my ideas and turn it into their own.

All of these did not bothered me until I realised that I have been trying to do my part of the work seriously with much efforts, sometimes having to face the pressures from the top management and the bottom followers, but all of my credits will be shared with my middle management, when they were the most uncooperative crew.

Pressures keep stacking on me to do things around the organisation. But, I firmly believe and entrust myself to not allow these stressing factors and people to meet my threshold and causing myself to burnout. Nope, I will not land on the other side of the stress curve.

YuJun.

things are changing (Part2)

2009-02-22T15:27:00.004+08:00

after sleeping at 4am and waking up at 1pm, I packed my bag for tonight and finally forced myself to take a seat here to continue to voice out my opinions about Change. The reason why i used the word 'forced' is because i need to go out to do some shopping, to replenish some basic items, but! but it's raining cats and dogs out there. Even the interface of Gmail got affected by the rain and my mails are supposedly wet and the tree i planted beside the mails is tortured by the wind. I don't suppose that many will get what i mean but good work Gmail, the idea is good.

now coming back to my observation to change,

NOTE: pls take some time to read the previous entry if you have not. Else you might get lost while continue reading. Or you will diminish the 4 hour long of blogging efforts I put in to come up with the previous entry, even if I multi-tasked with reading and sending mails and even checking out my facebook account during the 4 hour. yes, just scroll down to read it and scroll up later if you have done so.

Planning to use 10minutes or so to compose the rest of this entry. Not lazy but just that I'm faced with the scarcity of time.

Went to Drum practice yesterday slightly after lunchtime without the lunch. Greeted more prominently by the white mirror walls and black flooring for dance, I was actually hoping I could have saw more of the drummers inside the studio. Basically, poly exams period are here and friends can afford to go for concerts and play computer games, but not turn up for drum practice. Yes, it's the issue of priority again but then i guess i can attribute to the reasoning that Drum for my fellow drumming mates have changed too. It's heartwarming to know that Tony actually misses Ann and myself after we gotten our heads shaved and entered into a total institute, even though i still question how much in relative I'm being missed. NS or not, people will change to the changing environment, but i guess, this group has too much politics that a slight change that caused people to face unfamiliarity has escalated to cause the butterfly effect upon the smallest misunderstandings.

Is this what I, or even what we will like to see?

We all know that personal bias is always present but at the different situations that the degree of accepting the bias is different. In our group, each person is attributed with a differing degree of trust by the so-called supremacy. Then again we know roughly that who gets a higher degree and who gets less but at times we feel disadvantage when we try to do things that we would like to do in order to improve the group. Let's all use all our frustrations to turn the tables (literally) and hope to create a mess of things within our white walls and black floors. What good will that do? Communication patterns in our group has been historically and forcefully made in such a way that sitting down to talk or mass sending of mails does not yield much results. Tell me what other lexis (mode of delivery) can we engage in? the grapevine or symbols? All of us need to talk, talk like we have never talk before! Many attempts have been made for this kind of talks, we know it and experienced it. not surprisingly, the yield is much known too. At this point, I am picturing an image of everyone one day getting so vented up (while still continuing to engage in the conversation) that we get on our individual feet to pull some punches or open our mouths to spew some form of low-level of verbal abuse. Well, at least the energy will be there.

Up to this point, I would like to highlight that there is no absolute solution to what we have gotten ourselves into but more than nothing I would like to see change, improvements.

Having heard from the different point of views, no matter how pure or distorted the messaged i received, I see a common goal but not the same means of achieving it. We want a higher artistic value in our form of Art, but each parties insisting on using their methods to do it and with a different purpose behind the common goal. Suggesting that the parties open up and share their methods openly is nearly impossible to achieve because we are not even sure on how and what we are going to do in order to get to what we want. We might or might not have our plans, but at the end of the day, (quoting from some movie) what will happen is that the plan is not going to stick to plan.

When you have gotten sick of being either of the 4 characters of Change, then you turn yourself into the leader of the 4, become the Agent of Change. Affect the change, not be affected by it.

But let our group survive in these times of bad economy and bad situations with the strongest bonds we formed all these years going through shit and puberty.

Coming past the 40minutes mark, need to head down somewhere to buy my underwear and get dinner.

till next book out.

YuJun

things are changing (Part1)

2009-02-22T02:50:00.004+08:00

starting with the title, my mood now is kind of dead and pretty much demoralised with things happening. or changing.

As according to the ancient folklore deeply engraved on the rock-like surface of my brain matter since Intro to Marketing class, it goes like "the only Unchange is Change." Coming to the topic of Change, some people embrace it, some try to reject it, while others deny it and try to ignore it.

In different situations, we all fall into one of, or both of, or seldom all of, the 3 different Change characters; Embracers, Resisters and Aloofs. Embracers take ups what change that comes in their way, adapts fast to it and live life with change. It's not easy but they put it off still. Resisters, as the name suggest do not like change for the fear that change will weaken them or allow them to face unfamiliarity. Aloofs people tries very hard to not pay attention to the changes around them. What is complicated about the Aloofs is that they can be aloof in the Embracers way or the opposite; living the the changes but making minimal efforts to change themselves and Resisters direction is to pay minimal attention to the change and pretend that nothing has change. So all in all, there's 4 different kinds of Change characters.

After the lengthy portion about Change and Change characters, now is the main dish of this entry, also the main motivation for me to sit hours before my laptop in the middle of the night, so as to get some undisturbed blogging time.

Went to a bar at Clark Quay yesterday with PTP buddies. The time spent there did not live up to expectations. The bar was kinda small, something we didn't expect and we made reservations for ten people and those who bothered to show face numbered off to five in the bar. So the first drink came, followed by the finger food and concluded by a second drink. We waited for others to turn up with the concurrent activity of consuming the food and drinks took roughly 2 hours. The wait was boring but what made the evening a real irritant is that we had smokers who popped out to the 'fresh air' outside to take a puff, snoozing their nicotine alarm (you can almost hear the 'ni-coo-tine~','ni-coo-tine~' sound). This broke the small group into smaller groups that did not appreciate the small small group interaction. With agreement, those who was left to freeze to dead with boredom inside the bar settled the bill and headed out to the 'fresh air' area to settle the cash payment to me. Busy with calculations, I thought I would be able to skip or at least selectively block out the disgusting images of my PTP buddies smoking.

Those who have long ago declared themselves to be smokers, although still much disgusted, fared much better when I saw them smoked. What terrified me was Dennis smoking. Didn't knew about his past as a smoker and when he snubbed the cigarette butt that some other guy has passed to him, i unconsciously turned my head back and took a snapshot of the filthy poisonous gas gusting out of his nostrils. I can still see it in my mind. I am promised of this image whenever I see his face and the word 'Dennis'. Yes, personally I feel that I am very much aware of my over-reaction to people smoking but I can't help but to widen my scope to observe the other smokers around. The other bar just beside, the Irish pub just opposite the narrow two lane street, the group standing just outside 7-11 and many many others, suddenly the presence of smokers became so prominent to me that at the back of my brain, I ransacked sociological ideas, marketing explanations and bio psychological and psychological reasoning to reassure myself that what is happening is not a result of them wanting to harm their body but under many many other factors. But I failed. and the normal chants came out of my thought. Let's just hope the drug or drugs (considering how many types of different chemicals there is inside just one stick of cigarettes) carefully packed into the boxes will kill their consumers.

People I mix with are changing. Suddenly, last night i found myself in the company of loads of smokers. Mental note to self to not go drinking with smokers again. or maybe not go to bars and pubs. I shall be a Resister in this scenario, I want to stay true to myself.

Now think, if you were me,
in a situation similar to mine,
in a situation different from mine,
in a situation closely similar to mine,
in a situation vastly different from mine,
what character will you become?

Will you change (or not change) for the better?

--to be continued, this post is taking up most of my sleep time, shall continue tomorrow, part 2:Drum Changes--

some free time.

2009-01-12T11:57:00.002+08:00

hello people!

have not touched my blog for ages.. today is special because go off day..

hance the extra time to switch on my computer and even blog for you to read..

Time passed really fast and 1 month has passed like that.. Among those who have seen me recently have commented that i look more tan and slimmed down. well, at least all the training paid off.

it is fun i guess, breaking away from the daily routine of going to school and studying. Change of a lifestyle and interacting with more people means something to me.

Haha.. so fast run out of time le.. til next time.. or just call me out for a meal!! hah

YuJun

Happy (working) holidays!

2008-12-05T22:23:00.003+08:00

Another 12.5 more hours and this semseter will be over.

Watching (or should i say listening) to the last online lecture for the last paper. Woohoo.

Then after 1200hrs tomorrow, it'll be a busy week le.

Saturday(tomorrow):

1000hrs-1200hrs :Management Information System Final Exams (which i am not interested in, not prepared and not good at). All the best to me.
1230hrs-1500hrs : Drum Practice
1700hrs-2130hrs : Part-time Work (Anthropology.)
2130hrs- late: KTV somewhere in Town with Janice, Zenna,Doris, Jay, Dannis, two friends of the Doris, Jay and Dannis. Perhaps Tony will come too. Tony please come, i think you'll like Jay and Dannis. haha.

Sunday:

Morning. Start shopping for CNY? on the account that being in NS won't give me much time to shop for CNY clothes? Or just window shopping ba. haaahahaaaa.
Afternoon to Late evening. Part-Time Work

Monday:

Morning. Shopping again. Apart from CNY shopping, still have to get ready for NS, need to get some items, like Ziplock bags, underwear (yes, i'm serious, it's stated on the letter they sent me , under ' you may also bring... "extra underwear"'), a cheap digital watch, etc. Haha, let's hope i can get what i'll need.
Afternoon to Late evening. Part-time work again.

Tuesday:

Morning. Nothing planned. Probably going to spend time alone after being so tired of trying to please all the people around involunteerily. Away from crowds and find true self. Crap.
Afternoon to late evening. Part-time work.

Wednesday:

Morning. Tie up the loose ends with society i guess. (since NS can be classified as a Total Institution, reminded of Sociology Finals question on Socialization)
Afternoon. I'm free :]
Evening. Piano Lesson at 5pm and Dinner with Sean, Sean (yes two seans, not typo), Vincent and Chen Chen for dinner. Somewhat like a Farewell dinner. Haha, good and friendly teammates.

Thrsday:

Morning. Part-time Work
Late Afternoon. Rest and Final Preparation for NS (e.g. stare at ceiling and think. LOL)

Friday:

0800hrs: Report at the Camp.
Rest of the day: Well... who knows :]

Well, that's my most accurate schedule to this point of time.

It feels kinda of heart warming that people find time to have dinner with you before you Go into NS. but then you also see that some people don't try hard enough, "oh, you are not free that time ar, see how lor". see how lor followed by not hearing from them anymore. oh well, at least they tried and with my tight and inconvenient schedule, I can't really blame them i guess. well, you can say that i'm guessing real hard.

Studying hard so I can sing without guilt tomorrow. jaja.

Byebye

YuJun aka ONg LAi

army days.

2008-11-27T00:43:00.002+08:00

yes people.

as expected, i've not been successful in getting a silver grade for my NAPFA test.

Hence, i'll be enlisting on 12th Dec 2008, one month extra for PTP (Physical Training Program) and will be released 1 month later!!

Well, i have thought over it. It's actually ok for me to go in early.

why?

it's only a matter of time when you go in. yes, it means freedom for 2 months, but what's the good of the 2 free months when actually sleep and eat and sleep and eat? if that's not your life, it's somewhat like mine, especially during holidays.
then i get 2 months pay!! more than that i'm getting now working in anthropology. but it's more relaxed and the hours are lesser . yes i know, but let what must come, come!
and going to re-take my NAPFA over and over again is demoralizing. wasting Wednesday mornings and disgracing myself there for 3 times, i had enough.
it's a sign that i need proper physical training. from who, the best gym in the country of course.
and with the lengthen BMT period, i just heard from the instructor at TPY stadium, means a less packed schedule.

all in all, i'm going in early.

put it in the harsh words, i'm one who gives up, a failure but on the optimistic point of view, i'm evaluating my options. (great thinking man) yes, i can almost hear you saying that.

got to go sleep or do more work.

Night pple!

YuJun

bowing down to fate.

2008-11-25T11:23:00.002+08:00

If i fail to get silver for NAPFA test tomorrow morning again, I shall concede defeat and bow down to destiny. Scarficing my 2 months of freedom.

So tired of disgracing myself at Tao Payoh Stadium over and over again.

YuJun

Avenue Q

2008-11-17T01:29:00.003+08:00

Hello People!

Came back home after watching Avenue Q a few hours ago. Enjoyed it a lot, since i burnt my pocket paying for the ticket. It might sound like I'm forcing myself to enjoy the musical, but trust me, IT WAS REALLY GOOD!! I like how the whole show was carefully choreographed, meticulously puppetted(pardon me for the improvised word), handsomely/beautifully designed stage and not forgetting to mention the very sensitive issues about society that were so generously discussed, like porn, straight sex, gay sex, losers, dreams, purpose (or propose) in the light of selfishness, gaining happiness from others' misery, etc.

I think i enjoyed the show so much because of my Sociology course. Hmm, there were some slight glitches i didn't like, but that didn't stop me from loving the show. Like what i told Hwan and Zi Ming, luckily we saw the last show, if not, i might be back to watch it again. Wait a second, i burnt my pocket remember? and I told myself I'll watch HSM3 again, but i didn't. So even if i was given a chance to watch the musical again, i doubt I'll do so.. haha..

And watching the show with friends from both university and Drums were kinda cool, since i don't have time to think to myself (in other's point of view, EMO) since i have to keep interacting with the 2 sides, a pity both sides were kinda shy, but who won't be in that kind of setting?

Got a necklace from TopMan while waiting people to turn up. Hmm, it was quite a steal. It's a bolt design, and the actual price was $23, but do to the fashion vs time effect, i manage to get it for $9. Well, that just tells you how much TopMan is earning from you from every item they sell you, remembering that no businesses will( or should not) ever make a loss from a transaction. Painful outlook at business. Hmm, pretend you didn't see this sentence if it bothers you.

Talking about shopping, I'll but MayDay's album in support of their very nice song in the latest album Although i burnt my pocket after Avenue Q. Never been a great fan of them, but this album (after hearing over the radio and other sources) proves to be compacted with great songs that cause a tingling sensation in me. Great Work Mayday.

Then Yesterday, we had our performance at RP, Reflection Concert is the name if I didn't remember wrongly, which is part of their Art Festival. Erm. the performances was good and our performance was great, according to the Art Director of RP, the other performers as well as the audience who innocently laughed at our performance but was awed by the end of the performance. it was heartwarming that we had both stage support (edwin, teck Li and others) and audience support (norman, russell and friends)

I can't help it but can i complain about the performance? (note to self: why are you even asking anyway? Can they reply after you post this blog with your near-to-perfectionist complains?) Well, I'm not a perfectionist, but i do want to see quality in things we (as a group) do. Especially on stage. For me, the stage is not limited to the timber which we step on, bounded by curtains, brightly lit up by spotlights and all other kind of lights being switched on and focused on in a big room which resembles the Cerebow machine in the Movie X-men which is Professor X's XL version mind reading device.

The stage is when we put on our Group (black with white prints) shirt and people recognise you not by individuals but a group. The Art Director told his students, if they perform on stage, it doesn't matter who the performers are, at the end of the day, the audience will give credit or disservice to RP and RP only. Well, I totally agree with him. So when being recognised as a group, I think our performance has started. With this mindset, every word you say, every move you make, the audience can see. And the audience is not only those who manages to get the tickets and fill up the seats in the theatre, the audience is everyone who can see you as the group member. Oh well, then who is the audiences you may ask.. Let's see, the RP art director, technical Staff, Stage managers, Stage Hands, Arts Administrators, Other performers, etc.. these people are so much different from the normal audience mentioned earlier. they get to see your item over and over again, and worst, your silly behaviour when you are around them. on stage, off stage, back stage, dressing rooms, toilets, during dinner, loading bay and even while you take photos! More irritating than anything else, is Standing on stage, with or without the spotlights on, like your daily self (jokes about others that are irritating, isolating yourself in a corner of the room and sleeping to look pathetic, taking other performers seats, not paying attention to others around you, curse and swear, spending money on food like food money is never an issue, etc) on stage is totally outrageous (at least for me) and idling on stage makes me wanna punch you off the stage. so that you won't disgrace yourself, or should i say, our group any further.

I sound like I want to create a pseudo culture for our group, but what i hope (to the highest degree this word can be used and yet not to the level of the word 'want') to see is that we can be sensible in front of all our audience. Being a performer, forget about your personal space until you go home and take off that black shirt with white prints! Think of what image will be formed from every move you make, every word you say, even if the other party might not understand your language. Be more self conscious. Take on and embrace your role on stage, whether Helper or Performer, know the purpose of your role and take back all your complains and play the role well, as ZingO.

Ahh~~~~~~~~ feel so much better after bottling this up for close to 30 hours or so since yesterday's first run through. although i should be sleeping

and one more tiny complain, performers' food need to be improved on. BAD FOOD LEADS TO WORSE FEELINGS!

Going to sleep.

Night people!!

ONg LAi

ps. need to further work on my NAPFA performance.

blog goes on.

2008-11-09T20:09:00.002+08:00

Hello folks!

(the greeting is learned from my lecturer in Management information system)

Hmm, been real long since I posted about me toying with the idea of not continuing this blog. Well, during this period, i set up a blog on word press and even have one entry! Having another blog on word press made me realise something, I need the privacy in the virtual world. Hence, i'll continue with Drum-boarding along side with my word press blog.

"so what? he have two blogs, then?!"

well, that was my imagined reaction to any readers who talk in the street gangster slang (me thinking too much, i guess). Anyway, the difference will probably be the content that i'll put into the blogs.

The reasons of me maintaining this blog is that I still have my readers (read: friends who put time to take a look on how i'm doing lately) and it serves as a form of connections to these readers. Many of them just read, and do not comment. I guess it's the comment box being a indicator of presence and people this age just like to know about things, but are unwilling to expose themselves. Second guess of the post. Bottom line, friends who knows me for who i am, please put up with my horrible English as well as my crude way of looking at and living life. I'm continuing so we don't lose contact. Yes, i'll go visit your blogs to show my presence sometime, when i'm able to breath from my pile of schoolwork.

to be continued.

gong for dinner with family.

ONg LAi

2008-10-20T13:07:00.002+08:00

the end of one is the birth of another,

I'm talking about my blog.

Been toying with the idea of changing my blog URL to a secret address, or maybe deleting it.

hmm, too many stuff that are not meant to be said are said here. just a 2 year old blog can cause so much offences.

Maybe i just complain too much, but let's hope the new blog will be more general and personal.

oh ya, did i tell why I'm changing my blog?

I'm moving on to the next stage.

NS days.

received my enlistment letter a few days back. Going to commando on 12 DEC. Well, this is the tentative date, if i pass my NAPFA, then it's a different date i suppose.

Well, look out for my Next blog ba. doubt I'll be changing the URL, just different content. :]

ONg LAi

updates

2008-09-29T23:57:00.002+08:00

hello.

done some updates on my blog. Pls take some time and view and listen to the music and videos inside the orange boxes above. Thanks.

riverfest (so is F1. yea.) is over and reality from school hits hard. i get the impression that I am a social loafer! bloody hell, i hate loafers and here i am, one big fat social loafer. feeling so bad about this today, even worse that last night at Clarke Quay. gosh.

but i won't complain for the sake of complaining. will prove to myself and others that i am not a social loafer.

Yu Jun

blogthings.com

2008-09-24T22:17:00.002+08:00

hi guys,

getting really bored from watching online lectures. hence, i went to blog surf and came across this old site i used to go to and did a few of the 'quizzes'.

Supposedly, it is meant to tell you more about myself.

You Are Bare Feet

You are a true free spirit, and you can't be tied down.
Even wearing shoes can be a little too constraining for you at times!

You are very comfortable in your own skin.
You are one of the most real people around. You don't have anything to hide.

Open and accepting, you are willing to discuss or entertain almost any topic.
You are a very tolerant person. You are accepting and not judgmental.

You should live: Somewhere warm

You should work: At your own business, where you can set the rules

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

so, is this good? I can't even say how true this reflects about me. Deep down, i find common ground with the above results, but according to Cooleys, my reflecting glass mirrors(friends, family, others around me), don't quite suggest that the results are true..

maybe that's why i like to be alone most of the time. hmm.

You Are 83% Perfectionist

You're a total perfectionist. So go ahead and congratulate yourself on a "perfect" score.

The truth is, everyone is sick of living up to your standards. And you're probably even sick them yourself.

Are You a Perfectionist?

Are you sick of my expectations?

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.

You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.

You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.

Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.

You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.

Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.

In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.

At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.

With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.

As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.

On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

Note: this is 70% true.

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are aloof, mysterious, and distant.
People feel like they really don't know the true you...
Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force.

Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself.
It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose.
You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.

What's" the Part of You That No One Sees?

hmm, lots of common ground found. I find this amazingly true.

You Should Play the Piano

You are a true music aficionado who loves many musical style and eras.
You find music to be an escape. And you'd like to be relaxed and comfortable when you're making it.

You're very innovative, and you have a unique way of knowing what may sound beautiful.
There's a strong possibility that you could compose some of your own work songs quite easily.

While you have a lot of creative energy, you are also serious and conscientious.
Your musical talent needs time, practice, and lots of privacy to flourish.

Your dominant personality characteristic: your painstaking attention to detail

Your secondary personality characteristic: your natural tendency to be whimsical

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

Whoots, i picked the correct instrument to pick up. 75% alike.

Well, 5 quizzes to let you know more about me.

til next time!

ONg LAi

2008-09-19T16:21:00.005+08:00

Hello!

look at this photo.

Once again, my Soul camera has been put to use.

Doris commented that I look bloated, but i can assure that it is due to the angle.

when i took the photo, i saw a peaceful and tranquil Me in the picture.

how i wish i can attain that state of emotion most of the times.

hence, i put this on my blog to remind myself to work hard to be peaceful.

Seems so hard.

Back to watching online videos.

bye~

ONg LAi

ZingO

2008-09-15T08:44:00.004+08:00

For Fame and Glory,

We perform.

For Friends and Respect,

We unite.

But for what do we perserve?

I think it's for achievement.

But come to think of it,

what have I achieved?

school started.

2008-09-07T11:12:00.002+08:00

Harlow people.

as the title suggests, school have started, then sorry to my blog and readers, for not posting frequently (read: very long no post le).

well the pressure of studies have definitely set in to squeeze me. Also, projects comes one by one and compact your social time. on top of that, i'm planning to get a part-time job, both for the money and experience. other demands of life also make it so hard to breath and sleep properly, such as drum and family. Luckily, there's always music (drum and piano), arts and Starbucks to give me some life juice to ensure that i can move around, either voluntarily or reluctantly.

for school, doing project with some new and familiar people is really tough. because you see ideas coming form 2 sides of the spectrum and that those ideas are impossible to compromise, then you decide whose ideas you should support, or to kill that is. hmm, maybe it's time to set some rules and force my way down on them. and i've been behind the online lecture videos, need to find more time to look at them. wonder if i can manage my time well.

managing time has been posting problems,since i can plan a few appointments in a day; school in the morning, project meetings during lunch, rushing to piano practice or work interviews or home in after lunch, the rest of the day, something pops up, maybe near to last minute drum appointments, family gathering, and such.

and things goes wrong that i feel so stressed that it took me bloody 5 minutes to spell the word "minute" in a SMS. GOSH. however, other than personal ambitions planning to get more things done,the problems lies is people think like the economist, the arthopologist, the psychologist and not like the sociologist in the old elephant story (to be shared later). The above sentence probably makes me sound like a self-centred and egoistic person who shifts the blame to others when things goes wrong or not up to expectations. Well, although i am a little prone to be egoistic, i do not shift blames.

The Old Elephant Story

Once, an elephant was introduced to the psychologist, the economist, the sociologist and the arthopologist. The social scientists were all blindfolded that that time to allow specialist efforts on their studies with the elephant. so one by one the scientists began to examine the elephant and choose which part of the elephant they would like to focus on. The psychologist quickly found the head of the elephant and said,

"This is where the mind lies, we should study here to understand the elephant thinks."

Next came the economist, who immediately headed towards and touched the tusk of the elephant and commented,

"This part is most valuable, we should study this part of the animal to explore it's value."

Following after the economist, the arthopologist used no time to identify the ears and eyes and said,

"what it knows and learned is by sight and hearing, we need to study here!"

Finally, the sociologist spent some time to explore the animal, the body, the legs, the tusk, the tail, the ears, the head, the mouth, as well as the back of the animal, sitting there listening to the sound the animal makes. Finally, the sociologist said,

" We can't study only one part of the animal as each and every part contributes to what the animal is. We'll need to take our blindfolds off and work together."

What happened next is up to your imagination, but it was not the happy ending kind.

(i typed the story based on memory after reading it from textbook, it does not belong to me. thanks)

i still have loads to say, but then i know that some stuff are not meant to be shown on blogs, cause you never know exactly who is reading your stuff. and when you do, you will have to be less open as many observations are often faced with pain and denial. i guess i have to keep some stuff to myself and only myself.

(in the way tony says it) bye bye.

ONg LAi

Holidays

2008-08-13T13:08:00.004+08:00

Harlow pple.

have not post on my blog for 2 weeks already! been some time but then it was for good cause; i was studying for my much dreaded finals exams. and computer avoidance was part of the "study hard for exams" package.

Anyway, note to my blog, sorry for the negligence and your stagnant look for the past 2 semester. Congrats for a new look. will be spending more time to post on you during the holidays le!!

ok, let's start talking about my life which is not recorded on my blog.

hmm, to my memory, i had Friday night meeting about the moonfest de technical details.
after the meeting, went home to slack around abit after the accounting exams. from 11 to 3.30am, i was playing around with my computer's excel trying to put what was discussed during the meeting to excel. then sent it out and had a short sleep before heading to practice, which left me with tired eyes and a body that needs more rest. Wore the wrong shirt during practice with the right shirt in my bag all along. hmm. this left me to ponder about options and opinions.

i made a terrible mistake about wearing a black singlet during practice and left the black ZingO tee in my bag. hmm, practice was from 1030hrs (mr yip was late) to 16oohrs? Mimi and Peiyi came to look at our practice at 1430hrs? basically, we were supposed to present ourselves in the cool looking black ZingO tee to mimi and pei yi, but zi ming and i changed into something else. but no one remind us about the cool looking black ZingO tee for the presentation. and we sort of got punished for the negligence.

punishment aside, the option of not reminding us 2 fools about the shirt, was it really due to laziness? i don't think so, hence it left me to seriously consider the motive behind the option of not posting the reminder. i came up with 1)backstabbing, 2)hope of self-realization, 3) playing a fool of us, 4)to remind us of your status among us, 5)checking if there are kind souls in ZingO who would have post the reminder, 6)you forgot yourself, 7)not in the mood to help, etc etc. I have a longer list that should be left in my mind, but no matter what is the true objective, it does not matter now. since things has passed and the delivery of the objective is so vague, i should be vague in receiving the message as well. Well, isn't this a happy ending? although i have to remind myself that everyone is a hypocrite to a certain degree.

next chapter.

7th month is here. started getting random smses from pui yee about the getai at her void deck. haha. then from my own point of view, feeling very lonely recently. my daily activities has not been through of much changes but feeling more lonely then usual. have the urge to express this form of loneliness on stage but then it's not a high possibility. to resolve this, i decided to let things go away on it's own, the 7th month will pass soon. good brothers and sisters ar, kindly leave me alone ba. hah.

next.

watch "The journey to the centre of the earth" with Janice and belson on Monday, it is a good movie, we had or laughs and i think it is worth it. haha, i'm rushing for time, so will be less long winded. nothing to complain about the movie.

next.

had lunch with sarah and julie yesterday. the initial objective for meeting with julie was to get more information from julie about the Bangkok trip, but then it became a simple lunch plus catching up session, for the girls at least.

then i went to catch "dark knight", another good movie, but i felt that it was too long, even for the exciting storyline. can be more concise, like how Wan will say.

next.

plans for the holidays,
watch the movies that i missed because of the exams,
go to have a nice Korean meal
go to Korean supermarket to buy some delicious food.
have fun with fang, singchun, yuhui,
etc etc.

bye
YuJun

Horoscopes

2008-07-31T10:35:00.002+08:00

Hello!!

just received those chain email. but as usual, i'm not going to care about it. Ensuring that whatever (bad luck, misfortune, etc) don't happen on me is just too tiring. What can go wrong, will go wrong and must go wrong. On top of that, it's like sharing misfortune with people while you get safe (with no granatee), why do so much sins.

haha, i'm talking serious a moment ago. Just remembered that I told Yong Xin in secondary 1 that if you continueto send out those chain mail or letter, instead of ensuring nothing bad happens to you, it just returns to you 10fold if you send the mail to 10 people.. haha. it was very funny that she actually believed me. Hope that she didn't remember it after so many years. Oh ya, she's a Libra. Haha.

Anyway, i'm posting the horoscopes details without all the curseing.

Here it is!

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter (Dec 22 - Jan 19) Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny.. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times. Like competition. Get what they Want.

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative..May become secretive and vague. Sen sitive. Don't like details. Drea my and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

TAURUS - The Enduri ng One (April 20 - May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not lookin! g for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable But needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beaut iful physically and mentally.

CANCER - The Protector (June 21 - July 22)Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely! kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO - The Boss (July 23 - Aug 22)Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help Others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sen sitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.

VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argume ntative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to.Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct ! 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

SCORPIO - The Intense One (Oct 23 - Nov 21) Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive.. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't lik! e responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Hav ing lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes.. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

That's all.

ONg LAi

Imprefection

2008-07-28T00:23:00.000+08:00

Photos from my phone again.

The Unperfect mE.

Looking at the 10pm TV series on chanel U, “Perfect Cut” recently provided me with many insight about life. It was especially so when the ideas are abstract and portrayed by good-looking actors and actors who manages to push the emotions/’feel’ to fit the ‘Perfect Beings” look.

As you might have seen from the video above, there were several eye candies from the two planets; the dudes, Thomas Ong, Julian Hee, as well as the babes, Michelle Chia, Constance Song, Apple Hong, Felicia Chin and Joey Swee with her inner beauty more then external beauty.

As the show slowly progress, the external perfection with Botox, skin tightening, double eyelid, breast enhancement, etc was portrayed with the positive light, but that didn’t get me into the perfection thinking mode, my sister included after she saw how much pain the ladies went through just to get bigger breast or their vagina tighten or pricked by needles. This was how the show started, but as the plot slowly unfolds, things get more complicated and the mature themes got into me. -.- One day, I went to have my haircut and looked into the mirror for the longest duration recently. I realized that my single eyelid eyes are uneven, and with the media portraying the perfection models not only in The Perfect Cut but also the movies like Red Cliff, I realized that I am not perfect.

Imperfect, I have to constantly remind myself that everyone is imperfect to suppress the urge to save money to go for an eyelid operation to even both eyes and cut flab future to gain a body like Julian’s. Then, Lasik came into my mental thoughts, being half myopic is a disadvantage even if I can see perfectly well with one eye.

All the physical imperfection got into me and I sort of put that behind me until I reminded myself that I don’t have the inner beauty to make up for the external perfection. I am imperfect inside out. -.- imperfect with looks and brains and emotionally, I find it hard not to think about the ways to be more perfect, although I know I’ll never have the money to be perfect via the knife.

Some quotes that left a deep impression on me from the show:
“There are no ugly people, only poor people” – Alex Tan
“There are no fat People, only lazy people” – Sky Tan
“Everyone has a psychological problem; it only differs on the seriousness of it.”—Kelly
“Using inner beauty to compensate for the flawed exterior” – Song lyrics
“Inner beauty?! Who can see that?” – Bobby Low
“People are interested me for my money, you are interested with your patients for their money too!” Some Auntie to Alex Tan
“Why will you want to be someone else’s shadow when you can be yourself? – Kelly
“Does the opinion of others really matter?” -- Kelly

Anyway, that’s all fro the show since it has ended and there will be little chance that I will be able to watch it again, unless Channel U rebroadcast at a convenient timing.

Feeling imperfect makes it hard to accept criticism during drum practice, maybe even beyond the 8 hours of drum to life. However, remembering the last quote, I realized that I am overly sensitive.

Till next time.

ONg LAi

Dilligence

2008-07-17T10:16:00.005+08:00

(I'm getting addicted to taking photos on my phone.)

Harlow.

I'm learning the Blues recently and I think the Blues has got the better side to me, especially on the music side of me.

I went for piano class yesterday totally unprepared. End result? I wasted both the teacher's and my time. She say some words to me yesterday before i left for home,

"Why don't you go learn Singing? A Pianist have to play the piano until he is confused. ... With all the instruments around, the Pianist is the most hardworking, followed by the violinist." -- Miss Leong Xiao Yan

Knowing her intention at heart, I thank her for saying words slanted at this angle because it was kind of her and impactful for me. I spend the whole night and this morning thinking about practices.

In the past, i treated practices as a second priority, practicing when I'm free, skipping class. Things have to change. To not waste the money invested, not letting down my piano teacher and lastly myself, i got to practice hard.

Of course, this applies to drum as well. Being a percussionist, i suck at drum. Actually, i suck at music. Being a sucky person, i got to use something else to compensate for this. HARDWORK. This might jolly well be the one best life lesson I learned from Mr Lee, since leaving secondary school.

"If you are not as smart, then practise hard to make-up for that in order to achieve the same standards." -- Mr Lee Kah Chin

To stack things up, I have been reading Tony's blog time to time and his entry after the omega performance, I sort of have some enlightenment regarding his serious (and somewhat moment of pissed feelings) outlook on us as performers. He articulate some unwritten rules that has been in the air. Although his entry hurts to a certain degree, I can't help to agree on the things that he said.

in point form, this is my response to what he mentioned.

Red Cliff was really nice. will be watching the sequel too.
High expectation can lead to high quality, but the pressure must be channelled correctly.
Performance mood have to be prepared, i agree.
ouch, my rhythm sense is offended.
"think for the group, act for the group"
Buck up Buck up = more practise for me.
thanks for letting me know how you think with ZingO, it helps :]

Got to end here so I can go school and study.

But i have to say thank you to Miss Leong, Mr Lee and Tony before i go. They contribute to part of my life lessons.

Hopefully, i can smile like this about music someday after hardwork.

Regards,
ONg LAi

2008-07-08T00:34:00.002+08:00

A trip to Changi

Went to Changi today, been there before, but today, i saw it's other side of it. I went alone to racky the chalet for ZingO end of year chalet. Being alone, my thoughts of the place are not affected by the comments of others. For example, my last visit to Changi was for a scouts' camp at Ubin, with the rest of the scouts, burden with food supplies and equipment, all was half excited and the other half unhappy that the camp is going to be cut short from three days to two. It was not really pleasant, especially for those who were the campers and the others who are the planners, that would be everyone except mr Lee, perhaps didn't understand the spirit of camping at that point of time. Hence, complains about the stuff being heavy, the sea smelled even more salty than it usually was, the fares for the bum-boats to Ubin were super expensive, etc. was heard. Inevitably, my spirit and attitude towards Ubin and Changi was affected for the worse. Since then, i never really gave a second thought to that place.

Changing the view from the rear mirror to the front of my life vehicle (ME), I used some time walking around Changi, not Ubin because i didn't have time to take the boat ride, from the Yatch Club chalet to the Beach Walk, to Changi Village and to the Changi Beach Park. It was great to take things at my own pace and being alone prevented distractions. I got some ideas of how the chalet activities and schedules would be after the time by the coastal line of Changi. A simple world of SAF power over the chalets and the smell of salt, polluted by the boats and rubbish found on the surface of the waters. I think looking at the sea relaxes the mental self. All the defense mechanism and skeptical thoughts slowly vanished, as thought left with my footsteps on the footpath.

Took this photo on my phone's camera and edited as well. Somehow, it looks really nice. Although the angle is learnt from one of the photos i saw before, the meaning of the photo is really different. This photo means alot, but I don't know how to put it into words.

I like the photo, do you?

ONg LAi

Summer Life.

2008-06-26T23:37:00.003+08:00

Finally, the hextic 6 weeks of MGB(organisational behaviour) and MGI(Human resources management) is over. Saying good bye to Dr. David Whitehead (but not the stuff he taught us), i am kind of glad that we managed to survive the 2 courses with such great project grades!

anyway, i like working with my groups quite alot and the class environment was great with grouping and coordination going along. It is an enjoyable half semester. Let's hope the next half will be slightly more relaxed.

I lived my life since last entry with great experiences.

i lived past miscommunication with emails.

i lived past 2 crazy exams.

i lived with planning for the future.

i lived by being a caffine addict, drinking starbucks, with my books.

i lived choosing tough decisions.

i lived by my motto, "do things to the fullest and leave no regrets."

i'm tired and confused.

night pple!

YuJun

PHOTOS FROM FLIPSIDE

2008-06-11T22:14:00.005+08:00

I GOT THE PHOTOS FROM FLIPSIDE!!

Thank you very much to Pui Yee and photography club friends, although a truthful comment form me would be to get more angles while taking the photos, and to give more exposure to others parts of the stage, other than where you can comfortably take photos while polishing the seat out.

Other than that, thank you very much for coming down and taking the photos and supporting the first show, which wasn't our usual standards. Sorry to put up such a lousy performance on the first night.

Here are the photos.

Blogger is giving lots of problems for me posting such fat-sized files. So til next time.

ONg LAi

Life's gooder.

2008-06-10T22:42:00.004+08:00

HelloOOOOO!

if you can't see my title for this entry, it's "Life's Gooder". Well, it's getting better than before but then it's still not perfect yet, "who have a perfect life?" you may ask. The question might be too philosophical for me to answer, so just treat it as food for thought.

Dividing my life into sections for easy reading, in sense that after reading the heading and decide to either read on or skip it depending on interest, you are given the right to do that. I am good to you right?? HaHa. just joking. getting serious.

NOW
It's raining at Yishun at this time, 2248hrs. Moderate-strong winds was blowing just now, but it had just down-sized to low-moderate wind which drastically chill the whole flat(apartment) down. It's that kind of weather that creates an atmosphere you wish that you have a cuppa of hot chocolate and play your beloved PSP games, read your favourite book and spend some quiet time alone while listening to the rain. Yea, it's cool but then life isn't a fantasy in reality. I have my sister disrupting my peace with her Sentosa-holiday plans. That does not help a brother doing his schoolwork and trying to finish projects. On top of that, Mom and Dad just reach home and starts asking loads of questions. It's good to talk, but seriously now's not the time. The thing i hate most of these situations is that I cannot talk back and ask them to buzz off. I admit that i am conditioned to reply to their conversation for 2 main reasons; one is that this is the short half an hour i get o talk to them in a day and if i don't talk to them, they might send me off to temples to get 'holy; advice thinking i am nuts. So that sums up the NOW part.

ZingO
As i mentioned before, ZingO is too integrated into my life for me not to blog about it and surprisingly, you can Google my blog by typing in ZingO Drums. LOL to that. Recently, after Death Of A Hero participation, came "FlipSide". Initially, most of us dreaded this performance as the time period for this performance and it's practice is supposedly our REST period. And the requirements are tough. A 30 minute performance of fun and light-hearted performance. WHOA! That was not what we are used to, stepping out of the comfort zone was tough, but luckily there was Death Of A Hero to help with that.

As time and practices went past us in our course of preparation, things went rapidly fast and the first performance was up. ZingO has the limitation in areas of "seeing things as audience". If we are all equipped with it, i doubt we will be drumming, but we have good friends to help with that. Benjamin, Doris and Zenna came and watch our impromptu/last-minute-changed performance on the first night. On a side note, Pui Yee got her photography friends and watch the first show as well. Trying to get the photos from her ASAP, and might post a few up.

The first show can be considered a disaster, "the flow was not oriented", "it was a flat show", "like ACES day" (internal comment), *applause was weak*. You know, all the sign and symptoms of a weak performance started surfacing during the show. As a performer, during the show, I have to act happy rather then be happy. HAIZ. deep depression.

But with comments and advice form Benjamin and Doris, Chun Ann (who have to credited for the script,drumming and choreography and communicating with the Esplanade personnel) rearranged the performance and the next day, the whole performance is different. Not to say that chun ann should be gloating, I'm just crediting not praising. There is a difference between the two. The saying goes "Singaporeans can't be praised or else they will ya-ya-banana."

perhaps after the first performance, due to low morale of a lousy show, everyone had the mental preparation to work hard and suffer more. In other word, the whole performers that day were more focused and extra efforts were imputed to training and performance. I like that; it re-ignited the dying flame of performer, a group and a passion. It felt like our performance at Thomas CC some time ago after seeing a Japanese group performed. Our spirits at that CC were charged up and later, we put up a great show, or so as the audience said.

After the second performance then i truly realise the importance of this state of mind, of being low in moral and wanting to do better. According to Shi Xiong's Terminology, it's call the "suffering" attitude, the willingness to give in more and not be complacent. However, the crux of this attitude is that it is hard to create artificially, easier to let the environment to create it. With the dependence of the environment factors, it reduced the control-bility. What we can do is to remind us constantly the two incident of what happened and not allowing it to re0occur.

The second performance won praises and applause from the audience. my statement to the second show is that "We won back our esteem as ZingO." Done as a group and each individual gave more form what they normally does. maybe that's ZingO. The only two regrets are that we done a bad show on the first day and those who watched the first show may have a bad impression on us, especially pui yee, who even brought her friends. haiz, can't be help. Just hope to get the first performance de photos from her asap. Miss Chee pui Yee, pls try to keep your evenings free for coffee meeting.

SchoolWork
"One minute spent is worth two minutes spent from May 20th to June 29th" that summarize my school life with 2 courses compressed to be finished in half a semester. It is really hectic and i'm taking a break from school work to blog, just in case if you were wondering. Research papers due dates are really coming close and both group de draft one are not out yet (I'm am partially responsible for that), so 4 times the hardwork now. Shall not talk too much to create boredom.

MISC
went to watch "auto auto" on sunday night, before the Human Resources Management mid-term exam. You know those days that you let your irrational-ism get the better side of you? It was what happened during the past weekend and the "auto auto" performance was to tell myself that i had to get back my rational-ism. but it was a enjoyable weekend with fun performance, as a performer as well as a audience. Watching a Car being transformed into a "grand Piano" is absolutely great. the whole show is great, the lights, technical aids, performer's effort, script, props were greatly used. Well, maybe not that great, there's one thing i am picking on and that is the main performer's energy level dropped when his co-performer did a error in smashing the window instead of creating a convertible with 4 windows. That's how i saw it, different people have different views thou.

Alright, this post have been posted in an condensed manner, and i have to get back to research papers.

till next time!!

ONg LAi
"Life's a PERFORMANCE"

That bad

2008-06-04T01:20:00.003+08:00

Hello!

Ok, good news people!! i'm not blogging because i am feeling down, emo or sad by life events.

Wahaha, surprising huh? especially to perry, who highlighted to me that my blog sounds all so emo and sad. well, my blog is kinda like me with only my negative feelings written down. Or to say that i dun wanna or dun have the motivation to blog about the happy things about my life. It's like telling people what i want and this form of self-disclosure is kind of threatening. Just thinking people know you well enough to predict your behaviour and how you think is a scary thought, and this form of power, is better left to people who i interact with face to face and in the first and second circles of my social circles (i think i have 5 circles) and not to people who i have never seen before and may use this power to control me. [Definition class-- Power: the ability to exert control over someone to do what he wishes]

But then today, i think i am going to make an exception, thanks to Suh Seung Won and her wonderful mom. Today, technically yesterday, i got a bag of kimchi (for those who don't know what it is, fermented Chinese cabbage, Korean style) from Seung Won!! she brought it to class for me!! it stinks a little but then we ensured that we wrapped it well enough to not bring other Kimchi fans to a state of exhilaration, like i did when i saw her with the Kimchi and smelt it. wahahahah. i had to wrap it up for another reason and that is to keep the kimchi chill until i got home at 1900hrs. when i reached home and tasted it, i was feeling happy in a way that i have not felt for perhaps 1 year, i suppose.

THE POWER OF KIMCHI!!

the taste was superb; the blandness of the Chinese cabbage is being infused with the spiciness and tint of sourness of the Korean seasoning is very well balanced. just the scent/stench of the kimchi was enough to cause arousal and upon tasting, all my taste buds were close to over-reacting. if they could talk, i think i would have been told hurry cook some rice to eat with kimchi. haha, luckily there was still some self control governing my mental processes.

actually kimchi has another meaning to me as well, perhaps that's what accounts for the one year absence of exhilaration in me. but then, i guess, only i know it well and partially regret it well.. but then history can't be altered.

i was telling Yi Fen, that for my birthday, i don't mind receiving Kimchi, at least dun expect me to carry it around (that contradicts with what i told Valentia about my bag being heavy with kimchi but i dun mind because it is kimchi. lol.) haha, people, you know what to do!! i' joking, seriously.

That's the happy part of me. after reading so much, there might be one idea popping in your mind right now-- "wa seh, YJ/ONg LAi is so easy satisfied with Kimchi. superficial guy".I'm not blaming you for coming to that conclusion about me. however, that's why i dun like to blog about the happy stuff about my life, cause people judge easily and jump to conclusions. I don't ask for much (it's a matter of perspective) and sometimes, i'm amused by how little things can make me feel in different ways. like kimchi with exhilaration and drums with serious thinking.

"oh well, isn't is the same for the emo stuff you posted in your blog before?"

hell yea, it is.

the happenings in my life is only partially posted on my blog, and it may not be totally true, what i post and what i experience. It may be the high intensity part of my life that is recorded here, but life's does consist more than just the intensified parts, there's the not-so- and not- intensified part of life to moderate these emotional away.

All i'm trying to express here is to not only depend on my blog to read me, although it maybe a good guide to follow along.

i'm losing coherence here with all these free writing.

ending here. but before that,

-ZingO Performance at Esplanade's Flipside!

-6th and 7th of June 2008 2200hrs @ the PowerHouse (outdoors)

-Flipside is organised by Esplanade, Theatres on the Bays to show case the fun side of the arts.

-ZingO will be experimenting with a fun and light-hearted style of festival drumming.

*magic word appearing*

--fREE aDMISSION--

-pls do come and support if you are free and interested.

YuJun/ONg LAi
"life's a performance"

confusion?

2008-05-26T08:33:00.002+08:00

Harlow friends.

sorry for not updating my blog for a long time; not posting new entries, not changing the skin, not updating my tunes, etc. I know you'll, if not already gotten bored with my blog after coming to my blog for the many many times and not seeing anything new. but then i will try to post more often since i figure out that i should set aside more time for myself after the Death of a Hero production.

Things has been rough and fast paced for me right now, with another esplanade performance coming up on 6 & 7 June. We are preparing for this performance without the luxury of time and other resource such as a practice venue. Well, since we have been thrown this challenge, we have to do it. That's what being in ZingO is, able to accept the challenges thrown to you at times you do not expect. However, being thrown challenges is only partially what i have been thinking about, in ZingO.

I'm actually sick of my pathetic GPA of 3.2, but then i ask myself, what activities took away my studies times and lesson time. After that, the next shove of words comes into my ear -- complains of choosing Exams over ZingO. That leads to me questioning myself, was it right to turn up for rehearsals for Death Of a Hero when I had exams the next day, the next week? It all boils down to expectation and priorities; some people can actually forsake family, work for passion but then there are people who remain deeply rooted in the dynamics of their life from passion.

And I wonder if my priorities ans expectation are so empirically different from others that I am being so differentiated and isolated (mentally). "Expectations lead to satisfaction, and not fulfilling the expectation creates dissatisfaction", that's a quote from my textbook. Somehow some sort, i always link my textbook materials to ZingO, thinking how it will apply with the real working world. For that, i actually have to thank ZingO for giving me the chance to imagine things in the business world.

Recently, i am studying Organisation behaviour and it applies to ZingO when it talk about who is in which position and what is happening. Part of it is Restructuring, Exit. Maybe my useful time is up. Once a utility is up, there is no point in managing it, it should be thrashed. Luckily for me, there's NS at the end of the year(supposedly) for me to be thrashed out and then later inspected for further usage. Well, face it, people are hypocritical, when you are useful, you are treated properly and people know where you stand. Otherwise, you know you are losing your status and purpose, at this junction of life why not take a left turn and exit this form of passion?

Confusion right now.

bye.

Annoucement!

2008-05-05T16:01:00.002+08:00

Death Of A Hero has successfully ended!!

it is a awesome production created by the hardwork of everyone involved!! Thank you millions to the cast, production team and Drummer boys( as how we are always termed)..

Due to IP of Esplande and Puppet Square, i dun feel safe posting the photos up, sorry for that..

then after the Death of a Hero performance on the last day, i got a sms from XIAO JUN WEN. the sms says that my blog entry (on 10th of April) make it sounds and looks as if xjw has boycotted ZingO.. Hence, you see me here, trying to clear his name.. Out of any intentions, having my blog entry sounding like that is not, i repeat, NOT what i had in mind when i wrote that post.. it was to let you peeps know who asked that question, since many in ZingO are asking the same question and i do not want to cause you thinking hard about who the person is. And if you are one of those people who have an misunderstanding with that post, pls read the following text very carefully. Xjw asked that question only to find out why i, maybe the others involved, why we are able to remain in ZingO under such pressure of a theatre production, with all the rehearsals and expectations. It is not, i repeat, not to serve as a 'boycott' purpose..

Case closed.

ME.

2008-04-26T01:25:00.005+08:00

Hello,

I guess I am going to hate myself at a later time, since I should be doing my computer stastics homework (online homework DO NOT work for me and if you are wondering if that's one reason why i'm here, YA) or sleeping and ensuring that i get enough rest for tomorrow, for the rehearsal at Esplande. I'm running out of time but then I'm still a bloody procrasinator.

anyway, i'm in the 'kind-of-feeling-down' mood and i went to hend and told him i want booz. That is seriously unexpected of me. I read all the blogs on my link list and different blogs tells a different story and with their powers combined, it made me feeling down right now. Hmm, especially with Jia Jia's blog, composed in chinese, used a really depressing tone to describe her encountance with the social norms and expectation we have upon our environment. Then reading Myrin's blog, too much jarcon and abbreviation on her blog for me to digest her text but the skin goes "Will you notice me?" plus hend informing me that Zhen's house warming is tomorrow with me being "shrouded in darkness".. No offence to !19 people because even if I knew about the party, I still won't be able to turn up because of drum. You guys know me well enough to realise that an invitation for saturday events won't work on me so you omited me from the invitation list. I understand. Then i move to reading other blogs and finally coming back to mine. It felt, and still do, that I have disconnected from the world. On top of that, Jia Jia mentioned about taking the uncovential route and breaking free from the environmental expectation imposed on us, futhers clog my brain with questions.

Who is Torna?
What is Lobo's vechicle plate number?
Will i further walk away from the convnetial route?
Will i find my identity and position is society?
i want to know.

Pictures from a bus trip from Lavender to Sembawang.

i like this picture, it feels and looks dark.

like the parallel feeing.

my close-up

Nostalgia Clip, no longer in use but still funtion as an Art of History.

ONg LAi aka YuJun

Story Time.

2008-04-25T10:52:00.006+08:00

Hello, posting something i received from Shi Ting long ago.

Here it goes,

"My husband is a scientist by profession, I love him for his steady-being nature, and I love the warm feeling while lean against his broad shoulder.Three years in the courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, I am getting tired of it, the reasons of me loving him before has now transform into the cause of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationship and feelings, I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy yearning for candy. And my husband, is just a contrast of me, his lack of sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I want a divorce.
'Why?' he asked, shocking.
'I am tired, there aren't reasons for everything in the world' I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thoughts the whole night with cigarette lighted all the times.

My feeling of disappointment is getting intense, a man who can't even express his detainment, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked:' What can I do to change your mind?' Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Look deep into his eyes and I slowly answered: 'Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind, Let say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we both sure that the making you to pick the flower will cause death, will you do it for me?' He said:' I will give you your answer tomorrow....'My heart just sinks by listening to his respond.

The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratching writing, underneath a glass of warm milk, It goes....Dear,'I would not pick that flower for you, but please allowed me to further explain the reasons” this first lines has already break my heart. I continue reading. 'You can only type with computer and always messed up the programs in the PC, and cries in front of screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always left the house key behind, I have to save my legs to rush home for opening the door for you. You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city; I have to save my eyes to leads you the way. You always have the cramp whenever your 'good friend' approach every month, I have to save my palm so that I can calm the cramp at your tummy. You like to stays indoor, and I worries that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stared at the computers, and that do no good to your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your nails, and help to removed those annoying white hairs. I will hold your hand, stroll down the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful sands... tell you the colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face... Thus, my dear, before I am sure there is someone who loves you more than I do... I would not pick the flower, and die... 'My tears drop on the letters, and blurred the ink of his hand writing... and I resume my reading...'

And now, dear... you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied with these answers, please open the door of our house, I am standing there, with your favourite bread and fresh milk... I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight on the milk and bread.... Oh I am sure no one ever loves me as much, and now I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, or some said, love, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to ignore the true love lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows in any form, even a very little and corny form, it has never been a model, it could be the most incurious form... flowers, romantic moments is only the buckish formed on the surface of the relationship.Under all this, the pillar of truelove stands... and that's our life...I hope everyone enjoyed reading it... love, but not words win the arguments..." *changed colour for Zi Ming.

touching story. even reading it time after time, it still induce the feeling to be more serious in a relation; looking back and finding myself foolish.

pls do comment. thanks.

ONg LAi

Death of a Hero.

2008-04-16T00:43:00.005+08:00

Hello!
doing advertising on my blog here..

This is a story about a Hero, a prophecy, and a quest to rid the world of all evil. It is also a story about the 100th Demon. the cause of all chaos, the maker of the Hero.
Will the Hero fall when he meet the 100th Demon, the greatest of them all?

Title: Death of a Her0
Date: 1-3 May 2008, Thursday to Saturday
Time: 8pm to approx. 9.10pm (this is a 70 minutes play but due to the 'live' nature, time may vary slightly
Venue: Esplanade Theatre Studio
Ticket Price: $25 (concession for students, NSF and senior citizens: $20)
Performed in Mandarin, English and some dialects as well.
Advisory:This production contains coarse language.

Why should you go??

-This is a play with humor, meaning, horror, good vs evil and romance.
-Chun Ann (model for the poster), Tony aka Hiu Tung, Ruo Han, myself and some other ex-CCHYians will be performing some minor roles and handling the percussion music, hope you will support.
-May 1st is Labor Day, supposedly, everyone would be free. Otherwise there's Friday and Saturday!!

I will be involved in this play playing some of the percussion music and minor roles in this 70 minute play brought to you by The Puppet Square and percussion music by ZingO. Due to the fact that you are seeing only the front of this flyer, i have listed down the details about the play below. This is keeping my life pretty busy on top of schooling, a lot of hard work and efforts and been put into this play, so i hope you guys and ladies can go support if interested.

Thanks.

ONg LAi

Dreams

2008-04-10T16:04:00.003+08:00

Harlow!!

been long since i have not blogged.. peeps who missed my blog entries, i apologise. But the person who might be affected is myself, looking back in life and regretting it when things are forgotten.

Hence,i'm here to record my life down.

For the past weeks it has been kind of hectic for me, both mental and physical; getting more quick-tempered and getting really weak (cough+ flu+ heatiness currently) as a main result of not getting enough sleep. Why you might ask, but if you have read ruo han or zi ming (new)blog or tony or edvwin's blog, you'll know the answer. Life has been filled with Drum practice and Drama rehearsal. So much that my MSN nick has been changed to "Yu Jun is blind to the obvious, On the edge of breaking down and Missing out personal life. However, for his (artist's)sake, will persevere and hope that others won't mind and support 'Death of A Hero' ".. That is basically a summary of my life and emotions. According to Sing Chun, i'm 'seow on' drums now: Wed-teach YYSS drums, Thur-Drama rehearsal, Fri-Drama rehearsal, Sat- Drum practice in the morning, Drama in the evening, Sun-work for family, Mon-teach Drum at YYSS.. hmm, Tuesday is DAY-OFF!! well, my week routine is basically disturbed. but nonetheless, i will push myself to the limit in hope that the return sense of achievement will be good.

then yesterday after the YOG appreciation dinner with some ZingO-ians at Orchard Hotel, with a tummy fulled of average tasting food, it was only a short while before i dozed off to get rest, expecting to get well this morning. During the sleep from 2300hrs to 0830hrs, i recall one dream that i felt really good. That's the strongest motivation for me to post this blog. Perhaps due to the fact that i have not had such a long sleep for ages and i could snooze after my phone rang in the alarm mode that i can recall the dream. The content of the dream is personal, so i won't go into the details, but roughly, it was a departure and then i found the person (read: non-human entity, just came to me in a human form). When the person left with me, i got that feeling that still lingers and resides in me now. I've been thinking about the dream all th day; during breakfast, during wearing contact lens, during taking the bus, while looking the gorgeous girl at the counter, during lectures, during lunch, well, you get my point.

What leaves me pondering is should i look for this person? i've never seen this person before, i cannot remember the look on the face, i cannot remember the feature, only the feeling. Hmm, generally the majority of life would just brush off my question by saying that it's just a dream and just that, nothing else. But irrationally, i feel the urge to ponder over the question further unlike the majority and hopefully get a answer or direction.

Another thing that i wanna record down would be a talk that i had with xiao jun wen, or rather an answer that he dug out off me during dinner. he asked "why are you still in ZingO?" Half stunned and halfway in thinking mode, i gave several reasons(7 actually) why i am still in ZingO. i have the temptation of writing an research paper to support my ideas and reasons. well, if i have had the time, i would. (trust me, i'm not being lazy here. maybe i'll work on it during the holidays) The origin of this temptation actually come from me wanting to answer the long-un-answered-question and to let my other friends who have undefined plans to know what i feel and determine if we have common ground, common reasons for us being in ZingO. Some of the reasons i highlighted are as followes.

the Zodiacs are still here in ZingO
i would not have a life without being involved in ZingO (read: i devoted my life at ZingO)
there is a sense of achievement when accomplishing the tasks and performance on hand.
i can learn a lot of things (drama, props making, drums, etc) from being actively involved in ZingO
Passion

that's all for today, as well as class ends.

ONg LAi

I need to breathe.

2008-03-18T23:07:00.003+08:00

Hello there!!

It has been a really long time since i did a proper blog entry for the reasons that i had to divert my blogging hours to my COMMS blog which has ended, second being that there are lots of exams and quizzes, and lastly, it's the project-ing buzzing my time around. To summarize, school matters.

Hmm, after such a long period without a decent entry in my blog, i wonder if i will look back in life and find missing chapters in my life (or not remember them at all). Hence, in the midst of projects, i found today and tonight to unwind all the frustrations and pissed-off emotions with friends and blogging i suppose.

From the last proper post, i took my mid terms exams (scored only 60s and 70s), i went to drama, drum and wushu (learnt many types of stretching and warm up), watched movies (AUGUST RUSH!), went to performance(at PS), worn my body out, and did group projects which made me really fed-up at times.

However, i faced with another rejection of a date. Intially, taking the rejection into my stride, it was all ok here and there and hopes were still high. However, as time pass by and projects and other matters of life flood my timetable, i placed a less significant on this issue, which made me disappointed, followed by disencouraged by "i'm not interested". Anyway, i will not give up!! have to re evaluate my strategies.

All of the above made kinda suffocated in life and today was breathing day. Many people, when getting depressed, allow their life to sink down to the drains and then live miserably and they PRAY(Push Until Something Happens). As the typical Leo, our reactions to these situation are different. TO feed our ego and restore pride as the King, we live life better than before. I allowed my wallet strings (male version of purse strings) loose and indulged with clothes. Thereafter, i asked janice, ruo han and tony out to sing KTV. However, Tony could not turn up die to sickness of the body. ANway, we had fun at TOP-ONE in bugis. it was relatively cheaper and the hardware was definitely better than K-box. The software still has room for improvements.

And tonight, no project emails that can send my blood boiling and personally, i want to take a breather and rest early tonight.

ONg LAi

P.S. Evan, i'm making this clear to you, I WILL TRY HARDER!

NICE SONG!!

2008-03-15T01:48:00.002+08:00

ZingO recruitment Drive (Mar 08')

2008-03-09T02:23:00.005+08:00

Hello guys and gals!

ZingO will be holding our Second recruitment. The poster says it all. hope to see ya!

Regards,

Yu Jun

*sorry for the 'su-bian-ness' of this post for something so serious. need sleep.

Get me DRUNK..

2008-03-01T00:36:00.003+08:00

give me loads of alcohol to get me drunk; only then i will lossen up and finally find an excuse for myself to act irrationally.

Sorry for not blogging actively for the past weeks.

Life have been busy and i feel abnormal still.

(maybe it's because all my friends out there are not tagging.)

Give me some alcohol and get me drunk.

Then give me some coffee the next day to start life all over again.

Your depressed Leo.

Your spendthrif Leo.

Your self-contained Leo.

Strained.

2008-02-23T08:43:00.004+08:00

Singapore Won the YOG!

(well, being at Padang got me so excited anyway)

i just read a couple of stuff before breakfast and led a life with and without a leader,a colleague,and without a friend. Woa, for me, it was bullshit. First, we're not robots to be programmed so much that we can switch on and off emotions; secondly, i knew you were scheming, but now, i recognised that you are as hypocritical as a coin. Thanks for letting me see that hypocrite side of yours, if it doesn't spoilt our relations, it most probably will strengthen it, as they say, "what won't kill you makes you stronger". After so many years, with the recent ones having more interaction, i understand now, i can not think too highly of a person to be morally, image-ly and friend-like upright. To think i saw you in awe and respect was given. Criticism i can take and absorb it in, your acts, i take it as betrayal.

we often bu suang abt the happenings in drum, then we ask ourselves from the end of the practice to right before leaving the house for practice, " why we're still going to drum practice since it really doesn't provide the motivation/incentive to go?" and many a times, if not all the times (til now that someone breach it) we leave the question unanswered to store up all the doubts and "Just do it!" as Nike says it.

Reading those two emails, changed my perception and mode of thinking. if you wanted performers' thinking, good for you, i have it. but a performer is on stage to express emotions, and hopefully the emotionally-charged me can express the kind of emotion you want.

Thanks again, for making me mature even more then it hasn't.

Best Regards,

Yu Jun

Tool.

unintention aims and sorrys isn't really effective.

5 minutes of blogging.

2008-02-19T23:57:00.002+08:00

Harlow, avid fans of my web-log.

joking there, dun take it too seriously.

have not touched my blog for quite a while and i am not going to allow monthsary on my blog.

and here i am giving myself 5 minutes to blog before 0000hrs and the log in took 3 minutes, left with 2, so giving myself 5 more minutes.

Filling in the missing chapter of my blog,

been trying to do my comms blog intensely but always distracted. but the quality of the posts there is not bad.
had loads of intense drum practice that sparks flew and burnt relations. and i thought F5 key would work after the clock struck 3pm that day. i'm soryy if my tone was too harsh.
school work is piling up and so are the projects and assignments.
with SP students having a 2.5 months hoilday and TP, NP gg into their exams stage, preparing for the holidays is not helping my mood to be a studious student.
little confidence with the subjects this semster.
Medical check-up on the 29th of Feb, hope things will go differently on the leap year.
Performance at Padang on thursday for the Youth Omlypics Bid Results at around 5~6pm. give some support yea?
Major performance #1 on Sat, no details yet, awating for the meeting tmr to shed some light into my dark plight.
to do list of life is not clearing up.
grandma is out of the hospital now, feeling better.
Facebook and friendster ignored.
YYSS drum sec1s are coming tmr!! expecting it.
and i over run with my 5 minute limit.

sleeptime!

NIght pple!!

ONg lAi/ Yu Jun

i'm neglecting my blog

2008-02-15T01:01:00.007+08:00

sorry for the stagnation of my blog entries, been abit held up with life, family, schoolwork and maybe a bit of human nature to be lazy plus all those all-time popular excuses.

however since my sch work do require me to blog abt my communications life, you can take a look and comment on my wordpress blog.

Thank you.

Yu Jun/ ONg LAi

ouch.

2008-01-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

Harlow!

gonna keep this post real short using point form.

i strained my back due to a very ambitious aim of 12 times on(technically under) the 30kg barbell.
i haven done my comms blog for this week, thinking of what to write, no inspiration due to the next post.
ACCOUNTING MID-TERMS IS AT NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT! afraid that the morning person me won't do well (on top of me being so blur with accounting).
a few days back, Perry is named 'strawberry' by me!! start calling him that ya? and i found out he is sensible in a way or two. *wowwww*
Chiong-ing UGC project tmr after the acctg mid-term. procrastinator yu jun hasn't done any research yet. -.-
i'm sore, but then i can't be sorry for myself.
you might be thinking, "wa, he has a mid-term tmr, at this time still dun sleep here to blog, seow one." --- well, i dunno why i had the sudden urge to blog as well, maybe i am emotionally(majority fear and anxiety) challenged. who knows?
so gonna get some rest now.
Night!

YuJun.

a translation of a Chinese quote from Danny Ho Kar Wai, "my love for you is meant for you to be the sole audience, not for others to regard it as a performance." oh well, so true.

school life rocks.

2008-01-21T23:53:00.000+08:00

harlow pple!

in the midst of boring school life going abt, i'm here to share a video with you guys (and gals).

*credits to belson for the link

hmm, although school life is mundane and boring to a certain extend, it seem to especially entertaining today. well, i have the funny videos like the one above to entertain myself, and it is a distraction that i truly enjoy, while forgetting the pent-up and mixed feelings of NS. hmm, i would like to serve the country and enjoy the 2 years of hardship and enjoyment with a bunch of other strangers as a typical Singaporean, however, i realised today that there are certain things i can't let go now. (it sounds like i am dead and can't leave my family and loads of other 'important' stuff right now, hahas for that).

hmm, a few things i can't let go.

1) my studies: i'm kinda worried that my brain might turn even more retard after almost 2 years without touching the syllabus and books. on a brighter tone, my thinking will be more matured and one day get really really good grades. (as if that will happen -.- , i keep telling myself)

2) ZingO performances: well, there's like 3 major breakthrough performances this year, and if i get enlisted too early this year, then i might actually have to miss 2 of these performance. on top of the glory and sense of achievement that i might get from these performances, i actually have a more tangible motivation for the desire to perform at these performances. i want to do these major performances with my "drum cum scouts mates" A.K.A 12 zodiacs(actually 10 left in the performing crew). erm, i might be thinking too much and overestimating my existence in ZingO, but then i see it in a way that the performing crew is shorthanded and the substitutes(if there is) may not be so 'gumm'(on the same frequencies/easy to work with) compared to me. i want to perform for them, and perform for ZingO.

3) ZingO manpower,the time is not ripe yet: just heard from teck wee that Xjw and Djw will be out of NS in March and June next year. so i want to pull through this year so as long to pass YYSS, all the other duties to the right people to do the job, since most of us ZingO pple are near to maximum mobilisation, without teck we,, edvwin, and Zi Ming having to study yet.

yea, that's pretty much of me, looking myself in a light greater than it actually is, overestimating my self-worth. well, idols of the tribe. everyone does that at some points of their lives and this is one of mine.

ok, got to blog at my other blog that is part of the requirement of my Communication course.

till next time then.

ONg LAi

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

2008-01-14T23:34:00.000+08:00

Harlow!

haven been touching my blog for sometime, sorry abt that. when you are busy with the same few stuff that doesn't require you to use the computer cum Internet, you kinda forget that you have a laptop with good connection at home and you neglect your blog and so on so forth. but that won't happen for maybe until April. well, at least i think and hope i have time for both of my blogs, since i have to create a blog on wordpress for my new course, COM101's assignment, and that is to have a communication blog. well, i will come back to the communication blog again later.

from the last post, 5th Jan, til now, more or less 2 weeks, i have been doing 3 main activities; running as a form of exercise, working for my dad and lastly sleeping when i have the time. occasionally, i would go shopping for my new year clothes and maybe help out at a few (the third by tomorrow) CCA orientations at the various schools with festive drums. well, that's kinda boring but then i guess that's pretty much of my holidays. yea, so if you were interested with my holiday life, that's pretty much it.

today is the first day of school , well, i met with 3 of my lecturers and i can say they are pretty different from the previous lecturers, but then, who is completely in this world. out of the 3, 2 of them are from the States and for some weird reasons, maybe they practised hypnotism or really good at monotone speaking, the class environment was kinda like a graveyard with the only priest holding the ceremony, reading the names out from a list. on the perspective that i like quiet studying environment, i might survive the grave studying atmosphere after all. haha.

went to Vivo to get my CNY shopping done, now left with only the shoes. well, gonna get a cheap pair from the nearest BATA store or some lace like that. well, it's not me to get a pair of $100++ leather shoe that i am gg to crack it and soil it with dirt. maybe not now when my income is my allowance. hmm, i spent a lot already, hence, closing the shopping spreed soon.

ok, i'm pretty much tired with everything today, so sleep time. *haha, no school tmr, but then need to get started with my readings anyway. so tmr is gonna be running/working-out and reading day!!

ONg LAi

2008-01-05T00:36:00.001+08:00

Harlow!

this pic, is what happens when you and your sister start to play some childhood(childish) games. remember those bubbles you blow, from a tube, and it won't burst to touch, and you smash it into others face when you are done blowing? yea, that's more of less what is over my head!! for a moment, i felt like the bubble head.

anyway, my muscles are aching still from the weekend training, hopefully, i am maintain this training routine. try my best lar. Sat's training was the start of many things, it was the start of Jan, start of ZingO membership fee collection (you peeps, better bring the money on sat), start of attendance taking, start of Danny's ZingO path and the start of the 6 hour ZingO weekly training. hmm, great start for us heh? haha.

training was like, tough? long hours and physically and mentally demanding. but got to tell myself 4 words and it will be all okay sooner or later, "get used to it." this might be the best advice ever, or the worst. haha.

highlight of the day was the Japanese drum group that performed on the same stage with CCHY. woohoo, the spirit and aura of theirs truly stuns the audience. awesome job, just got to remember their impact on me the next time i go for any performance.

to end off this post, just wanna say that as a friend, being ranked after a gal feels lousy.either that, or i am just thinking too much, hoping too much. nvm that. it's most probably me, and i got to change.

ONg LAi

new skin

2008-01-05T00:36:00.000+08:00

harlow!

changed skin and updated the links. haha, took me sometime, but it's worth it! with the very nice picture greeting you once you come to my blog.. haha. and do listen to the song, it's abit loud, so i didn't put autoplay,but it's nice. refer to the minute lyrics under MISC. haha.

i'm tired, 12 hours of drumming tmr.. haha.

ONg LAi
more energy! sleep first.

2008-01-03T13:42:00.000+08:00

harlow!

apprantly, i'm bored. and this is the result. and countering Mervin's tag as well..

What stereotype do you belong to? Your Result: No stereotype not preppy yet not a complete loser. has good friends and doesn't revolve life around their looks or social status. All around good person. usually liked by everyone
Gamer
Punk
Preppy
Jock
Emo
Loner
geek/nerd
What stereotype do you belong to?

What type of partier are you? Your Result: The Socialite You like only the best liquors, the latest trendy martini's, or the finest single-malt scotch. You are not one for the 'dive bar', you prefer classy lounges filled with model-quality people. When intoxicated, you flirt, but are coy and unattainable, you make your suitors WORK for it.
The Lurker
The designated driver
Bar Social Butterfly
Hardcore drunk
Bar Slut
The rock-star party animal
What type of partier are you? Make Your Own Quiz

"You are 50% Narcissistic"

You have some symptoms of narcissism. You tend to take advantage of others and exaggerate achievements in order to get the praise and attention you rightly deserve.

Are you Narcissistic?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

hope the html codes work out alright and you see red graphs at different lengths rather than the uniform black lines.

ONg LAi

ps, happy birthday puiyee!

woohoo! new year!

2008-01-01T10:59:00.000+08:00

harlow! (using a different opening to mark the new year.)

blogging on the 1st of JAN, which marks my blog's 1st birthday. haha, to think that Nas is 18th already and 2 more days till PY turns 18 years old as well. haha, amazing isn't it, pple call it growing up. poops, all the bubbles of memorable teenage years are gonna float away and then come life. but then there's the other extreme end of birthdays ,those who just turned 17th. well, live life to the fullest,cause time changes everything.

yesterday is the last day of the year 2007, and countdown at Zhen's place isn't really your roller-coaster ride kind of exciting but at least it felt warm. it was just a simple chit chat, playing cards (damn hong yew for winning 'dai dee' EIGHT rounds in a row, until kai xin stopped his lucky streak) and looking at the computer screen for the 10 sec countdown. noting here that Zhen got a fabulous room with the best sound system i ever heard. boopers, i'm kinda envious, next time go steal. haha. joking.

then i was reflecting on the 'special' new year eve. hmm, was questioning myself throughout the evening; why is it that we make such a fuss over this day and behave differently from how we would normally. enjoyment? or rather is it to run away from the 'serious' work we faced during the entire last year? to sum up this syndrome, can i call it festive mood? everyone is happy abt festive mood, i should, but then i only had one foot beyond the line separating normal and festive mood. hmm, maybe i need a pull from the other self,seeing how couples behave.HAH. from my cousin in law, "for two pple to be together is hard due to different upbringing. for two families to be together, that harder." ok, that was random.

this festive mood arise expectation, expecting your other half to ask you out, your friends to countdown with you, your expectation to see the fireworks while being squeezed as well as squeezing others and the expectation of not returning home so early, but you still did. who sets the time as late you think?

haha, great expectation for year 2008!! woohoo. off to work already.

bye bye.

ONg LAi

ps: i'm guessing this post sounds feminine right? whose the benchmark then? comments really disturbs.

ironic approach.

2007-12-30T13:25:00.000+08:00

YO PPle!!

this is really ironic, cause you are seeing me posting after my previous post last night saying that "i will be getting busy(lazy)."

kns. *pls note, if you are not 3 years old and above or not ready for a sicky person complaining abt his life problem-cum-frustrations that cannot be changed/improved/altered, pls stop reading.

and today, waking up is another ironic approach by my mom and dad. erm, i went to sleep early to rest, to skip swimming with edvwin, belson and chun ann, and to get better hopefully, but they started rattling at me around 6am. wth. what happened to the "oh, you are sick, rest(sleep) well, and get well soon!" kinda of attitude you use to treat sick pple, especially me who is sick for one bloody week? oh, mom and dad didn't notice(as usual), fine then. *headache now, which is making me very quick tempered* And now i got to tend the shop, which is not really tough, air-conditioned environment, and fake smiling at all the customers(some are really up in your ass.) ouch, my head.

on top of the busy SUNDAY day, my beloved sister is not here currently, carrying out a workshop for the purposes of meeting one of her long-time-no-see volunteer tuition teacher and earn money when the shop(s) are shorthanded. wait a minute! the shop is always shorthanded, that's why most of my holidays revolve around this farm, that the shops are located, that pays for my school fees, my food, my bills and ensure i look like a normal person on the outside. hmm, can't complain abt this, but wondering why my mum and dad are maintain this low labour cost management style, family style. oops, i said it out already. grr.

on a side note, hend have to 'disturb' me now, just scolded him. ***k off!!! (kwx)

then CMPB smsed me to remind me that i haven completely NS registration.. oh my, it's so complex and tedious. more things added to my Headache. woa, now it has evolved to Splitting Headache. not good -.- i still got a few more section to fill up before 9 of Jan, ok, wishing myself good luck here. NS is not bad right? all the fun(and punishment) can get in the short 22 months with lots of presumably straight men (cause when you fill up the pre-enlistment form, under the medical section, they ask if you have any social problems, e.g. homosexuality) and do a lot of activities together, learn new stuff, live life like never before, blow up some earth and kill some target boards, become female-thirsty in the off balanced yin-yang environment and turn vulgar.

oh my, i rattle so much that my Splitting Headache is getting constant, the part of the graph that you see when all the reactants has reacted and reached maximum status. wondering if my nose will start flushing out bloody mucus again. but the good thing is that my cough is gone (pls dun come back for the next 6 months), my nose is cleared with little amount of fluids flowing out still, i ~~want~~ NEED sleep!

oh my, this time, it would be good for my sister to arrive at the shop and says she will take over my duties from now so i can go rest. -.- my big fat hope. and now there's a uncle in the shop, sitting within 1meter radius of me and speaking loudly over the phone and seriously, messing with my metal processes and making my blood throb harder.

*complains and complains*

and since i think i will be busy(really busy, not lazy) tmr, let's say something for next year.

year 2008!

self: starve your self at school, especially MegaBites food, cause the food does not worth the money, buy a bottle of 1.5L water from Ngee Ann's Cheers and survive on that. exercise more, get lean to attract more girls. enjoy better company. grow taller still. feed myself less.

other self: try to lower standards, try even harder to forget about the past, erase the moral values settled in since young, turn into a jerk/playboy and fall into love recklessly. basically, turn into a flirt, if i got the minimum requirements to do that.. haha, take this paragraph with a pinch of salt.

Studies: while starving self, study for a better grades. the quality of the grades now is sure gonna waste the school fees i am paying right now. make more smart friends, practice more if i have to, live no life, live school life while in school. study from 0700hrs to 1900hrs. pinch of sugar this time. but the truth is A-,B+,B,B,B- is really not good enough.

ZingO: dot dot dot. thinking thru Edvwin's words right. if true, then should all slow learners just pick up a piece of rock and hit themselves in the head until they are dead? even as someone not very religious,i would say that the supreme forces have created pple equally in my point of view, strengths and limitations are equally spread out, the only thing different is time, that's why we do not have the ability of manipulate time. all i wanna say is hang on there, whatever comes, take in in our strive and with a little self conscious, we will pull thru and become the best of best friends til we die. just have to pull things together. why, cause we are part of 不一样的 Boy Band. lol.
and i want more quality pple to join, not pple who just come and quit halfway, pple who can pull thru challenges with us. and want better works. simple wish, but enormous efforts needed to achieve.

for Singapore: pls increase the POSE bank interest rates of about 0.5% to match the very high inflation of abt 3.7% or 3.9% to ensure that your pple get adequate real money to live life properly and not by doing all other not as effective approaches like giving GST offset package to artificially stimulate the economy.it does not work, pple just spend the lump sum away on luxurious items and then cry and swear at the inflation. ok maybe it works to artificially stimulate the economy but it does not help with the inflation much.

for Asia: become a more powerful region than the UK. haha, first get rid of corruption.

for the US: sign the Kyoto Protocol!

for the world: greater efforts to save Earth and those huge magically powerful trees.

ok, me with 3 hours of blogging is getting restless in my sick state.

thanks for reading and thanks for the concern.

ONg LAi
limewire for Santa Vic today.

busy

2007-12-29T21:54:00.000+08:00

yo pple,

keeping this real short before i go knock myself out to get soem more sleep.

the new year is coming soon, which means i will be getting more busy(lazy). so dun be surprised if i dun blog as much.. haha.

thank you.

YuJun.

merry X'mas

2007-12-25T21:37:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

for the past week and especially the recent days, my life revolved around one word, tired.

been trying to run daily, go see performance, BBQ overnight, man, it has taken a toll on me. highest temperature today was 37.6 degree Celsius plus sneezed and coughed out bloody mucus. lethargic feelings all over. physically worn out.

however, all of the busy schedule was worth it. well, apparently the company compensated for the low physical-stability levels. lots of things happened, then lazy to go into the details right now, due to the block nose and sore throat. hmm, personally, just have to remember that i felt like it was the good old CCHY/CCHB days again. thanks to xjw.

rest is essential to repair my body.

ho ho ho ho..

ONg LAi

gg to change blogskin soon. after x'mas.

merry X'mas

2007-12-25T21:37:00.000+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Mixed up feelnigs

2007-12-21T22:48:00.000+08:00

yo pple,

keeping it short by point form.

got my first NS letter, asking me to register with online.
then after much trial and error, finally got it right.
babies have an wonderful power, to make you forget the distressing impacts of the letter.
then the living prove cum 17year old friends are not helping much with the hopes in getting a deferment.
tried to get deferment, but then dunno how to carry on when ask "level of education?", there are no options that goes "Private degree".
going to bombard Ann Sum, my much beloved (especially at this time) course administrator tmr morning,or afternoon.
ok, off to watch anime.
Hend, i hope you are right.
And last but not least, Santa, i want 7 semesters deferment for this X'mas, if it's too hard, i am willing to get the deferment in instalments of 3 semester for annually. lol

YuJun/ONg LAi

the mixed (and pent) up feelings of embracing NS. "santa, i want deferment, pls"

not right.

2007-12-16T00:02:00.000+08:00

yo pple, it's late already, so gonna keep it short.

today is an depressing day.. it started out well with a very enjoyable session of PT, but then the afternoon, after my evaluation in the evening, wasn't as great as i expected it would be.

after viewing "how to get a full body cramp" demonstration by wei ling, and saw the i-just-woke-up-and-live-life-without-me-first side of shi xiong, went to AMK hub for planned, much expected K-box session.

it seems that expectation is the cornerstone to great disappointment, then the cliche phrase comes to mind, the harder you climb, the harder you fall.

K-box is not as enjoyable as the previous session. haiz, not on form today, wo ke yi and wo huai nian de, is disastrous. omFg. what went wrong?

the company, because tony wasn't there? possible, since Janice feels that her singing is lousier than usual. or is it with the training in the morning?

enough of looking at external attributes, what abt internal attributes? my voice, getting worse? i feel that my vocal range is getting narrower, on top of that, it is harder to sing the more emotional songs.. hmm, hav i lost my touch?

in summary, money wasted by bad singing plus shame upon self.

then watch the movie, 'warlords' or something like that (sorry for the causal-ness, focused on the movie but not the title.)

it's a good show, worthy of it's 4.5 out of 5 rating. if you dun mind or even like abit gore, it's a great film. but felt so tired watching the show, very mentally stressful. and physically exhausted by the training in the morning.

*yawns*

tired already, sleep time.

yu jun.

on a side not, some new things i learnt from some pple.

ruo han has a new camera

tracy is close to que

wei ling is akin to a sea monkey in training but a shy cheeky monkey in the midst of
fun.

Recidivism

2007-12-14T22:18:00.000+08:00

Ong Yu Jun
BScBA

UB/SIM
BAC, BAP & BScBA
ESL408 Fall 07’ Class D
Instructor: Mrs. Shirley James
Essay #3: Final Draft

Recidivism

The child who always cries for his toy is a recidivist, criminals who are regulars at the jail are recidivists and the people who vote the same people back into the constituency every five years are recidivists as well! A recidivist can be anyone who has a behavior pattern, but it is more common to spot them only when the behavior in not widely accepted in the society. Recidivism is the repetition of past behavior, more often utilized in the context of criminal acts by law enforcers rather than in the general context concerning habitual patterns that has little recognition especially when the self is involved in recidivism.

Recidivism is the tendency to lapse into previous patterns of behavior. Recidivism occurs almost everywhere in the world; the smoker who has quit smoking but picks up the cigarette once again to ‘de-stress’, the child who wet his bed weeks again after being successfully toilet-trained, the plump lady who cannot keep to her slimming diet and even the alcoholic who just drank 6 pints after he avoided alcohol for the whole of yesterday. Recidivism is like gravity, a force opposing against our upward motion towards our aim of changing undesired behavior. Changing habits, resembles jumping, it requires efforts to occur; but more, if not most, often we revert back to the old habits and are pulled back to our old ways, back into our comfort zones like fishes in water.

Going against recidivism require great effort. It is like going against the current of waves, whereas going along with recidivism is akin to having the winds in the sails- that is the reason countless people are recidivists. When all others are being recidivist in a way or the other, we find it a social norm to be a recidivist with our little habits that do not pose danger or any significant effect to the people around. However, recidivism has a flipside. Recidivism can refer to the repetition of negative behaviors that are socially unacceptable or morally questionable despite training or punishment to discourage the behavior. One example of such negative recidivism can be identified with the criminals and in a sense; they are analogous to polluted water, being contaminated with their crime ways and pose great risk to the others whom they have contact with.

The use of the word ‘recidivism’, especially in the United States, sometimes refers to the criminals who seem to be unable to break away from the life of crime and prison. A measure used by law enforcers called recidivism rates, measures and shows how the number of criminals who repeatedly commit crimes after being released from jail and being imprisoned thereafter. In this manner, the government can observe and evaluate the penal system to improve on the recidivism rates. If the recidivism rate is high, it can mean that the punishment is too light for the crimes and therefore, relevant changes should be made to reduce the recidivism rate. However, the measure does not reveal the willingness of the criminal recidivist to recidivate. Shelving aside those criminals who get a kick from committing crimes and those who prefer to live in the jail as free lodging, criminals generally find it hard to not recidivate. There are several reasons for that. One reason is that the criminals do not posses any skills apart from committing crimes for a living seen more commonly in juvenile cases. Another reason would be that they have are not able to fit back into the society because of their criminal background and sometimes they commit crime for money, for attention or to go back to their comfort zone. These criminals will need education on the life after jail, educating them not to recidivate and landing themselves back in jail. The forces pulling them to revert back into criminal life are too overwhelming for the average criminal to fight single-handedly; what these criminal recidivists need is education, support and reminders for them to break away from the life of a criminal.
There is another branch of society that recidivism has deep impact upon the people in it; the family. Within a family, there are generally two parties; the educators and the learners. The latter, normally the children, are more prone to show acts of recidivism in the family due to their learning stages and to err is the first step to learn under the attention of the parents. On the other hand, parents, who administer punishment or training to their children, are also recidivist at times. Well, it is much debated that physical punishment is not a good way to punish children as the consequences are that the children may grow up to be more aggressive and violent. In the Asian context, parents are encouraged not to spank their children but administer punishment in the non-violent way. Some parents try to use the non-violent method but when the children goes on a tantrum, fight among themselves or just refuse to understand the beckon of the parents, the cane is drawn out and recidivism occurs. Being brought up in the ‘violent’ parenting style, parents are deeply rooted in this style and like plants, shifting by self will is not possible. Unless an external party slowly conditions the parents, uprooting them with much patience and hard work, like digging the soil around the roots of the plant, to ensure that the change of environment does not kill the plant but allow it to be able to grow better then the current situation.

Recidivism is a widely seen behavior and going against it require immerse efforts as it means stepping out of one’s comfort zone of past behavior into a new unfamiliar environment with new practices and slipping back to the previous environment is effortless. People hardly acknowledge themselves as recidivists and hence do not make the extra efforts to break away from the negative and unwanted behavior. People revolve around recidivism and identifying the forces of recidivism helps in improving, modeling a better person.

***

A-minus standards.

just for HAHs

2007-12-13T16:42:00.000+08:00

Yo PPle.

spent a lazy afternoon preparing for saturday..

haha. leave that for saturday..

and miss Ong KAiix xin, dun be so vulgar and i admit the following is funny.. so is yours. HAH

Ten Top Trivia Tips about ONg LAI!

Czar Paul I banished ONg LAI to Siberia for marching out of step.
Ostriches stick their heads in ONg LAI not to hide but to look for water.
A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and ONg LAI.
Bananas don't grow on trees - they grow on ONg LAI!
ONg LAI has four noses.
It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same ONg LAI!
More people are killed by ONg LAI each year than die in aeroplane accidents.
The air around ONg LAI is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun.
ONg LAI has a memory span of three seconds.
It took ONg LAI 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl
" method="get" style="background-color:#5F5F42;color:#CFCF95;padding:4px;text-align:center">I am interested in - do tell me about

ok, you have your HAHs.

go back to what you were doing.

lol

ONg LAi

2007-12-12T16:20:00.000+08:00

it, is the star.

he, comes into the light.

moving his fingers to flex and quickly force the palms together as if he was clapping for it. but the sound did not come out just right. it was muffered because his palms were still together. They looked at him, and look at it, and in slience,wondering who will make the next move.
for the next few moments, he went thru the steps in his mind, from start to the end, planning was important for him. he breathe in, and then breathe out almost just as sliently as the muffered clap.

they looked at him more with more focus, wondering if he was going to give up and it was going to move. then, he made the first move. the first interaction with it.

he slowly spread his palms apart, slowly, slowly. once he was sastified with the distance between the two arms, he swung them forward, as if a fisherman casting his net. after he made some circles with his hand, he stopped, and pull back his arms. it moved.

it stood up, on it's legs and turned to face them. then it fell face down. he was shocked by it and let his arms go loose, swinging from his shoulders as thou he has lose control over his arms and it was only hanging from his shoulders. but it was not as how they seen it. he just wanted a rest, it has strain his arms.

it lay on the stage.

he raised his arms and move his fingers as if playing the piano. they were waiting to hear the music from the speakers, but no sound were heard from the speakers but from the drums, hidden in the darkness of the stage. he moved a step back and try moving his fingers. the stage is slowly lit up and the sound from the drums has slowly evolved into a pulsing rhythm that caught their attention over it.

he walked towards it, picked it up and went to the backstage.

Valentine roses

2007-12-11T00:51:00.000+08:00

Yo PPle!

new blogskin to switch to a more relaxing mood.

the weather been really bad. On top of that, family business pressure is being activated with the official notice of my 5 week holidays isn't helping. shall not talk about these too much. just gonna say that it is plain depressing.

then received an email from Shi Ting, my college friend. although not considered close, it doesn't matter since i am generally not close with my uni friends anyway, she emailed me a very smooth essay, and i think we can share it in the festive season and in preparation for the love season in Feb.

Valentine roses

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose.  And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows.  The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door.  The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say,  "I love you even more this year, than last year on this day."  "My love for you will always grow, with every passing year."  She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day.  Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away.  He always liked to do things early, way before the time.  Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase.  Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face.  She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair.  While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate.  With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate.  Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before,  The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock.  Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop.  The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain,  Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago,"  The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know."  "The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance."  "Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance.""There is a standing order, that I have on file down here,  And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year.  There also is another thing, that I think you should know,  He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."

"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here,  That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year."  She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.  Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note.  Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote...  "Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone,  I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real.  For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel.  The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life.  I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."
"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need.  I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve.  I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears.  That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."
"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness,  That we had together, and how both of us were blessed.  I have always loved you and I know I always will.  But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."
"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days.  I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways.  The roses will come every year, and they will only stop,  When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."
"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out.  But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt,  To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him,  And place the roses where we are, together once again." - anonymous

touching heh? for me, it was more of the smooth and fluent writing that attracted much of my attention rather that the storyline although credit have to go to the storyline for the impact of the essay.

ok, it's late. got to sleep.

Night!

YuJun
"fa~la~la~la~la~la la~la~la~la"

on a side note, pple are trying to get many things for X'mas by playing santa.

"ONg LAi says:
i want cash for x'mas, santa vic!

santa vic says:
u gotta sit on my lap

santa vic says:
and go down on me"

hope victor is not gh3y. lol

2007-12-05T22:05:00.002+08:00

chop this off elvina ah yi's blog.

What's Your Best Quality? Your Result: Personality Your best quality is your personality! People like you because you are an all around good person. You have good manners and values. You also like to express your personal style and interests.
Ambitious
Sense of Humor
Intelligence
Out-Going
Loving
What's" Your Best Quality? Take More Quizzes

erm.. either the quiz is inaccurate and ironically for me, or my other traits are worse than my personality.

Yu Jun

yea, course registrations!

2007-12-05T22:05:00.001+08:00

yo pple!

look at this!!

i know, i know, you are lost, but then, for me, it is good news!! these are the classes that i chose and successfully got enrolled in.

after a 40 minute struggle with the SIM network and with my computer's 'f5' key being clicked on every 3 seconds, this is the final results: NO CLASSES ON TUESDAY AND FRIDAY!
thank you 'F5' !

however, 5 minutes of elation is followed by this,,, *sobs*

you may not see it carefully, this is the text which is written in the photo.

"Class Selection Update - Nov 6, 2007
Dear all,We continue to experience problems with our server and will have to stop all selection activities immediately. We will resume this exercise tomorrow (Dec 7) at 5pm. Sincere apologies for the delay.

Neo Beng Tong Principal Academic Advisor "

oh my.. what a waste of time and efforts.

awaiting for another round of struggle tmrw.

YuJun.
ps. this post was written with the first half not knowing the stupid cork up.

wo ke yi

2007-12-05T22:05:00.000+08:00

Yo pple!

i'm still sick if you are concerned.. lol

my grandma was feeling giddy after dinner this evening, which made me worried abt her and realised the fragile-ness of life.. and i got the same feeling that her days are numbered again for the past few weeks. hopefully i am wrong.

then been obsessed with this song lately, not that it is new but then the tune get played in my head more often then ever recently. so went to youtube to get this MTV.

ENJOY!!

YuJun.
weak body accompanied by weak spirit.

Exams

2007-12-03T20:40:00.000+08:00

Yo PPle.

the Finals exams are finally here and i am recidivist again.. to help you understand that word, i will be posting my definition essay based on that word some other days..cause the soft copy is in my thumbdrive, not in the computer, and it is with hiu tung, awaiting to be filled with songs.. oh my, how i miss ESL408 already.

anyway, trying to absorb all the advices from those who commented on my previous post.. it's hard to piece everything like a perfect puzzle, so i let time do the bigger part of the job. on a side note, i am deem as petty and an obnoxiously conceited person. nvm that.

some personality trails to be changed.

1) Do not treat the pretty little boys as friends, else they think of me as gay or even pedophile.

2) talk less, the less i talk, the less trouble i will get into right? and the involvement with otheres reduces and hence expectations will greatly reduce.

3) Psychoanalysis myself. plus self-conginitive therapy.

n) [to be thought some other time].

and birthday celebrations at KFC is like one of a kind but the positive effects of the company around overspill the not-so-good environment.

here's one pic from the birthday celebration of Julie, Zhen and Sarah, taken with kaii.

what big hands we have! all for the buddy meal!

hey, dun let your thoughts run wild, we are "buddies".. for $10.95.

lol

and today, i did a very weird thing. on my way from KAP to SIM, i saw some ignited sawdust, with the ignition starting from a burning cigarette butt. then i just kicked the burnt areas, thinking that it will cause the combustion to cease. then when i walked past the same place on my way to take the bus home, i saw more areas burning.. oops, i was spreading the combustion. what a mistake. then the normal me would just walked away and went to take the bus home, however, i went to Cold Storage to buy 3 litres of water and went back to that area to put out the combustion. didn't even know why i did that. but curse the guy or gal who threw the cigarette butt on the sawdust. i reckon some of the plants there might be unable to survive since they were being overheated.

anyway, it's the exams time and i am sick, feeling damn heaty in the throat and nose. hope i can survive the exams in the state and hope that the unwellness won't evolve into a more powerful state.

haiz, off to get some off-the-counter-medicine.

nights pple!

ONg LAi/YuJun
ps. i think i am gg to flunk my PSY101.

Detested Personality.

2007-11-23T15:08:00.001+08:00

Yo PPLE!

ZingO Recruitment Drive 2007 has finally come to an end, and there is not more reason for me to run away from revising for the Final Exams. So, Revise Hard, ONg.

only lately, perhaps this evening, i discovered that me, myself, is not up to a certain standard. you ask me, how do i define this standards? i would say read on and try to use your own standard as a bench mark.

apart from the family factor, which scope can be so extensive that i won't be able to go thru every one's family background, there are the all different aspects of life.

let's start with the main reason why i am not happy with myself. can i ask you a every close-ended question, " if you are sitting at a table of pple and i am in your 'conversationable' range, in other words, will you talk to me voluntarily?"

Well, maybe there will be the "hello! Whats up?!" greeting, but what happens next, blanks stares and followed by changing another subject(person) talk to. Well, you get my point right?? I DON'T HAVE THE X-FACTOR for people to continue holding a conversation with me.

this is how it went, on the 24th evening , there was a movie with the usual gang plus the seniors, Da Vin, Ed and Kel. then when we met up and went from watching a movie to pool session, i felt left out in all the talks and fun that Night creates. it begun with the seniors asking where all of us(or rather the others) are studying, CA at UB/SIM, Teck Wee after O levels, Ruo Han in TP, in the seniors' Salvo (felt a prick in the neck when hearing that comment) and finally, belson in Sim Mei ITE.

just to reassure, i am not jealous with Belson and the others !! ok maybe a little.. but for me, the problem lies with myself i think.

the night went by, while walking, while playing pool, i was treated as if i was an stranger while the others were closer to the seniors than me. for example, playing pool with Edmund, we didn't even talk thru the game while tw and ca had a lot to converse about.

on the way back, i was thinking why this happened. then flashbacks came along to rub salt into my 4 inch deep wound. from the past til now, there is always a pattern, of how i interacted with people; having much to talk abt for a brief period and losing close contact forever from then. ponders and ponders, then this easily saturated point situation does not applies to interaction with people only, but also in all the other aspects of my life.

picking up of skill, learn the basics moderately fast enough but then when to learn further and more, it is as if my capacity to learn is at the saturation point.

then leading me to think that, even the usage of myself from others point of view is the same. at first, i am pretty much easy to use for the everyday task, then at the next stage, people slowly find me unable to cope their demands anymore and then push me aside.

so, is there a problem with my intrapersonal?? is there something wrong with my personality that i had not observed?

or had i created a self-fulfilling prophecy situation? have i behaved in such a way to deserve this treatment from others? some people used to sit around me during lectures, i would talk to them before or after the class, but absolutely not during the lecture. then after a few lectures, they will drift away, finding other classmates to chatter during the lecture. then me, being attentive in class, abstaining from talking to them. does this act makes me boring and having an unattractive personality? knowing that this kind of things will happen, i ignore them and try to be myself. there after, i think that they are chatter boxes and if they want to behave this way, it's not my fault, so let them be. but now, looking back, have i behaved in the way that increased the possibility of them associating me with an detested personality?

these questions won't get out of my mind and because one question leads to another, my mind is filled with questions that i constantly ask myself but dun get any answers. it taxes my mind and somehow, drinking Merlot from the bottle makes me fall asleep and push these questions into the sleepyard.

can i get answers from within? knowing that my defense mechanism, esp rationalisation and sublimation, will be able to counter all answers i get externally..

Kinda depressed and repressed.

is it because of this that it hurts to hear Ruo Han say 'ty' always?

but on a side note, all the participants for the ZingO recruitment drive are successfully accepted, that means more chances to play with weiling(muhahahahaha) but the are still work that i have to do, to make this Recruitment more fruitful.

YuJun / ONg LAi

BBQs are just too troublesome, especially without a car. what incentives are there for me to organise the BBQ this year? omg, one more question in my mind, whiskey pls!!

pukes

2007-11-23T15:08:00.000+08:00

Yo PPle!!

study week has begun.. so slacking at home..

wait a minute, i am not slacking.. have been sorting out the papers for ZingO and editing them.. now, looking at those papers, i feel like puking.. so worn out..

gg to make a few calls to some people and then make some very important calls. well..

time is running out!!

haha

hope tmrw's recruitment will be fruitful, won't be cheap ,and successful.

*pukes*,
YuJun

Holidays!! but work first...

2007-11-18T13:28:00.000+08:00

Hello PPle!!

ZingO registration is closed!! thank you all for registering.

meaning that the preparation work is halfway done.. now, focusing on the internal preparation work that is condensed from 2weeks to 5 days.. yea. what great news..

"these few weeks is very busy, got alot of projects and assignment. you can't blame anyone for this"

then better not blame me for the recruitment being a success or failure..remembering that i have my fair share of projects and assignments to do.. it seems that my words lack respect, rather than power(due to the strong opposition to the fallacy which i conjured unknowingly)..

After the Recruitment, it will be the ZingO End-Of-Year Chalet with the current ZingO-ians and the freshies from the ZingO recruitment le!! Yea!!!

hope things can fall into places as i plan and not compressed nor condensed..

and i am experiencing K-box Absence Syndromes (eg, humming/singing a tune not knowingly, downloading the hottest K songs, learning new songs to sing in K-box).. I want go K-box!!!!

but all that will have to wait until 3 weeks later..

Fall Semester is gg to end in 3 weeks time, with the final exams coming to crush me with the recidivist dwelling under the skin.. After that, HOLIDAYS! shouldn't be too happy with the holiday with respect to the results thou..

i dun like online assignments, especially questions involving Business calculus!! flunk the recent test again.. so out of the 20% my final MTH131 grade, i am gg to get 12.5% out of the 20%.. bye bye to A grade and A- grade.

then i have a habit to avoid doing the research paper.. so til now, all the references and citation is wrong, and my second draft is not out yet with the dateline on Tuesday.. haiz. sometime in my life, i will control this recidivism..

ok, off to work.

YuJun/ONg LAi
recidivism, Recruitment, Holidays, Chalet, performances.

LAST 5 days

2007-11-12T22:03:00.000+08:00

ATTENTION TO PEOPLE INTERESTED IN JOINING ZINGO

5 more days before the recruitment registration closes, act fast if you have not!!
do take note of the previous post of you are interested to register but dunno how
for those who are interested, BUT unable to make it on that day due to some very very very very very valid reason for not being able to turn up on that day, pls contact me, let me know, let ZingO judge if your reason is valid and if we are able to have a make up session for you. :]

on a side note, ZingO is getting more excited by the recruitment already!! however, if the responses can be greater, we will get more excited!! with rational thinking, do consider joining us and be part of our team.

Yu Jun

onglai1990@hotmail.com

yujunong@gmail.com

ZingO Recruitment Drive 2007

2007-11-08T20:06:00.001+08:00

ATTENTION TO INTERESTED ZINGO-MEMBERS-TO-BE!!!

Well, as you may or may not know, ZingO recruitment drive is on!!!

It will be on the 24th of Nov (Saturday) and will be held at Chung Cheng High School (Yishun). I will let you know of the other details in the reply email.

Some minimum requirements:

(I can't possibly list it all down)

-*at least 14 years of age or secondary 2 of education; which ever is higher*

-interest in ZingO and willing to commit in ZingO
-physically able
-positive attitude and personality
-looks pleasant to the eyes(we are performers after all)

I will need to submit a list of the participants to the principal of CCHY by the 17th of Nov. Interested parties, *pls contact me through email as a form of registration before the 17th with the subject as 'ZingO recruitment 2007' follow by your full name.*

Send it to either of the following emailing addresses will do:

onglai1990@hotmail.com
yujunong@gmail.com

Pls include the following information in the email you will be sending to me:
-Name
-age
-gender
-NRIC number
-School (current/latest)
[Note: please send the email on your own behalf. ]

Hope to see you there!!

Yu Jun
ZingO (Welfare)
(*changes made, do take note)

mind over matter?

2007-10-31T23:47:00.002+08:00

Yo PPle.

as you may have noticed, my previous was kind of a lengthy piece which earned some some response from djw and Pui Yee.

addressing pui yee first: thank for the compliment!! will work harder to improve more, yea, i do not have to bear you commemting on my lousy English anymore. and meet up soon for coffee, rmb the big glass jar and 2 cups of coffee.

next, djw.

"djw: ong u seem realli lost .. lol .. every1 will have their own stress .. remember tat .. not onli u .. but everything is in ur mind .. u wan to overcome stress den 1st overcome ur mind .. =)" -- djw

the reasons he is able to understand what i mean were 1) he is having a 1 month holiday from NS due to his ribcage. 2) he came and watched the performance on the 2nd of Nov and 3) he knows about the ZingO recruitment.

adapting the idea from Mark Twain, "it is a mind and matter issue, if you do not mind, it does not matter". in this quote, it refers to the things that affects you. djw was used this idea and referring to the stress that i noted in my previous post.

since i read the tag, i had 2 questions in my mind.

1) if i do not mind, will i still be in ZingO and will i feel satisfied?

ok, really hits and i cannot totally ignore the happenings in my life. so the second question came to mind.

2) at which angle should i try to slant my point of view to achieve the "don't mind yet doesn't matter goal?"

really, thinking over this question makes me rack my brain; i can sit in lectures and block out the lecturer's words and think over this question, i can sit in the bus and miss a stop (just happened this morning) all because of this question. then i still have not been able to answer the question. however, i do know that i want ZingO to grow and i am going to do my best and not let others get in my way. it not stress that makes me feel so discourage but other factors( i think i can handle stress quite well you see)..

aiyaa ,look at the time.

can't blog anymore, will continue next time..

off to do prepare for ZingO recruitment.

bb

Yu Jun

helpless

2007-10-31T23:47:00.001+08:00

won't it be great if we can choose when we want ot live in? as in travelling thu time to go back or forth to live your life again or like never before?

if i can do that, i will go back to secondary 2 and repeat that time period again and again. despite the fact that i was an much hatred figure in sec school back then, i still managed to find much fun practicing drums.

life was pretty much simple then. there's no ZingO to worry about, dun have to put in alot of efforts to try to make a change in ZingO but still achieve no results, no essays to write, no ass kissing, no calculus,etc, etc.

life now is stressful. according to the physician Hans Selye, stressed is the nonspecific response of the body to any demand made upon it. (yes, i am being technical, but this is my blog isn't it?)

then i asked my self, am i really stressed with demands?

of course i am!
Demanded by the school to give efforts to do work and study for the exams.
Demanded by the instructors to finish tonnes of work that seem to be due all together.
Demanded by ZingO to trigger improvements, which just seem to be ever so hard to do so.
Demanded by ZingO people to be able to handle internal relations well.
Demanded by my family to be the good boy at home, to do the chores, accompany my grandma, to help out at the shop in the weekends and holidays, to come home early and to be successful.
Demanded by dynamics between logic and desire and constantly telling myself that my life is too preoccupied to be taking care and thinking of another person for ages.
Demanded by the list of demands that just seem to be never ending.

i understand that relations are just like clouds; they form upon fate, and they will have to disperse or cause rain one day or another but why does it seem so hard to keep ourselves light without the burden of unnecessary involvements?

why must we humans always think that we are capable to the extend that we lose control like creating a dam that one day will drown us off?

from Jake, the walking reminder that i have to face NS in my course of studies, "when we get closer to light, the stronger we get to the shadows."

dunno why, Tanya Chua's songs seem to hit me in the heart deeply.

and the theme music for the movie ' lust' broadcasting from YES933 right now.

time flies and amidst time, how do we actually make this time worth living for? worth to remember? through arguments or stagnantation or even recidivism?

then i ask, so you want to improve or recidivate? tell me truthfully or else keep your mouth to yourself.

one observation i made is that people who are the only child in the family, tend to be more selfish and throw tantrums as there were brought up, "king of the family". no wonder we switch to governments rather than kingships.

knowing these little things about people really helps,as in you can predict the responses from people and understanding the rational behind that behaviour which sometimes can rack the brains out, especially to self.

told belson earlier that i just felt lost after reading a mail reply to a lot of people, actually, i felt helpless. to share with you, i fear of being helpless to things happening arond me, helpless as time tick seconds by seconds away and our life and essence in living might be wasted.

i want ZingO members to be with ZingO. i dun want to lose another comrade to others. pls make sure you come back, if you are lost, find your way back.

ONg LAi

helpless to the change in hearts.

Shi xiong's birthday.

2007-10-31T23:47:00.000+08:00

YO pple,

taking a breather here while printing my notes of the lectures and papers for the projects..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO JAMIE SUSIE THOMAS AND ZINGO FOUNDER, ROCH ONG CHEE HAU!!

what great birthdays they have, HAPPY HALOWEEN! as well..

then just now went to causeway point with shi xiong.there was 7pple (for the dunno how many times) present including the old birthday man.. pssss, teck wee, you are not supposed to know who was there..

it was meant to be our treat and instead, shi xiong paid for the meal again. it totally dampened the birthday spirit. we specially met up to treat him an d this is wat happened?! !@#$%!@#$%^&*

from a birthday celebration, it turned out to be akin to the normal treats he would give us when we spend dinnertime with him.. unless he feels damn blissed/happy/good treating us to dinner, we felt failure in this birthday celebrations. why did things have to turn out this way??

then went home straight after dinner due to the dampened atmosphere.

so depressing to fail in organising an event..

YuJun

ZINGO-IANS! PLS GO READ MY REPLY TO THE ANNOUCEMENT CREATED BY CHUN ANN REGARDING THE ZINGO RECUITEMENT DRIVE! READ CAREFULLY AND THINK DEEP. THANKS.

2007-10-26T01:13:00.000+08:00

sometimes love makes you hurt like nothing else in the entire world. This usually comes in the form of loss or rejection. More often than not, loss is a part of loving. Losing the love of someone you care deeply for is sometimes like a glass splinter working its way to your heart. It’s a slow, deep sort of alternating pain and numbness which no one else not in your position, just does not seem to understand. As Neil Gaiman so succinctly wrote in his comic book novel series, "It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt, a body hurt, a real gets inside you and rips you apart pain." -- Leong Wan

quick post before i get back to work.. it's past one already.. perhaps i am not gg to sleep at all.

YuJun

status: slacking between the 4.5 hour break

2007-10-23T13:19:00.000+08:00

YO pple!

blogging on SX laptop now..

well, it is the midst of the 4.5 hour break.. and kim ROBBED me of my PSP to play.. hence, i am here to kill time..

this two weeks will be project week.. loads of prjects on hand now.. psychological project, macroeconomics article evalution, world history essay, calculus online test 3 and essay 3, definition.. so kinda busy.. shouldn't be slacking now but i am.. haha

so won't be posting much unless such a convenient chance knocks on my brain-step again.

okok.. gg to do my econs le..

but before that, let me remind myself that GREEN TEA FRAPPE IS NOT THE FUEL TO POWER MY BRAIN TO WORK!

YuJun

recessions of my blog & birthday's celebrations.

2007-10-21T19:02:00.000+08:00

Yo PPLe!

as you may have noticed, my blog isn 't doing very well for the past week. However, before last week, it was a boom! almost posting daily and this week is kinda of dead.. well, it's normal, i would say it is the ' business cycle'.. thou the period is very short.. lol

anyway, the past week passed by quite fast. the clocks in the school seem to be ticking time away faster in my point of view. too much projects and assignments.. i know this sounds lame ,

but I WILL SURVIVE!

okok, thay was some reassurance for myself.

and sort of motivation.

and talking with jie min while composing this post, this was what we said.

"chunruktur says:
how have u been doing?

mature thinking affects my looks. "dude, i thought you were 23!" -.- says:
erm ok ok lor

mature thinking affects my looks. "dude, i thought you were 23!" -.- says:
got a damn lot of work on hand now.

chunruktur says:
hahas

chunruktur says:
is like tt de luhs

chunruktur says:
lols

mature thinking affects my looks. "dude, i thought you were 23!" -.- says:
then very lazy, tired and not motivated plus no inspiration to study.

mature thinking affects my looks. "dude, i thought you were 23!" -.- says:
lol.

chunruktur says:
but cant like tt eh

mature thinking affects my looks. "dude, i thought you were 23!" -.- says:
lol

chunruktur says:
we must have a good cert to secure our future

mature thinking affects my looks. "dude, i thought you were 23!" -.- says:
it was me telling you that de

mature thinking affects my looks. "dude, i thought you were 23!" -.- says:
now it's your turn to consel me seh.

mature thinking affects my looks. "dude, i thought you were 23!" -.- says:
haha

chunruktur says:
hahahas

chunruktur says:
fair mah

chunruktur says:
lols

mature thinking affects my looks. "dude, i thought you were 23!" -.- says:
wth..

mature thinking affects my looks. "dude, i thought you were 23!" -.- says:
-.-"
ok, jie min.. i will not slack and work hard..

okok, for the past week, i did a very serious mistake.

I FORGOTTEN HIU TUNG'S BIRTHDAY. I was very guilt-ridden.

to make myself feel better, i attended his 'birthday celebrations' with 269(chun ann, vincent, tony, eugene and samuel) with ruo han and i as the extras, on the Friday. we bumbed into 2 other birthday celebrarions btw.

i apprantly overslept and was late along with Vincent. man, he's getting more suave and hot. oops. then because of tony's request, we ate Seoul Garden at Marina Square. We ate lots of chicken meat and cake served by the Seoul Garden staff (they were so nice to sing tony the birthsay song).

meanwhile enjoying the 'old school flashbacks', it was a mental torture as well. it was like everytime there was something being mentioned, i was inevitablely reminded of my past in sceondary sch life.

followed by dinner was a walk on the top of the esplande, which obviously was a great place for couples to hang out. hance, i took my mind off the sec sch issue to participate in the peeking of the couples intimitating acts. lol. it was fun for us but not so for the couples ba.. hahah

after embrassing ourselves enough, we found ourselves at a very schecluded part of town. then more past memories flowed back to my mind to push the night's atmosphere to a new low for me. avoided the continued episode of the "old school flashbacks" then went home by the MRT and i did something i hadn't done for sometime.

pretending to be a smart alex.

haix, won't go into details, but those who know wat i mean, so sorry. feels so stupid whenever i recall that..

anyway, a quote to summarize my night's experience,

"Instead of feeling alone in a group, why not feel myself in my own solitude?"

ONg LAi

sorry feelings

2007-10-15T22:00:00.000+08:00

yo pple

today is a fresh week and the end of ngee ann poly student's holiday. one word, HAH.

then got back some of the grades of the mid-term papers.

i got only a B+ overall for my maths grade til now. so sad, it's not even an A.

Haiz, undergoing a mid-tern crisis now.. two words, work harder.

the due to the disappointing grades of MTH131, i went on a binge and then my brain lagged. so this was what happened.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

me: "kim, ice-cream, chocolate, banana and cookie~~ come on, my treat for your birthday gift!!"

Kim(grabs wallet and phone): "ok"

[while walking, i asked her abt some words in Korean. well, to keep me mind off the results.]

[after getting Ice cream]

Kim(stone in front of the auntie] : ".................."

Me: " pay leh, kim, why you so blur?!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it was supposed to be my treat. so sorry now. lucky she say she will let me make it up to her.. heng ar..

then talking to Mervin til now. seems like i am gg to eat at the SP.. HAH.

ok, need to sleep to replenish my energy.

some quick replies to my tag box..

Tracy and illi: my tag box is kinda like your conversation box now -.-
feimin: dun be sorry, somethings can't be helped..

YuJun
ps, my midterm got only a 86/100 and the overall is 83.6% ONLY! sad.

100th post!

2007-10-13T23:23:00.000+08:00

Yo People!

well, if you are seeing this post,it's my 100th post!!!

well. actually it's nth much lar, so not going to harp at this nonsensical topic.

went to see the movie "The Drummer" today with the usual people at the usual place, AMK hub after practice and lunch.

not gg to tell the whole story out although it is actually quite simple.

"drummer" is kinda like an artistic show, the pace of the movie tells you that and the scenes is another characteristic of the art film kinda thingy. but the pace links to the story, so i consider it ok.

however, while watching the starting of the movie, i think of the word "shallow woman" whenever the female actress's name is being said. basically, she is a sex toy for the men, having good looks, no brains(maybe can't even spell, HAH), afraid of power and not willing to stand up for the love the male lead had for her. oops, she didn't had love for him, which is why, oh well. BIMBO~~

then the love or lust made that guy crazy. then slowly bits and scenes of that female actress lead to one conclusion, leave this kind of woman alone, for she can destroy you.

ok, enough of complaining. oh ya, there's another thing i learnt today.

remember those scenes you see on TV where the roles always tell the one, who drinks to end the sorrows/frustrations, that "drinking will nto solve anything?"

well, i can tell you that's very much true.

after a few+++ cups of Martel corden blue (on the rock), the frustrations is still there within me. and then 40% is getting to be no kick for me le, oh no, what to do, it is getting increasing harder for me to get drunk le.. my my.

at least i know it is kinda hard to get me drunk to do irrational stuff. that's a plus point i think. HAH

okok, got to sleep le..

tmrw K-box got promotion!! sry to ruo han, tony and janice. got to work.. cannot go to K with you guys.. haiz, chalets.

bye bye.

YuJun/ONg LAi

"drumming is not just drumming, it leaves the beats in your heart, becoming your heartbeat."

song post.

2007-10-12T15:01:00.000+08:00

YO PPle!!

this post will be on songs!! hope can gather the stuff that i need to do so..

first up,

哲學家 by 范瑋琪

well. you are probably hearing the song right now since i set the code to be auto play(not after i reset the code to be play only when you click). it is kinda new and i am promoting it, very nice. the songs in this album 哲學家 are all very nice, but then this song has a very nice feel to it that makes you wanna dance but then not as noisy like those dance songs.

from movie " music and lyrics" , 'the melody you hear is like when you see a person, his/her appearance, the lyrics is who the person really is.'

so here's the lyrics!! if only we can go online and start knowing people better like a song.

哲学家演唱：范玮琪
专辑：哲学家
作曲：Lisa

如果爱是道北极光
如果我可以睡在沙滩
如果我变成小孩如果
如果　如果真的那麼难
没有人很了解我吧　我是这麼想
我希望要的生活　谁说了才算

我想我是一个哲学家可以赞助孤单的家乡
不要人问　不要人猜　不要人一直管
不需要说　不需要听　不需要那麼忙

如果我是一个哲学家
忘了一个心中的名字有多难
看一本书　走一段路　逛一个美术馆
听一首歌　过一条河　喝一碗酸梅汤

在这一秒　扮演一个爱情的自由国王
左想右想　世界原来那麼不一样

於是我看见了海浪
於是我前往一个机场
於是有好几小时慢慢慢慢忘了什麼烦
时间它停止了吗我想想未来
我想我也出一个大约的模样

我想我是一个哲学家可以赞助孤单的家乡
不要人问　不要人猜　不要人一直管
不需要说　不需要听　不需要那麼忙
如果我是一个哲学家忘了一个心中的名字有多难看
一本书　走一段路　逛一个美术馆
听一首歌过一条河　喝一碗酸梅汤

一个哲学家
一个一个哲学家

我想我是一个哲学家
可以赞助孤单的家乡
不要人问　不要人猜　不要人一直管
不需要说　不需要听　不需要
那麼忙如果我是一个哲学家
忘了一个心中的名字有多难
看一本书　走一段路　逛一个美术馆
听一首歌　过一条河　喝一碗酸梅汤

不要人问　不要人猜　不要人一直管
不需要说　不需要听　不需要那麼忙

Second Song

王:你是我心内的一首歌
王:心间开启花一朵
s:你是我生命的一首歌
s:想念汇成一条河
王:点在我心内的一首歌
王:不要只是个过客
s:在我生命留下一首歌
s:不论结局会如何

合:好想问你
合:对我到底有没有动心
合:沉默太久
s:只会让我不小心犯错
王:不小心犯错

s:点在我心内的一首歌
s:不要只是个过客
王:在我生命留下一首歌
王:不论结局会如何

合:你是我心内的一首歌
合:心间开启花一朵
合:你是我生命的一首歌
s:想念汇成一条河
王:想念汇成一条河

s:好想问你
王:好想问你
s:对我到底有没有动心
王:对我到底有没有动心
s:沉默太久
王:沉默太久
s:只会让我不小心犯错
王:不小心犯错

合:点在我心内的一首歌
合:不要只是个过客
合:在我生命留下一首歌
合:不论结局会如何

OK, two for today, pls take so time to look at the lyrics if you understand. took me to get the spacing and paragraph correct.

YuJun

Enlye ONg or Enili ONg

Que, dun be cpoycat!!

Quizzes and personality tests!!

2007-10-10T21:11:00.001+08:00

YO pPLe!

from time to time, there is always this urge to do personality tests.

so after i saw julie's blog some time ago, i did the test and kept it somewhere in my computer until now. so, know me better. well, it is quite true.

Get to know yourself better

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you meet that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:
You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

What's your personality love style?

Here is the analysis:
You desire a love that will last forever. You are quite serious about finding this type of love, and that's why you think carefully about the men that you meet before deciding whether you could really love them. You don't just develop a crush on someone overnight: you look at a person's personality and other aspects of their life before deciding to form an attachment. If a guy doesn't meet your expectations, you would rather be alone. Your love has to be perfect. Be careful though, you could be missing out on some worthy relationships because your standards are so high.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test80.aspx?q=b

What type of personality do you have?

Here is the analysis:
Kind and Gentle
Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test79.aspx

haha that's it for now..

so good night then, just came home from the 'thank you party' by heritage fest. beat up walking around with Terrie and li wen. tmrw still having my English mid terms.

NIght!!

Yu Jun
Enlil or Enlye?

tracy, definitely not Wayne, it rhythm with gay.
illi. your URL does not seem to function. re tag pls. then i relink.

new version of beng HairCut

2007-10-10T21:11:00.000+08:00

YO PPle

when i am in the dumps of life, there are some things to make me feel better, most of the time.

- friends.

well, a loner's life still have some friends coming into his life, making a difference, from time to time.

there is li wen who is the sunshine gal in our so-called university clique. she is very talkative, approaching and approachable, seventeen, have a thing for guys who have manly hair and big pacs and prasie othe guys and gals for small favours time to time. well, she showed me the sms she sent to the other yujun she knows and to be frank, it's the first time i sense such a sincere and sweet comment.

there is Zi Ming, the snake in ZingO whose words are loose as his bones. well, as a result of that, he tells the truth and he assured me that he will come back to ZingO. oh goodie, a big rock off my heart.

and lastly there is ruo han and tony. they are like my bestie in ZingO, always there to offer help in life.

those who are not mentioned, you know who you are, i just dun want you to be beaten up if i say your name. A-HA A-HA A-HA A-HA A-HA A-HA A-HA

friends, they are able to give me more mental support than some other kind of pple closer to you. hah.

-the hairstylist at 2K Hair Salon BLK123 Yishun Ring Road.

it is kind of a small shop in the neighbourhood, however, he does really nice haircuts, been going there since my secondary school days. somehow magically, i always feel better after a hair cut and today, i felt a hell lot better then yesterday.

this is my new haircut. those black lines are drawn on. the other side also have lines, but this side of the head is better. all that is missing is a earstud to make me look like a complete ah beng. but for my appearance, a earstud will make me look ugly or gay, which is not desirable. AND shi xiong will kill me. HAH.

ok, the post i getting too lengthy

some quick replies to my tag box.

to chun ann: thanks!

to baby/li wen: i am not a stud, the size does not suggest that.

to tracy: well. my English is not as good as you described and i dunno how to teach English, so sorry.

to myrin: that's why i am planning to do the research paper.

YuJun

should i call myself Enlil?

my lee's hypothesis of hardwork can compensate for stupidity has broken down.

2007-10-09T21:17:00.000+08:00

Prolugue.

I'm so tired.

can't even think of a more sophisticated word of choice.

i want to sleep.

YO PplE!

i am losing my blogger's touch le.

previous posts were kinda boring, dun blame me, blame the mid terms. ok, it my fault ok?

time to buck up.

so this post, i will do better.

as i mentioned in one of my previous posts, a decent and engaging blog should not go about the lengthy stories in your day but the most significant one. it is about writing clearly, precisely and concisely(quoted from Mr Ho, my macro econs teacher who may have cancer. get well soon).

the one most significant event in my life is related to this extract from ruo han's blog.

"Hello everyone. Here's the feed of Salvo's update. Well, performance date is nearing and time is running. The score list are already out so I'll just name them.The first is common to everyone who drummed, it's called 'B' 大组. The second is called 玄, composed by Neo. The third is 浪, done by Aw. Last but not least is 心, by Charmaine.

I personally feel that Aw's score is a work of art. Very beautifully done and the flow is good, just as the name suggests, it is smooth like the waves in the sea. :DBet everyone's bored and doesn't understand what I'm saying. I'll talk about something else since that's about it for Salvo's update. Jiayou people for the performance, gambatte!"-- ruo Han.

after reading this short two paragraphs, i totally broke down. i felt lost, inferior and to a certain extend, ashamed. obviously, "emo" feelings and slight depression(or anxiety, according to one psychological case study) started to sink in. airheadness occurred next, staring into the TV without knowing what is going on in the TV series.

snapping back into reality, i started analysing my inner thoughts along side with typing(actually wanted to use the word 'compose') this post.

why did i have such emotional response?

ZingO members with another identity of Salvo members, their creations, their composition. why did they use it in Salvo and not ZingO? identity crisis. If i would make this an indicator of commitment, that won't be fair.

well, it seems that they are more talented than us, drummers for a much longer time. then comes the issue of intelligence and IQ, because of the hard-to-measure nature of IQ, i shall skip the topic as well.

what really pierce me is the fact that being a drummer for near 5 years, i dun have a creation of my own. i feel so useless.well, that is the mind of a stupid person ba. hard work can't compensate for this. Mr lee, if you are reading, one of your theories has broken down.

other than worrying abt my stupidity, i have two more worries today.

Ruo han's activeness in Salvo worries me. this sudden interest in Salvo, izzit caused by the boredom created by the 7weeks of holidays? what could happen is that ZingO might lose ruo han.i fear of him to change, likewise to neo's, Charmaine's attitude towards Salvo and ZingO.

pls, let this worry be uncalled for.

third worry, it actually is linked to a piece of good news. Sec5 O levels is going end in less then a month i think, that means that teck wee, ZiMing and Edvwin will be free from the chains of CCHY by tmrw, so i heard and see from their MSN nicks.After the O levels, will all three of them come back to ZingO? i have the greatest confidence with teck wee. btu the other 2, worries worries. the 12Zodiacs, we lost 1 to the army, 2 to studies, 1 to games. so that means it will be 8 left, if ziming and edvwin let us down, it will be only 6. fearing that day.

hope it would be unfounded as well.

ok, exhausted.

i need to sleep to recharge and forget about the 3 great worries.

YuJun
shall i call myself "Enlil" ?

strings of my thought

2007-10-08T22:11:00.000+08:00

YO PPle

do you think you understand women with just their words? well, if you think so, there is a 99% chance that you are wrong and if you dun, pls keep in tune some time in late nov or early dec for my research paper. hope it will turn out well and i will input a lot of efforts to make my hope tangible.

today went on smoothly, presentation of my library research topic and received alot of positive suggestions and it seems that the guys are more active than the gals. dunno why, maybe chun ann's research paper will tell you that ..haha..

then just came home from the solo Starbucks study session for tmrw's world civilisation mid term. ya, half the semester has past. so fast.

then did quite a bit of studying today, maybe got that speck of hardworking from li wen and the sparked off my own diligent spirit. anyway, thanks li wen. if you dunno her, she is a 16 year old gal who like her bf to call her baby( which chun ann commented that she is too big to be one, and it is no just the age.) and called will a stud(and she told everyone that i lied to her that stud means big man, ok i did lie but then she had to broadcast this to the whole world?!)

anyway, was studying world civilisation just now at Starbucks. revised the first 3 chapters, wondering what abt the next three.

and the weather tonight is so cooling that i actually took a detour to come home just to enjoy it!! actually wanted to walk longer to see the mid night scene de.. however, i have to wake up early tmr morning( have to do that on all the weekdays except Wednesdays). i got a behaviourism problem, i like to arrive school 1.5 hours before class starts. sort of a weird habit but then there are less pple to interact with you see, on the bus and while walking.

ok, backache. gg to sleep le..

night!!

Yu Jun

oh ya, peng hong lost his phone AGAIN. pls drop him your number over msn if you want to.

oh no no no no no~~

2007-10-04T22:34:00.000+08:00

yo pple!

ok the title sounds emo, but it actually is. oops, i am not making sense.. haha. anyway, today had macro exams. thik i am not gg to do well. oh no. declining GPA..

then dunno why today is very "dis-orientated"(quoting from Christ, maybe got the dis-orientation from him.. hmm..) then didn't study much. PSPed alot. my PSP is charging now, he's tired. i am tired as well, keep wanting to fall asleep during classes and exams. oh no no. i am turning into a BAD BAD BADDIE student. damn. i hate pple who sleep in class. gg to hate myself le.. oh no no no.

haha.

then i deleted the ZingblOg le. think i am gg to continue it discretely that only ZingO members can view it. somehow i need to make that possible first. haha. gg to explore the blogger webbie for sometime ba. haha.

without exhausting more energy, i am gg to finish this post by one quote in psychology class today.

"women live longer by being emotional, expressing their emotions out freely. on the other hand, men die earlier BECAUSE women are emotional."

Yu Jun

New blog!! and another round of random photos.

2007-10-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

YO pplE!!

well. the ZingO friendster blog was giving some problems and i deleted it. how nice this world will be if we can just eliminate pple when they give you problems. muhehe.

then i created this blog!!

http://zingo-ians.blogspot.com/

this will be temperory, ZingOians, pls do check it out. you have 6 days to poll. thanks.

now for anothe round of photos!

yung tau fu at Ngee Ann poly! cheap and nice!!

woa, i want to get down the bus using the DOOR, not the window.

Sparkles.

Lunch today at "attitude Performing Art Cafe"

light yet fufilling. the salad is fresh with nice dressing.

the chunky chicken sandwich is nice. the bread is buttered and grilled, the veggies crunchy and the meat fully favoured and sliced, tender and not tough and dry!

MangO smoothie. well taste it and you will fall in love with it!!

total cost= $10.20(GST includsive)

rating: 4 out of 5

randomly taken by Zi Ming at Vivo if i never rmb wrongly.

okok. got to sleep. tmr still need to go tao payoh to buy stuff.

Yu Jun

wondering how pple kill boredom or get killed by it.