my lee's hypothesis of hardwork can compensate for stupidity has broken down.

Prolugue.

I'm so tired.

can't even think of a more sophisticated word of choice.

i want to sleep.

YO PplE!

i am losing my blogger's touch le.

previous posts were kinda boring, dun blame me, blame the mid terms. ok, it my fault ok?

time to buck up.

so this post, i will do better.

as i mentioned in one of my previous posts, a decent and engaging blog should not go about the lengthy stories in your day but the most significant one. it is about writing clearly, precisely and concisely(quoted from Mr Ho, my macro econs teacher who may have cancer. get well soon).

the one most significant event in my life is related to this extract from ruo han's blog.

"Hello everyone. Here's the feed of Salvo's update. Well, performance date is nearing and time is running. The score list are already out so I'll just name them.The first is common to everyone who drummed, it's called 'B' 大组. The second is called 玄, composed by Neo. The third is 浪, done by Aw. Last but not least is 心, by Charmaine.

I personally feel that Aw's score is a work of art. Very beautifully done and the flow is good, just as the name suggests, it is smooth like the waves in the sea. :DBet everyone's bored and doesn't understand what I'm saying. I'll talk about something else since that's about it for Salvo's update. Jiayou people for the performance, gambatte!"-- ruo Han.

after reading this short two paragraphs, i totally broke down. i felt lost, inferior and to a certain extend, ashamed. obviously, "emo" feelings and slight depression(or anxiety, according to one psychological case study) started to sink in. airheadness occurred next, staring into the TV without knowing what is going on in the TV series.

snapping back into reality, i started analysing my inner thoughts along side with typing(actually wanted to use the word 'compose') this post.

why did i have such emotional response?

ZingO members with another identity of Salvo members, their creations, their composition. why did they use it in Salvo and not ZingO? identity crisis. If i would make this an indicator of commitment, that won't be fair.

well, it seems that they are more talented than us, drummers for a much longer time. then comes the issue of intelligence and IQ, because of the hard-to-measure nature of IQ, i shall skip the topic as well.

what really pierce me is the fact that being a drummer for near 5 years, i dun have a creation of my own. i feel so useless.well, that is the mind of a stupid person ba. hard work can't compensate for this. Mr lee, if you are reading, one of your theories has broken down.

other than worrying abt my stupidity, i have two more worries today.

Ruo han's activeness in Salvo worries me. this sudden interest in Salvo, izzit caused by the boredom created by the 7weeks of holidays? what could happen is that ZingO might lose ruo han.i fear of him to change, likewise to neo's, Charmaine's attitude towards Salvo and ZingO.

pls, let this worry be uncalled for.

third worry, it actually is linked to a piece of good news. Sec5 O levels is going end in less then a month i think, that means that teck wee, ZiMing and Edvwin will be free from the chains of CCHY by tmrw, so i heard and see from their MSN nicks.After the O levels, will all three of them come back to ZingO? i have the greatest confidence with teck wee. btu the other 2, worries worries. the 12Zodiacs, we lost 1 to the army, 2 to studies, 1 to games. so that means it will be 8 left, if ziming and edvwin let us down, it will be only 6. fearing that day.

hope it would be unfounded as well.

ok, exhausted.

i need to sleep to recharge and forget about the 3 great worries.

YuJun
shall i call myself "Enlil" ?