confusion?

Harlow friends.

sorry for not updating my blog for a long time; not posting new entries, not changing the skin, not updating my tunes, etc. I know you'll, if not already gotten bored with my blog after coming to my blog for the many many times and not seeing anything new. but then i will try to post more often since i figure out that i should set aside more time for myself after the Death of a Hero production.

Things has been rough and fast paced for me right now, with another esplanade performance coming up on 6 & 7 June. We are preparing for this performance without the luxury of time and other resource such as a practice venue. Well, since we have been thrown this challenge, we have to do it. That's what being in ZingO is, able to accept the challenges thrown to you at times you do not expect. However, being thrown challenges is only partially what i have been thinking about, in ZingO.

I'm actually sick of my pathetic GPA of 3.2, but then i ask myself, what activities took away my studies times and lesson time. After that, the next shove of words comes into my ear -- complains of choosing Exams over ZingO. That leads to me questioning myself, was it right to turn up for rehearsals for Death Of a Hero when I had exams the next day, the next week? It all boils down to expectation and priorities; some people can actually forsake family, work for passion but then there are people who remain deeply rooted in the dynamics of their life from passion.

And I wonder if my priorities ans expectation are so empirically different from others that I am being so differentiated and isolated (mentally). "Expectations lead to satisfaction, and not fulfilling the expectation creates dissatisfaction", that's a quote from my textbook. Somehow some sort, i always link my textbook materials to ZingO, thinking how it will apply with the real working world. For that, i actually have to thank ZingO for giving me the chance to imagine things in the business world.

Recently, i am studying Organisation behaviour and it applies to ZingO when it talk about who is in which position and what is happening. Part of it is Restructuring, Exit. Maybe my useful time is up. Once a utility is up, there is no point in managing it, it should be thrashed. Luckily for me, there's NS at the end of the year(supposedly) for me to be thrashed out and then later inspected for further usage. Well, face it, people are hypocritical, when you are useful, you are treated properly and people know where you stand. Otherwise, you know you are losing your status and purpose, at this junction of life why not take a left turn and exit this form of passion?

Confusion right now.

bye.