busy

yo pple,

keeping this real short before i go knock myself out to get soem more sleep.

the new year is coming soon, which means i will be getting more busy(lazy). so dun be surprised if i dun blog as much.. haha.

thank you.

YuJun.

merry X'mas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

for the past week and especially the recent days, my life revolved around one word, tired.

been trying to run daily, go see performance, BBQ overnight, man, it has taken a toll on me. highest temperature today was 37.6 degree Celsius plus sneezed and coughed out bloody mucus. lethargic feelings all over. physically worn out.

however, all of the busy schedule was worth it. well, apparently the company compensated for the low physical-stability levels. lots of things happened, then lazy to go into the details right now, due to the block nose and sore throat. hmm, personally, just have to remember that i felt like it was the good old CCHY/CCHB days again. thanks to xjw.

rest is essential to repair my body.

ho ho ho ho..

ONg LAi

gg to change blogskin soon. after x'mas.

merry X'mas

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Mixed up feelnigs

yo pple,

keeping it short by point form.

• got my first NS letter, asking me to register with online.
• then after much trial and error, finally got it right.
• babies have an wonderful power, to make you forget the distressing impacts of the letter.
• then the living prove cum 17year old friends are not helping much with the hopes in getting a deferment.
• tried to get deferment, but then dunno how to carry on when ask "level of education?", there are no options that goes "Private degree".
• going to bombard Ann Sum, my much beloved (especially at this time) course administrator tmr morning,or afternoon.
• ok, off to watch anime.
• Hend, i hope you are right.
• And last but not least, Santa, i want 7 semesters deferment for this X'mas, if it's too hard, i am willing to get the deferment in instalments of 3 semester for annually. lol

YuJun/ONg LAi

the mixed (and pent) up feelings of embracing NS. "santa, i want deferment, pls"

not right.

yo pple, it's late already, so gonna keep it short.

today is an depressing day.. it started out well with a very enjoyable session of PT, but then the afternoon, after my evaluation in the evening, wasn't as great as i expected it would be.

after viewing "how to get a full body cramp" demonstration by wei ling, and saw the i-just-woke-up-and-live-life-without-me-first side of shi xiong, went to AMK hub for planned, much expected K-box session.

it seems that expectation is the cornerstone to great disappointment, then the cliche phrase comes to mind, the harder you climb, the harder you fall.

K-box is not as enjoyable as the previous session. haiz, not on form today, wo ke yi and wo huai nian de, is disastrous. omFg. what went wrong?

the company, because tony wasn't there? possible, since Janice feels that her singing is lousier than usual. or is it with the training in the morning?

enough of looking at external attributes, what abt internal attributes? my voice, getting worse? i feel that my vocal range is getting narrower, on top of that, it is harder to sing the more emotional songs.. hmm, hav i lost my touch?

in summary, money wasted by bad singing plus shame upon self.

then watch the movie, 'warlords' or something like that (sorry for the causal-ness, focused on the movie but not the title.)

it's a good show, worthy of it's 4.5 out of 5 rating. if you dun mind or even like abit gore, it's a great film. but felt so tired watching the show, very mentally stressful. and physically exhausted by the training in the morning.

*yawns*

tired already, sleep time.

yu jun.

on a side not, some new things i learnt from some pple.

ruo han has a new camera

tracy is close to que

wei ling is akin to a sea monkey in training but a shy cheeky monkey in the midst of
fun.

Recidivism

Ong Yu Jun
BScBA

UB/SIM
BAC, BAP & BScBA
ESL408 Fall 07’ Class D
Instructor: Mrs. Shirley James
Essay #3: Final Draft

Recidivism

The child who always cries for his toy is a recidivist, criminals who are regulars at the jail are recidivists and the people who vote the same people back into the constituency every five years are recidivists as well! A recidivist can be anyone who has a behavior pattern, but it is more common to spot them only when the behavior in not widely accepted in the society. Recidivism is the repetition of past behavior, more often utilized in the context of criminal acts by law enforcers rather than in the general context concerning habitual patterns that has little recognition especially when the self is involved in recidivism.


Recidivism is the tendency to lapse into previous patterns of behavior. Recidivism occurs almost everywhere in the world; the smoker who has quit smoking but picks up the cigarette once again to ‘de-stress’, the child who wet his bed weeks again after being successfully toilet-trained, the plump lady who cannot keep to her slimming diet and even the alcoholic who just drank 6 pints after he avoided alcohol for the whole of yesterday. Recidivism is like gravity, a force opposing against our upward motion towards our aim of changing undesired behavior. Changing habits, resembles jumping, it requires efforts to occur; but more, if not most, often we revert back to the old habits and are pulled back to our old ways, back into our comfort zones like fishes in water.

Going against recidivism require great effort. It is like going against the current of waves, whereas going along with recidivism is akin to having the winds in the sails- that is the reason countless people are recidivists. When all others are being recidivist in a way or the other, we find it a social norm to be a recidivist with our little habits that do not pose danger or any significant effect to the people around. However, recidivism has a flipside. Recidivism can refer to the repetition of negative behaviors that are socially unacceptable or morally questionable despite training or punishment to discourage the behavior. One example of such negative recidivism can be identified with the criminals and in a sense; they are analogous to polluted water, being contaminated with their crime ways and pose great risk to the others whom they have contact with.

The use of the word ‘recidivism’, especially in the United States, sometimes refers to the criminals who seem to be unable to break away from the life of crime and prison. A measure used by law enforcers called recidivism rates, measures and shows how the number of criminals who repeatedly commit crimes after being released from jail and being imprisoned thereafter. In this manner, the government can observe and evaluate the penal system to improve on the recidivism rates. If the recidivism rate is high, it can mean that the punishment is too light for the crimes and therefore, relevant changes should be made to reduce the recidivism rate. However, the measure does not reveal the willingness of the criminal recidivist to recidivate. Shelving aside those criminals who get a kick from committing crimes and those who prefer to live in the jail as free lodging, criminals generally find it hard to not recidivate. There are several reasons for that. One reason is that the criminals do not posses any skills apart from committing crimes for a living seen more commonly in juvenile cases. Another reason would be that they have are not able to fit back into the society because of their criminal background and sometimes they commit crime for money, for attention or to go back to their comfort zone. These criminals will need education on the life after jail, educating them not to recidivate and landing themselves back in jail. The forces pulling them to revert back into criminal life are too overwhelming for the average criminal to fight single-handedly; what these criminal recidivists need is education, support and reminders for them to break away from the life of a criminal.
There is another branch of society that recidivism has deep impact upon the people in it; the family. Within a family, there are generally two parties; the educators and the learners. The latter, normally the children, are more prone to show acts of recidivism in the family due to their learning stages and to err is the first step to learn under the attention of the parents. On the other hand, parents, who administer punishment or training to their children, are also recidivist at times. Well, it is much debated that physical punishment is not a good way to punish children as the consequences are that the children may grow up to be more aggressive and violent. In the Asian context, parents are encouraged not to spank their children but administer punishment in the non-violent way. Some parents try to use the non-violent method but when the children goes on a tantrum, fight among themselves or just refuse to understand the beckon of the parents, the cane is drawn out and recidivism occurs. Being brought up in the ‘violent’ parenting style, parents are deeply rooted in this style and like plants, shifting by self will is not possible. Unless an external party slowly conditions the parents, uprooting them with much patience and hard work, like digging the soil around the roots of the plant, to ensure that the change of environment does not kill the plant but allow it to be able to grow better then the current situation.

Recidivism is a widely seen behavior and going against it require immerse efforts as it means stepping out of one’s comfort zone of past behavior into a new unfamiliar environment with new practices and slipping back to the previous environment is effortless. People hardly acknowledge themselves as recidivists and hence do not make the extra efforts to break away from the negative and unwanted behavior. People revolve around recidivism and identifying the forces of recidivism helps in improving, modeling a better person.

***

A-minus standards.

just for HAHs

Yo PPle.

spent a lazy afternoon preparing for saturday..

haha. leave that for saturday..

and miss Ong KAiix xin, dun be so vulgar and i admit the following is funny.. so is yours. HAH

Ten Top Trivia Tips about ONg LAI!

1. Czar Paul I banished ONg LAI to Siberia for marching out of step.
2. Ostriches stick their heads in ONg LAI not to hide but to look for water.
3. A bride should wear something old, something new, something borrowed, and ONg LAI.
4. Bananas don't grow on trees - they grow on ONg LAI!
5. ONg LAI has four noses.
6. It is bad luck to light three cigarettes with the same ONg LAI!
7. More people are killed by ONg LAI each year than die in aeroplane accidents.
8. The air around ONg LAI is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun.
9. ONg LAI has a memory span of three seconds.
10. It took ONg LAI 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.

http://thesurrealist.co.uk/trivia.pl
" method="get" style="background-color:#5F5F42;color:#CFCF95;padding:4px;text-align:center">I am interested in - do tell me aboutherhimitthem

ok, you have your HAHs.

go back to what you were doing.

lol

ONg LAi

it, is the star.

he, comes into the light.

moving his fingers to flex and quickly force the palms together as if he was clapping for it. but the sound did not come out just right. it was muffered because his palms were still together. They looked at him, and look at it, and in slience,wondering who will make the next move.
for the next few moments, he went thru the steps in his mind, from start to the end, planning was important for him. he breathe in, and then breathe out almost just as sliently as the muffered clap.

they looked at him more with more focus, wondering if he was going to give up and it was going to move. then, he made the first move. the first interaction with it.

he slowly spread his palms apart, slowly, slowly. once he was sastified with the distance between the two arms, he swung them forward, as if a fisherman casting his net. after he made some circles with his hand, he stopped, and pull back his arms. it moved.

it stood up, on it's legs and turned to face them. then it fell face down. he was shocked by it and let his arms go loose, swinging from his shoulders as thou he has lose control over his arms and it was only hanging from his shoulders. but it was not as how they seen it. he just wanted a rest, it has strain his arms.

it lay on the stage.

he raised his arms and move his fingers as if playing the piano. they were waiting to hear the music from the speakers, but no sound were heard from the speakers but from the drums, hidden in the darkness of the stage. he moved a step back and try moving his fingers. the stage is slowly lit up and the sound from the drums has slowly evolved into a pulsing rhythm that caught their attention over it.

he walked towards it, picked it up and went to the backstage.

Valentine roses

Yo PPle!

new blogskin to switch to a more relaxing mood.

the weather been really bad. On top of that, family business pressure is being activated with the official notice of my 5 week holidays isn't helping. shall not talk about these too much. just gonna say that it is plain depressing.

then received an email from Shi Ting, my college friend. although not considered close, it doesn't matter since i am generally not close with my uni friends anyway, she emailed me a very smooth essay, and i think we can share it in the festive season and in preparation for the love season in Feb.

Valentine roses

Red roses were her favorites, her name was also Rose. 
And every year her husband sent them, tied with pretty bows. 
The year he died, the roses were delivered to her door. 
The card said, "Be my Valentine," like all the years before.

Each year he sent her roses, and the note would always say, 
"I love you even more this year, than last year on this day." 
"My love for you will always grow, with every passing year." 
She knew this was the last time that the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses in advance before this day. 
Her loving husband did not know, that he would pass away. 
He always liked to do things early, way before the time. 
Then, if he got too busy, everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems, and placed them in a very special vase. 
Then, sat the vase beside the portrait of his smiling face. 
She would sit for hours, in her husband's favorite chair. 
While staring at his picture, and the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was hard to live without her mate. 
With loneliness and solitude, that had become her fate. 
Then, the very hour, as on Valentines before, 
The doorbell rang, and there were roses, sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in, and then just looked at them in shock. 
Then, went to get the telephone, to call the florist shop. 
The owner answered, and she asked him, if he would explain, 
Why would someone do this to her, causing her such pain?

"I know your husband passed away, more than a year ago," 
The owner said, "I knew you'd call, and you would want to know." 
"The flowers you received today, were paid for in advance." 
"Your husband always planned ahead, he left nothing to chance.""There is a standing order, that I have on file down here, 
And he has paid, well in advance, you'll get them every year. 
There also is another thing, that I think you should know, 
He wrote a special little card...he did this years ago."

"Then, should ever, I find out that he's no longer here, 
That's the card...that should be sent, to you the following year." 
She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard. 
Her fingers shaking, as she slowly reached to get the card.Inside the card, she saw that he had written her a note. 
Then, as she stared in total silence, this is what he wrote... 
"Hello my love, I know it's been a year since I've been gone, 
I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to overcome."

"I know it must be lonely, and the pain is very real. 
For if it was the other way, I know how I would feel. 
The love we shared made everything so beautiful in life. 
I loved you more than words can say, you were the perfect wife."
"You were my friend and lover, you fulfilled my every need. 
I know it's only been a year, but please try not to grieve. 
I want you to be happy, even when you shed your tears. 
That is why the roses will be sent to you for years."
"When you get these roses, think of all the happiness, 
That we had together, and how both of us were blessed. 
I have always loved you and I know I always will. 
But, my love, you must go on, you have some living still."
"Please...try to find happiness, while living out your days. 
I know it is not easy, but I hope you find some ways. 
The roses will come every year, and they will only stop, 
When your door's not answered, when the florist stops to knock."
"He will come five times that day, in case you have gone out. 
But after his last visit, he will know without a doubt, 
To take the roses to the place, where I've instructed him, 
And place the roses where we are, together once again." - anonymous

touching heh? for me, it was more of the smooth and fluent writing that attracted much of my attention rather that the storyline although credit have to go to the storyline for the impact of the essay.

ok, it's late. got to sleep.

Night!

YuJun
"fa~la~la~la~la~la la~la~la~la"

on a side note, pple are trying to get many things for X'mas by playing santa.

"ONg LAi says:
i want cash for x'mas, santa vic!

santa vic says:
u gotta sit on my lap

santa vic says:
and go down on me"

hope victor is not gh3y. lol

chop this off elvina ah yi's blog.

What's Your Best Quality? Your Result: Personality Your best quality is your personality! People like you because you are an all around good person. You have good manners and values. You also like to express your personal style and interests.
Ambitious
Sense of Humor
Intelligence
Out-Going
Loving
What's" Your Best Quality? Take More Quizzes

erm.. either the quiz is inaccurate and ironically for me, or my other traits are worse than my personality.

Yu Jun

yea, course registrations!

yo pple!





look at this!!

i know, i know, you are lost, but then, for me, it is good news!! these are the classes that i chose and successfully got enrolled in.



after a 40 minute struggle with the SIM network and with my computer's 'f5' key being clicked on every 3 seconds, this is the final results: NO CLASSES ON TUESDAY AND FRIDAY!
thank you 'F5' !



however, 5 minutes of elation is followed by this,,, *sobs*

you may not see it carefully, this is the text which is written in the photo.

"Class Selection Update - Nov 6, 2007
Dear all,We continue to experience problems with our server and will have to stop all selection activities immediately. We will resume this exercise tomorrow (Dec 7) at 5pm. Sincere apologies for the delay.

Neo Beng Tong Principal Academic Advisor "

oh my.. what a waste of time and efforts.

awaiting for another round of struggle tmrw.



YuJun.
ps. this post was written with the first half not knowing the stupid cork up.

wo ke yi

Yo pple!

i'm still sick if you are concerned.. lol

my grandma was feeling giddy after dinner this evening, which made me worried abt her and realised the fragile-ness of life.. and i got the same feeling that her days are numbered again for the past few weeks. hopefully i am wrong.

then been obsessed with this song lately, not that it is new but then the tune get played in my head more often then ever recently. so went to youtube to get this MTV.

ENJOY!!



YuJun.
weak body accompanied by weak spirit.

Exams

Yo PPle.

the Finals exams are finally here and i am recidivist again.. to help you understand that word, i will be posting my definition essay based on that word some other days..cause the soft copy is in my thumbdrive, not in the computer, and it is with hiu tung, awaiting to be filled with songs.. oh my, how i miss ESL408 already.

anyway, trying to absorb all the advices from those who commented on my previous post.. it's hard to piece everything like a perfect puzzle, so i let time do the bigger part of the job. on a side note, i am deem as petty and an obnoxiously conceited person. nvm that.

some personality trails to be changed.

1) Do not treat the pretty little boys as friends, else they think of me as gay or even pedophile.

2) talk less, the less i talk, the less trouble i will get into right? and the involvement with otheres reduces and hence expectations will greatly reduce.

3) Psychoanalysis myself. plus self-conginitive therapy.

:

:

n) [to be thought some other time].

and birthday celebrations at KFC is like one of a kind but the positive effects of the company around overspill the not-so-good environment.

here's one pic from the birthday celebration of Julie, Zhen and Sarah, taken with kaii.

what big hands we have! all for the buddy meal!

hey, dun let your thoughts run wild, we are "buddies".. for $10.95.

lol

and today, i did a very weird thing. on my way from KAP to SIM, i saw some ignited sawdust, with the ignition starting from a burning cigarette butt. then i just kicked the burnt areas, thinking that it will cause the combustion to cease. then when i walked past the same place on my way to take the bus home, i saw more areas burning.. oops, i was spreading the combustion. what a mistake. then the normal me would just walked away and went to take the bus home, however, i went to Cold Storage to buy 3 litres of water and went back to that area to put out the combustion. didn't even know why i did that. but curse the guy or gal who threw the cigarette butt on the sawdust. i reckon some of the plants there might be unable to survive since they were being overheated.

anyway, it's the exams time and i am sick, feeling damn heaty in the throat and nose. hope i can survive the exams in the state and hope that the unwellness won't evolve into a more powerful state.

haiz, off to get some off-the-counter-medicine.

nights pple!

ONg LAi/YuJun
ps. i think i am gg to flunk my PSY101.

Detested Personality.

Yo PPLE!

ZingO Recruitment Drive 2007 has finally come to an end, and there is not more reason for me to run away from revising for the Final Exams. So, Revise Hard, ONg.

only lately, perhaps this evening, i discovered that me, myself, is not up to a certain standard. you ask me, how do i define this standards? i would say read on and try to use your own standard as a bench mark.

apart from the family factor, which scope can be so extensive that i won't be able to go thru every one's family background, there are the all different aspects of life.

let's start with the main reason why i am not happy with myself. can i ask you a every close-ended question, " if you are sitting at a table of pple and i am in your 'conversationable' range, in other words, will you talk to me voluntarily?"

Well, maybe there will be the "hello! Whats up?!" greeting, but what happens next, blanks stares and followed by changing another subject(person) talk to. Well, you get my point right?? I DON'T HAVE THE X-FACTOR for people to continue holding a conversation with me.

this is how it went, on the 24th evening , there was a movie with the usual gang plus the seniors, Da Vin, Ed and Kel. then when we met up and went from watching a movie to pool session, i felt left out in all the talks and fun that Night creates. it begun with the seniors asking where all of us(or rather the others) are studying, CA at UB/SIM, Teck Wee after O levels, Ruo Han in TP, in the seniors' Salvo (felt a prick in the neck when hearing that comment) and finally, belson in Sim Mei ITE.

just to reassure, i am not jealous with Belson and the others !! ok maybe a little.. but for me, the problem lies with myself i think.

the night went by, while walking, while playing pool, i was treated as if i was an stranger while the others were closer to the seniors than me. for example, playing pool with Edmund, we didn't even talk thru the game while tw and ca had a lot to converse about.

on the way back, i was thinking why this happened. then flashbacks came along to rub salt into my 4 inch deep wound. from the past til now, there is always a pattern, of how i interacted with people; having much to talk abt for a brief period and losing close contact forever from then. ponders and ponders, then this easily saturated point situation does not applies to interaction with people only, but also in all the other aspects of my life.

picking up of skill, learn the basics moderately fast enough but then when to learn further and more, it is as if my capacity to learn is at the saturation point.

then leading me to think that, even the usage of myself from others point of view is the same. at first, i am pretty much easy to use for the everyday task, then at the next stage, people slowly find me unable to cope their demands anymore and then push me aside.

so, is there a problem with my intrapersonal?? is there something wrong with my personality that i had not observed?

or had i created a self-fulfilling prophecy situation? have i behaved in such a way to deserve this treatment from others? some people used to sit around me during lectures, i would talk to them before or after the class, but absolutely not during the lecture. then after a few lectures, they will drift away, finding other classmates to chatter during the lecture. then me, being attentive in class, abstaining from talking to them. does this act makes me boring and having an unattractive personality? knowing that this kind of things will happen, i ignore them and try to be myself. there after, i think that they are chatter boxes and if they want to behave this way, it's not my fault, so let them be. but now, looking back, have i behaved in the way that increased the possibility of them associating me with an detested personality?

these questions won't get out of my mind and because one question leads to another, my mind is filled with questions that i constantly ask myself but dun get any answers. it taxes my mind and somehow, drinking Merlot from the bottle makes me fall asleep and push these questions into the sleepyard.

can i get answers from within? knowing that my defense mechanism, esp rationalisation and sublimation, will be able to counter all answers i get externally..

Kinda depressed and repressed.

is it because of this that it hurts to hear Ruo Han say 'ty' always?

but on a side note, all the participants for the ZingO recruitment drive are successfully accepted, that means more chances to play with weiling(muhahahahaha) but the are still work that i have to do, to make this Recruitment more fruitful.

YuJun / ONg LAi

BBQs are just too troublesome, especially without a car. what incentives are there for me to organise the BBQ this year? omg, one more question in my mind, whiskey pls!!