Happy (working) holidays!

Another 12.5 more hours and this semseter will be over.

Watching (or should i say listening) to the last online lecture for the last paper. Woohoo.

Then after 1200hrs tomorrow, it'll be a busy week le.

Saturday(tomorrow):

• 1000hrs-1200hrs :Management Information System Final Exams (which i am not interested in, not prepared and not good at). All the best to me.
• 1230hrs-1500hrs : Drum Practice
• 1700hrs-2130hrs : Part-time Work (Anthropology.)
• 2130hrs- late: KTV somewhere in Town with Janice, Zenna,Doris, Jay, Dannis, two friends of the Doris, Jay and Dannis. Perhaps Tony will come too. Tony please come, i think you'll like Jay and Dannis. haha.

Sunday:

• Morning. Start shopping for CNY? on the account that being in NS won't give me much time to shop for CNY clothes? Or just window shopping ba. haaahahaaaa.
• Afternoon to Late evening. Part-Time Work

Monday:

• Morning. Shopping again. Apart from CNY shopping, still have to get ready for NS, need to get some items, like Ziplock bags, underwear (yes, i'm serious, it's stated on the letter they sent me , under ' you may also bring... "extra underwear"'), a cheap digital watch, etc. Haha, let's hope i can get what i'll need.
• Afternoon to Late evening. Part-time work again.

Tuesday:

• Morning. Nothing planned. Probably going to spend time alone after being so tired of trying to please all the people around involunteerily. Away from crowds and find true self. Crap.
• Afternoon to late evening. Part-time work.

Wednesday:

• Morning. Tie up the loose ends with society i guess. (since NS can be classified as a Total Institution, reminded of Sociology Finals question on Socialization)
• Afternoon. I'm free :]
• Evening. Piano Lesson at 5pm and Dinner with Sean, Sean (yes two seans, not typo), Vincent and Chen Chen for dinner. Somewhat like a Farewell dinner. Haha, good and friendly teammates.

Thrsday:

• Morning. Part-time Work
• Late Afternoon. Rest and Final Preparation for NS (e.g. stare at ceiling and think. LOL)

Friday:

• 0800hrs: Report at the Camp.
• Rest of the day: Well... who knows :]

Well, that's my most accurate schedule to this point of time.

It feels kinda of heart warming that people find time to have dinner with you before you Go into NS. but then you also see that some people don't try hard enough, "oh, you are not free that time ar, see how lor". see how lor followed by not hearing from them anymore. oh well, at least they tried and with my tight and inconvenient schedule, I can't really blame them i guess. well, you can say that i'm guessing real hard.

Studying hard so I can sing without guilt tomorrow. jaja.

Byebye

YuJun aka ONg LAi

army days.

yes people.

as expected, i've not been successful in getting a silver grade for my NAPFA test.

Hence, i'll be enlisting on 12th Dec 2008, one month extra for PTP (Physical Training Program) and will be released 1 month later!!

Well, i have thought over it. It's actually ok for me to go in early.

why?

• it's only a matter of time when you go in. yes, it means freedom for 2 months, but what's the good of the 2 free months when actually sleep and eat and sleep and eat? if that's not your life, it's somewhat like mine, especially during holidays.
• then i get 2 months pay!! more than that i'm getting now working in anthropology. but it's more relaxed and the hours are lesser . yes i know, but let what must come, come!
• and going to re-take my NAPFA over and over again is demoralizing. wasting Wednesday mornings and disgracing myself there for 3 times, i had enough.
• it's a sign that i need proper physical training. from who, the best gym in the country of course.
• and with the lengthen BMT period, i just heard from the instructor at TPY stadium, means a less packed schedule.

all in all, i'm going in early.

put it in the harsh words, i'm one who gives up, a failure but on the optimistic point of view, i'm evaluating my options. (great thinking man) yes, i can almost hear you saying that.

got to go sleep or do more work.

Night pple!

YuJun

bowing down to fate.

If i fail to get silver for NAPFA test tomorrow morning again, I shall concede defeat and bow down to destiny. Scarficing my 2 months of freedom.

So tired of disgracing myself at Tao Payoh Stadium over and over again.

YuJun

Avenue Q

Hello People!

Came back home after watching Avenue Q a few hours ago. Enjoyed it a lot, since i burnt my pocket paying for the ticket. It might sound like I'm forcing myself to enjoy the musical, but trust me, IT WAS REALLY GOOD!! I like how the whole show was carefully choreographed, meticulously puppetted(pardon me for the improvised word), handsomely/beautifully designed stage and not forgetting to mention the very sensitive issues about society that were so generously discussed, like porn, straight sex, gay sex, losers, dreams, purpose (or propose) in the light of selfishness, gaining happiness from others' misery, etc.

I think i enjoyed the show so much because of my Sociology course. Hmm, there were some slight glitches i didn't like, but that didn't stop me from loving the show. Like what i told Hwan and Zi Ming, luckily we saw the last show, if not, i might be back to watch it again. Wait a second, i burnt my pocket remember? and I told myself I'll watch HSM3 again, but i didn't. So even if i was given a chance to watch the musical again, i doubt I'll do so.. haha..

And watching the show with friends from both university and Drums were kinda cool, since i don't have time to think to myself (in other's point of view, EMO) since i have to keep interacting with the 2 sides, a pity both sides were kinda shy, but who won't be in that kind of setting?

Got a necklace from TopMan while waiting people to turn up. Hmm, it was quite a steal. It's a bolt design, and the actual price was $23, but do to the fashion vs time effect, i manage to get it for $9. Well, that just tells you how much TopMan is earning from you from every item they sell you, remembering that no businesses will( or should not) ever make a loss from a transaction. Painful outlook at business. Hmm, pretend you didn't see this sentence if it bothers you.

Talking about shopping, I'll but MayDay's album in support of their very nice song in the latest album Although i burnt my pocket after Avenue Q. Never been a great fan of them, but this album (after hearing over the radio and other sources) proves to be compacted with great songs that cause a tingling sensation in me. Great Work Mayday.

Then Yesterday, we had our performance at RP, Reflection Concert is the name if I didn't remember wrongly, which is part of their Art Festival. Erm. the performances was good and our performance was great, according to the Art Director of RP, the other performers as well as the audience who innocently laughed at our performance but was awed by the end of the performance. it was heartwarming that we had both stage support (edwin, teck Li and others) and audience support (norman, russell and friends)

I can't help it but can i complain about the performance? (note to self: why are you even asking anyway? Can they reply after you post this blog with your near-to-perfectionist complains?) Well, I'm not a perfectionist, but i do want to see quality in things we (as a group) do. Especially on stage. For me, the stage is not limited to the timber which we step on, bounded by curtains, brightly lit up by spotlights and all other kind of lights being switched on and focused on in a big room which resembles the Cerebow machine in the Movie X-men which is Professor X's XL version mind reading device.

The stage is when we put on our Group (black with white prints) shirt and people recognise you not by individuals but a group. The Art Director told his students, if they perform on stage, it doesn't matter who the performers are, at the end of the day, the audience will give credit or disservice to RP and RP only. Well, I totally agree with him. So when being recognised as a group, I think our performance has started. With this mindset, every word you say, every move you make, the audience can see. And the audience is not only those who manages to get the tickets and fill up the seats in the theatre, the audience is everyone who can see you as the group member. Oh well, then who is the audiences you may ask.. Let's see, the RP art director, technical Staff, Stage managers, Stage Hands, Arts Administrators, Other performers, etc.. these people are so much different from the normal audience mentioned earlier. they get to see your item over and over again, and worst, your silly behaviour when you are around them. on stage, off stage, back stage, dressing rooms, toilets, during dinner, loading bay and even while you take photos! More irritating than anything else, is Standing on stage, with or without the spotlights on, like your daily self (jokes about others that are irritating, isolating yourself in a corner of the room and sleeping to look pathetic, taking other performers seats, not paying attention to others around you, curse and swear, spending money on food like food money is never an issue, etc) on stage is totally outrageous (at least for me) and idling on stage makes me wanna punch you off the stage. so that you won't disgrace yourself, or should i say, our group any further.

I sound like I want to create a pseudo culture for our group, but what i hope (to the highest degree this word can be used and yet not to the level of the word 'want') to see is that we can be sensible in front of all our audience. Being a performer, forget about your personal space until you go home and take off that black shirt with white prints! Think of what image will be formed from every move you make, every word you say, even if the other party might not understand your language. Be more self conscious. Take on and embrace your role on stage, whether Helper or Performer, know the purpose of your role and take back all your complains and play the role well, as ZingO.

Ahh~~~~~~~~ feel so much better after bottling this up for close to 30 hours or so since yesterday's first run through. although i should be sleeping

and one more tiny complain, performers' food need to be improved on. BAD FOOD LEADS TO WORSE FEELINGS!

Going to sleep.

Night people!!

ONg LAi

ps. need to further work on my NAPFA performance.

blog goes on.

Hello folks!

(the greeting is learned from my lecturer in Management information system)

Hmm, been real long since I posted about me toying with the idea of not continuing this blog. Well, during this period, i set up a blog on word press and even have one entry! Having another blog on word press made me realise something, I need the privacy in the virtual world. Hence, i'll continue with Drum-boarding along side with my word press blog.

"so what? he have two blogs, then?!"

well, that was my imagined reaction to any readers who talk in the street gangster slang (me thinking too much, i guess). Anyway, the difference will probably be the content that i'll put into the blogs.

The reasons of me maintaining this blog is that I still have my readers (read: friends who put time to take a look on how i'm doing lately) and it serves as a form of connections to these readers. Many of them just read, and do not comment. I guess it's the comment box being a indicator of presence and people this age just like to know about things, but are unwilling to expose themselves. Second guess of the post. Bottom line, friends who knows me for who i am, please put up with my horrible English as well as my crude way of looking at and living life. I'm continuing so we don't lose contact. Yes, i'll go visit your blogs to show my presence sometime, when i'm able to breath from my pile of schoolwork.

to be continued.

gong for dinner with family.

ONg LAi

the end of one is the birth of another,

I'm talking about my blog.

Been toying with the idea of changing my blog URL to a secret address, or maybe deleting it.

hmm, too many stuff that are not meant to be said are said here. just a 2 year old blog can cause so much offences.

Maybe i just complain too much, but let's hope the new blog will be more general and personal.

oh ya, did i tell why I'm changing my blog?

I'm moving on to the next stage.

NS days.

received my enlistment letter a few days back. Going to commando on 12 DEC. Well, this is the tentative date, if i pass my NAPFA, then it's a different date i suppose.

Well, look out for my Next blog ba. doubt I'll be changing the URL, just different content. :]

ONg LAi

updates

hello.

done some updates on my blog. Pls take some time and view and listen to the music and videos inside the orange boxes above. Thanks.

riverfest (so is F1. yea.) is over and reality from school hits hard. i get the impression that I am a social loafer! bloody hell, i hate loafers and here i am, one big fat social loafer. feeling so bad about this today, even worse that last night at Clarke Quay. gosh.

but i won't complain for the sake of complaining. will prove to myself and others that i am not a social loafer.

Yu Jun

blogthings.com

hi guys,

getting really bored from watching online lectures. hence, i went to blog surf and came across this old site i used to go to and did a few of the 'quizzes'.

Supposedly, it is meant to tell you more about myself.

You Are Bare Feet

You are a true free spirit, and you can't be tied down. Even wearing shoes can be a little too constraining for you at times! You are very comfortable in your own skin. You are one of the most real people around. You don't have anything to hide. Open and accepting, you are willing to discuss or entertain almost any topic. You are a very tolerant person. You are accepting and not judgmental. You should live: Somewhere warm You should work: At your own business, where you can set the rules

What Kind of Shoe Are You?

so, is this good? I can't even say how true this reflects about me. Deep down, i find common ground with the above results, but according to Cooleys, my reflecting glass mirrors(friends, family, others around me), don't quite suggest that the results are true..

maybe that's why i like to be alone most of the time. hmm.

You Are 83% Perfectionist

You're a total perfectionist. So go ahead and congratulate yourself on a "perfect" score. The truth is, everyone is sick of living up to your standards. And you're probably even sick them yourself.

Are You a Perfectionist?

Are you sick of my expectations?

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF) You are a passionate, caring, and unique person. You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily. Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend. Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.

The Three Question Personality Test

Note: this is 70% true.

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are aloof, mysterious, and distant. People feel like they really don't know the true you... Yet they're still drawn to you, almost by magnetic force. Underneath it all, you don't even really feel like you know yourself. It's easier to put on a front than really think about your life's purpose. You tend to seem pretentious, but it's just a mechanism you use to push people away.

What's" the Part of You That No One Sees?

hmm, lots of common ground found. I find this amazingly true.

You Should Play the Piano

You are a true music aficionado who loves many musical style and eras. You find music to be an escape. And you'd like to be relaxed and comfortable when you're making it. You're very innovative, and you have a unique way of knowing what may sound beautiful. There's a strong possibility that you could compose some of your own work songs quite easily. While you have a lot of creative energy, you are also serious and conscientious. Your musical talent needs time, practice, and lots of privacy to flourish. Your dominant personality characteristic: your painstaking attention to detail Your secondary personality characteristic: your natural tendency to be whimsical

What Musical Instrument Should You Play?

Whoots, i picked the correct instrument to pick up. 75% alike.

Well, 5 quizzes to let you know more about me.

til next time!

ONg LAi

Hello!

look at this photo.

Once again, my Soul camera has been put to use.

Doris commented that I look bloated, but i can assure that it is due to the angle.

when i took the photo, i saw a peaceful and tranquil Me in the picture.

how i wish i can attain that state of emotion most of the times.

hence, i put this on my blog to remind myself to work hard to be peaceful.

Seems so hard.

Back to watching online videos.

bye~

ONg LAi

ZingO

For Fame and Glory,

We perform.

For Friends and Respect,

We unite.

But for what do we perserve?

I think it's for achievement.

But come to think of it,

what have I achieved?

school started.

Harlow people.

as the title suggests, school have started, then sorry to my blog and readers, for not posting frequently (read: very long no post le).

well the pressure of studies have definitely set in to squeeze me. Also, projects comes one by one and compact your social time. on top of that, i'm planning to get a part-time job, both for the money and experience. other demands of life also make it so hard to breath and sleep properly, such as drum and family. Luckily, there's always music (drum and piano), arts and Starbucks to give me some life juice to ensure that i can move around, either voluntarily or reluctantly.

for school, doing project with some new and familiar people is really tough. because you see ideas coming form 2 sides of the spectrum and that those ideas are impossible to compromise, then you decide whose ideas you should support, or to kill that is. hmm, maybe it's time to set some rules and force my way down on them. and i've been behind the online lecture videos, need to find more time to look at them. wonder if i can manage my time well.

managing time has been posting problems,since i can plan a few appointments in a day; school in the morning, project meetings during lunch, rushing to piano practice or work interviews or home in after lunch, the rest of the day, something pops up, maybe near to last minute drum appointments, family gathering, and such.

and things goes wrong that i feel so stressed that it took me bloody 5 minutes to spell the word "minute" in a SMS. GOSH. however, other than personal ambitions planning to get more things done,the problems lies is people think like the economist, the arthopologist, the psychologist and not like the sociologist in the old elephant story (to be shared later). The above sentence probably makes me sound like a self-centred and egoistic person who shifts the blame to others when things goes wrong or not up to expectations. Well, although i am a little prone to be egoistic, i do not shift blames.

The Old Elephant Story

Once, an elephant was introduced to the psychologist, the economist, the sociologist and the arthopologist. The social scientists were all blindfolded that that time to allow specialist efforts on their studies with the elephant. so one by one the scientists began to examine the elephant and choose which part of the elephant they would like to focus on. The psychologist quickly found the head of the elephant and said,

"This is where the mind lies, we should study here to understand the elephant thinks."

Next came the economist, who immediately headed towards and touched the tusk of the elephant and commented,

"This part is most valuable, we should study this part of the animal to explore it's value."

Following after the economist, the arthopologist used no time to identify the ears and eyes and said,

"what it knows and learned is by sight and hearing, we need to study here!"

Finally, the sociologist spent some time to explore the animal, the body, the legs, the tusk, the tail, the ears, the head, the mouth, as well as the back of the animal, sitting there listening to the sound the animal makes. Finally, the sociologist said,

" We can't study only one part of the animal as each and every part contributes to what the animal is. We'll need to take our blindfolds off and work together."

What happened next is up to your imagination, but it was not the happy ending kind.

(i typed the story based on memory after reading it from textbook, it does not belong to me. thanks)

i still have loads to say, but then i know that some stuff are not meant to be shown on blogs, cause you never know exactly who is reading your stuff. and when you do, you will have to be less open as many observations are often faced with pain and denial. i guess i have to keep some stuff to myself and only myself.

(in the way tony says it) bye bye.

ONg LAi

Holidays

Harlow pple.

have not post on my blog for 2 weeks already! been some time but then it was for good cause; i was studying for my much dreaded finals exams. and computer avoidance was part of the "study hard for exams" package.

Anyway, note to my blog, sorry for the negligence and your stagnant look for the past 2 semester. Congrats for a new look. will be spending more time to post on you during the holidays le!!

ok, let's start talking about my life which is not recorded on my blog.

hmm, to my memory, i had Friday night meeting about the moonfest de technical details.
after the meeting, went home to slack around abit after the accounting exams. from 11 to 3.30am, i was playing around with my computer's excel trying to put what was discussed during the meeting to excel. then sent it out and had a short sleep before heading to practice, which left me with tired eyes and a body that needs more rest. Wore the wrong shirt during practice with the right shirt in my bag all along. hmm. this left me to ponder about options and opinions.

i made a terrible mistake about wearing a black singlet during practice and left the black ZingO tee in my bag. hmm, practice was from 1030hrs (mr yip was late) to 16oohrs? Mimi and Peiyi came to look at our practice at 1430hrs? basically, we were supposed to present ourselves in the cool looking black ZingO tee to mimi and pei yi, but zi ming and i changed into something else. but no one remind us about the cool looking black ZingO tee for the presentation. and we sort of got punished for the negligence.

punishment aside, the option of not reminding us 2 fools about the shirt, was it really due to laziness? i don't think so, hence it left me to seriously consider the motive behind the option of not posting the reminder. i came up with 1)backstabbing, 2)hope of self-realization, 3) playing a fool of us, 4)to remind us of your status among us, 5)checking if there are kind souls in ZingO who would have post the reminder, 6)you forgot yourself, 7)not in the mood to help, etc etc. I have a longer list that should be left in my mind, but no matter what is the true objective, it does not matter now. since things has passed and the delivery of the objective is so vague, i should be vague in receiving the message as well. Well, isn't this a happy ending? although i have to remind myself that everyone is a hypocrite to a certain degree.

next chapter.

7th month is here. started getting random smses from pui yee about the getai at her void deck. haha. then from my own point of view, feeling very lonely recently. my daily activities has not been through of much changes but feeling more lonely then usual. have the urge to express this form of loneliness on stage but then it's not a high possibility. to resolve this, i decided to let things go away on it's own, the 7th month will pass soon. good brothers and sisters ar, kindly leave me alone ba. hah.

next.

watch "The journey to the centre of the earth" with Janice and belson on Monday, it is a good movie, we had or laughs and i think it is worth it. haha, i'm rushing for time, so will be less long winded. nothing to complain about the movie.

next.

had lunch with sarah and julie yesterday. the initial objective for meeting with julie was to get more information from julie about the Bangkok trip, but then it became a simple lunch plus catching up session, for the girls at least.

then i went to catch "dark knight", another good movie, but i felt that it was too long, even for the exciting storyline. can be more concise, like how Wan will say.

next.

plans for the holidays,
watch the movies that i missed because of the exams,
go to have a nice Korean meal
go to Korean supermarket to buy some delicious food.
have fun with fang, singchun, yuhui,
etc etc.

bye
YuJun

Horoscopes

Hello!!

just received those chain email. but as usual, i'm not going to care about it. Ensuring that whatever (bad luck, misfortune, etc) don't happen on me is just too tiring. What can go wrong, will go wrong and must go wrong. On top of that, it's like sharing misfortune with people while you get safe (with no granatee), why do so much sins.

haha, i'm talking serious a moment ago. Just remembered that I told Yong Xin in secondary 1 that if you continueto send out those chain mail or letter, instead of ensuring nothing bad happens to you, it just returns to you 10fold if you send the mail to 10 people.. haha. it was very funny that she actually believed me. Hope that she didn't remember it after so many years. Oh ya, she's a Libra. Haha.

Anyway, i'm posting the horoscopes details without all the curseing.

Here it is!

CAPRICORN - The Go-Getter (Dec 22 - Jan 19) Patient and wise. Practical and rigid. Ambitious. Tends to be Good-looking. Humorous and funny.. Can be a bit shy and reserved. Often pessimistic. Capricorns tend to act before they think and can be Unfriendly at times. Like competition. Get what they Want.

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

PISCES - The Dreamer (Feb 19 - Mar 20) Generous, kind, and thoughtful. Very creative and imaginative..May become secretive and vague. Sen sitive. Don't like details. Drea my and unrealistic. Sympathetic and loving. Kind. Unselfish. Good kisser. Beautiful.

ARIES - The Daredevil (Mar 21 - April 19)Energetic. Adventurous and spontaneous. Confident and enthusiastic. Fun. Loves a challenge. EXTREMELY impatient. Sometimes selfish. Short fuse. (Easily angered.) Lively, passionate, and sharp wit. Outgoing. Lose interest quickly - easily bored. Egotistical. Courageous and assertive. Tends to be physical and athletic.

TAURUS - The Enduri ng One (April 20 - May 20) Charming but aggressive. Can come off as boring, but they are not. Hard workers. Warm-hearted. Strong, has endurance. Solid beings that are stable and secure in their ways. Not lookin! g for shortcuts. Take pride in their beauty. Patient and reliable. Make great friends and give good advice. Loving and kind. Loves hard - passionate. Express themselves emotionally. Prone to ferocious temper-tantrums. Determined. Indulge themselves often. Very generous.

GEMINI - The Chatterbox (May 21 - June 20) Smart and witty. Outgoing, very chatty. Lively, energetic. Adaptable But needs to express themselves. Argumentative and outspoken. Like change. Versatile. Busy, sometimes nervous and tense. Gossips. May seem superficial or inconsistent. Beaut iful physically and mentally.

CANCER - The Protector (June 21 - July 22)Moody, emotional. May be shy. Very loving and caring. Pretty/handsome. Excellent partners for life. Protective. Inventive and imaginative. Cautious. Touchy-feely! kind of person. Needs love from others. Easily hurt, but sympathetic. 16 years of bad luck if you do not forward.

LEO - The Boss (July 23 - Aug 22)Very organized. Need order in their lives - like being in control. Like boundaries. Tend to take over everything. Bossy. Like to help Others. Social and outgoing. Extroverted. Generous, warm-hearted. Sen sitive. Creative energy. Full of themselves. Loving. Doing the right thing is important to Leos. Attractive.

VIRGO - The Perfectionist (Aug 23 - Sept 22)Dominant In relationships. Conservative. Always wants the last word. Argume ntative. Worries. Very smart. Dislikes noise and chaos. Eager. Hardworking. Loyal. Beautiful. Easy to talk to.Hard to please. Harsh. Practical and very fussy. Often shy. Pessimistic.

LIBRA - The Harmonizer (Sept 23 - Oct ! 22) Nice to everyone they meet. Can't make up their mind. Have own unique appeal. Creative, energetic, and very social. Hates to be alone. Peaceful, generous. Very loving and beautiful. Flirtatious. Give in too easily. Procrastinators. Very gullible.

SCORPIO - The Intense One (Oct 23 - Nov 21) Very energetic. Intelligent. Can be jealous and/or possessive. Hardworking. Great kisser. Can become obsessive or secretive. Holds grudges. Attractive.. Determined. Loves being in long Relationships. Talkative. Romantic. Can be self-centered at times. Passionate and Emotional.

SAGITTARIUS - The Happy-Go-Lucky One (Nov 22 - Dec 21)Good-natured optimist. Doesn't want to grow up (Peter Pan Syndrome). Indulges self. Boastful. Likes luxuries and gambling. Social and outgoing. Doesn't lik! e responsibilities. Often fantasizes. Impatient. Fun to be around. Hav ing lots of friends. Flirtatious. Doesn't like rules. Sometimes hypocritical. Dislikes being confined - tight spaces or even tight clothes.. Doesn't like being doubted. Beautiful inside and out.

That's all.

ONg LAi

Imprefection

Photos from my phone again.

The Unperfect mE.

Looking at the 10pm TV series on chanel U, “Perfect Cut” recently provided me with many insight about life. It was especially so when the ideas are abstract and portrayed by good-looking actors and actors who manages to push the emotions/’feel’ to fit the ‘Perfect Beings” look.

As you might have seen from the video above, there were several eye candies from the two planets; the dudes, Thomas Ong, Julian Hee, as well as the babes, Michelle Chia, Constance Song, Apple Hong, Felicia Chin and Joey Swee with her inner beauty more then external beauty.

As the show slowly progress, the external perfection with Botox, skin tightening, double eyelid, breast enhancement, etc was portrayed with the positive light, but that didn’t get me into the perfection thinking mode, my sister included after she saw how much pain the ladies went through just to get bigger breast or their vagina tighten or pricked by needles. This was how the show started, but as the plot slowly unfolds, things get more complicated and the mature themes got into me. -.- One day, I went to have my haircut and looked into the mirror for the longest duration recently. I realized that my single eyelid eyes are uneven, and with the media portraying the perfection models not only in The Perfect Cut but also the movies like Red Cliff, I realized that I am not perfect.

Imperfect, I have to constantly remind myself that everyone is imperfect to suppress the urge to save money to go for an eyelid operation to even both eyes and cut flab future to gain a body like Julian’s. Then, Lasik came into my mental thoughts, being half myopic is a disadvantage even if I can see perfectly well with one eye.

All the physical imperfection got into me and I sort of put that behind me until I reminded myself that I don’t have the inner beauty to make up for the external perfection. I am imperfect inside out. -.- imperfect with looks and brains and emotionally, I find it hard not to think about the ways to be more perfect, although I know I’ll never have the money to be perfect via the knife.

Some quotes that left a deep impression on me from the show:
“There are no ugly people, only poor people” – Alex Tan
“There are no fat People, only lazy people” – Sky Tan
“Everyone has a psychological problem; it only differs on the seriousness of it.”—Kelly
“Using inner beauty to compensate for the flawed exterior” – Song lyrics
“Inner beauty?! Who can see that?” – Bobby Low
“People are interested me for my money, you are interested with your patients for their money too!” Some Auntie to Alex Tan
“Why will you want to be someone else’s shadow when you can be yourself? – Kelly
“Does the opinion of others really matter?” -- Kelly

Anyway, that’s all fro the show since it has ended and there will be little chance that I will be able to watch it again, unless Channel U rebroadcast at a convenient timing.

Feeling imperfect makes it hard to accept criticism during drum practice, maybe even beyond the 8 hours of drum to life. However, remembering the last quote, I realized that I am overly sensitive.

Till next time.

ONg LAi

Dilligence

(I'm getting addicted to taking photos on my phone.)

Harlow.

I'm learning the Blues recently and I think the Blues has got the better side to me, especially on the music side of me.

I went for piano class yesterday totally unprepared. End result? I wasted both the teacher's and my time. She say some words to me yesterday before i left for home,

"Why don't you go learn Singing? A Pianist have to play the piano until he is confused. ... With all the instruments around, the Pianist is the most hardworking, followed by the violinist." -- Miss Leong Xiao Yan

Knowing her intention at heart, I thank her for saying words slanted at this angle because it was kind of her and impactful for me. I spend the whole night and this morning thinking about practices.

In the past, i treated practices as a second priority, practicing when I'm free, skipping class. Things have to change. To not waste the money invested, not letting down my piano teacher and lastly myself, i got to practice hard.

Of course, this applies to drum as well. Being a percussionist, i suck at drum. Actually, i suck at music. Being a sucky person, i got to use something else to compensate for this. HARDWORK. This might jolly well be the one best life lesson I learned from Mr Lee, since leaving secondary school.

"If you are not as smart, then practise hard to make-up for that in order to achieve the same standards." -- Mr Lee Kah Chin

To stack things up, I have been reading Tony's blog time to time and his entry after the omega performance, I sort of have some enlightenment regarding his serious (and somewhat moment of pissed feelings) outlook on us as performers. He articulate some unwritten rules that has been in the air. Although his entry hurts to a certain degree, I can't help to agree on the things that he said.

in point form, this is my response to what he mentioned.

• Red Cliff was really nice. will be watching the sequel too.
• High expectation can lead to high quality, but the pressure must be channelled correctly.
• Performance mood have to be prepared, i agree.
• ouch, my rhythm sense is offended.
• "think for the group, act for the group"
• Buck up Buck up = more practise for me.
• thanks for letting me know how you think with ZingO, it helps :]

Got to end here so I can go school and study.

But i have to say thank you to Miss Leong, Mr Lee and Tony before i go. They contribute to part of my life lessons.

Hopefully, i can smile like this about music someday after hardwork.

Regards,
ONg LAi

A trip to Changi

Went to Changi today, been there before, but today, i saw it's other side of it. I went alone to racky the chalet for ZingO end of year chalet. Being alone, my thoughts of the place are not affected by the comments of others. For example, my last visit to Changi was for a scouts' camp at Ubin, with the rest of the scouts, burden with food supplies and equipment, all was half excited and the other half unhappy that the camp is going to be cut short from three days to two. It was not really pleasant, especially for those who were the campers and the others who are the planners, that would be everyone except mr Lee, perhaps didn't understand the spirit of camping at that point of time. Hence, complains about the stuff being heavy, the sea smelled even more salty than it usually was, the fares for the bum-boats to Ubin were super expensive, etc. was heard. Inevitably, my spirit and attitude towards Ubin and Changi was affected for the worse. Since then, i never really gave a second thought to that place.

Changing the view from the rear mirror to the front of my life vehicle (ME), I used some time walking around Changi, not Ubin because i didn't have time to take the boat ride, from the Yatch Club chalet to the Beach Walk, to Changi Village and to the Changi Beach Park. It was great to take things at my own pace and being alone prevented distractions. I got some ideas of how the chalet activities and schedules would be after the time by the coastal line of Changi. A simple world of SAF power over the chalets and the smell of salt, polluted by the boats and rubbish found on the surface of the waters. I think looking at the sea relaxes the mental self. All the defense mechanism and skeptical thoughts slowly vanished, as thought left with my footsteps on the footpath.

Took this photo on my phone's camera and edited as well. Somehow, it looks really nice. Although the angle is learnt from one of the photos i saw before, the meaning of the photo is really different. This photo means alot, but I don't know how to put it into words.

I like the photo, do you?

ONg LAi

Summer Life.

Finally, the hextic 6 weeks of MGB(organisational behaviour) and MGI(Human resources management) is over. Saying good bye to Dr. David Whitehead (but not the stuff he taught us), i am kind of glad that we managed to survive the 2 courses with such great project grades!

anyway, i like working with my groups quite alot and the class environment was great with grouping and coordination going along. It is an enjoyable half semester. Let's hope the next half will be slightly more relaxed.

I lived my life since last entry with great experiences.

i lived past miscommunication with emails.

i lived past 2 crazy exams.

i lived with planning for the future.

i lived by being a caffine addict, drinking starbucks, with my books.

i lived choosing tough decisions.

i lived by my motto, "do things to the fullest and leave no regrets."

i'm tired and confused.

night pple!

YuJun

PHOTOS FROM FLIPSIDE

I GOT THE PHOTOS FROM FLIPSIDE!!

Thank you very much to Pui Yee and photography club friends, although a truthful comment form me would be to get more angles while taking the photos, and to give more exposure to others parts of the stage, other than where you can comfortably take photos while polishing the seat out.

Other than that, thank you very much for coming down and taking the photos and supporting the first show, which wasn't our usual standards. Sorry to put up such a lousy performance on the first night.

Here are the photos.

Blogger is giving lots of problems for me posting such fat-sized files. So til next time.

ONg LAi

Life's gooder.

HelloOOOOO!

if you can't see my title for this entry, it's "Life's Gooder". Well, it's getting better than before but then it's still not perfect yet, "who have a perfect life?" you may ask. The question might be too philosophical for me to answer, so just treat it as food for thought.

Dividing my life into sections for easy reading, in sense that after reading the heading and decide to either read on or skip it depending on interest, you are given the right to do that. I am good to you right?? HaHa. just joking. getting serious.

NOW
It's raining at Yishun at this time, 2248hrs. Moderate-strong winds was blowing just now, but it had just down-sized to low-moderate wind which drastically chill the whole flat(apartment) down. It's that kind of weather that creates an atmosphere you wish that you have a cuppa of hot chocolate and play your beloved PSP games, read your favourite book and spend some quiet time alone while listening to the rain. Yea, it's cool but then life isn't a fantasy in reality. I have my sister disrupting my peace with her Sentosa-holiday plans. That does not help a brother doing his schoolwork and trying to finish projects. On top of that, Mom and Dad just reach home and starts asking loads of questions. It's good to talk, but seriously now's not the time. The thing i hate most of these situations is that I cannot talk back and ask them to buzz off. I admit that i am conditioned to reply to their conversation for 2 main reasons; one is that this is the short half an hour i get o talk to them in a day and if i don't talk to them, they might send me off to temples to get 'holy; advice thinking i am nuts. So that sums up the NOW part.

ZingO
As i mentioned before, ZingO is too integrated into my life for me not to blog about it and surprisingly, you can Google my blog by typing in ZingO Drums. LOL to that. Recently, after Death Of A Hero participation, came "FlipSide". Initially, most of us dreaded this performance as the time period for this performance and it's practice is supposedly our REST period. And the requirements are tough. A 30 minute performance of fun and light-hearted performance. WHOA! That was not what we are used to, stepping out of the comfort zone was tough, but luckily there was Death Of A Hero to help with that.

As time and practices went past us in our course of preparation, things went rapidly fast and the first performance was up. ZingO has the limitation in areas of "seeing things as audience". If we are all equipped with it, i doubt we will be drumming, but we have good friends to help with that. Benjamin, Doris and Zenna came and watch our impromptu/last-minute-changed performance on the first night. On a side note, Pui Yee got her photography friends and watch the first show as well. Trying to get the photos from her ASAP, and might post a few up.

The first show can be considered a disaster, "the flow was not oriented", "it was a flat show", "like ACES day" (internal comment), *applause was weak*. You know, all the sign and symptoms of a weak performance started surfacing during the show. As a performer, during the show, I have to act happy rather then be happy. HAIZ. deep depression.

But with comments and advice form Benjamin and Doris, Chun Ann (who have to credited for the script,drumming and choreography and communicating with the Esplanade personnel) rearranged the performance and the next day, the whole performance is different. Not to say that chun ann should be gloating, I'm just crediting not praising. There is a difference between the two. The saying goes "Singaporeans can't be praised or else they will ya-ya-banana."

perhaps after the first performance, due to low morale of a lousy show, everyone had the mental preparation to work hard and suffer more. In other word, the whole performers that day were more focused and extra efforts were imputed to training and performance. I like that; it re-ignited the dying flame of performer, a group and a passion. It felt like our performance at Thomas CC some time ago after seeing a Japanese group performed. Our spirits at that CC were charged up and later, we put up a great show, or so as the audience said.

After the second performance then i truly realise the importance of this state of mind, of being low in moral and wanting to do better. According to Shi Xiong's Terminology, it's call the "suffering" attitude, the willingness to give in more and not be complacent. However, the crux of this attitude is that it is hard to create artificially, easier to let the environment to create it. With the dependence of the environment factors, it reduced the control-bility. What we can do is to remind us constantly the two incident of what happened and not allowing it to re0occur.

The second performance won praises and applause from the audience. my statement to the second show is that "We won back our esteem as ZingO." Done as a group and each individual gave more form what they normally does. maybe that's ZingO. The only two regrets are that we done a bad show on the first day and those who watched the first show may have a bad impression on us, especially pui yee, who even brought her friends. haiz, can't be help. Just hope to get the first performance de photos from her asap. Miss Chee pui Yee, pls try to keep your evenings free for coffee meeting.

SchoolWork
"One minute spent is worth two minutes spent from May 20th to June 29th" that summarize my school life with 2 courses compressed to be finished in half a semester. It is really hectic and i'm taking a break from school work to blog, just in case if you were wondering. Research papers due dates are really coming close and both group de draft one are not out yet (I'm am partially responsible for that), so 4 times the hardwork now. Shall not talk too much to create boredom.

MISC
went to watch "auto auto" on sunday night, before the Human Resources Management mid-term exam. You know those days that you let your irrational-ism get the better side of you? It was what happened during the past weekend and the "auto auto" performance was to tell myself that i had to get back my rational-ism. but it was a enjoyable weekend with fun performance, as a performer as well as a audience. Watching a Car being transformed into a "grand Piano" is absolutely great. the whole show is great, the lights, technical aids, performer's effort, script, props were greatly used. Well, maybe not that great, there's one thing i am picking on and that is the main performer's energy level dropped when his co-performer did a error in smashing the window instead of creating a convertible with 4 windows. That's how i saw it, different people have different views thou.

Alright, this post have been posted in an condensed manner, and i have to get back to research papers.

till next time!!

ONg LAi
"Life's a PERFORMANCE"

That bad

Hello!

Ok, good news people!! i'm not blogging because i am feeling down, emo or sad by life events.

Wahaha, surprising huh? especially to perry, who highlighted to me that my blog sounds all so emo and sad. well, my blog is kinda like me with only my negative feelings written down. Or to say that i dun wanna or dun have the motivation to blog about the happy things about my life. It's like telling people what i want and this form of self-disclosure is kind of threatening. Just thinking people know you well enough to predict your behaviour and how you think is a scary thought, and this form of power, is better left to people who i interact with face to face and in the first and second circles of my social circles (i think i have 5 circles) and not to people who i have never seen before and may use this power to control me. [Definition class-- Power: the ability to exert control over someone to do what he wishes]

But then today, i think i am going to make an exception, thanks to Suh Seung Won and her wonderful mom. Today, technically yesterday, i got a bag of kimchi (for those who don't know what it is, fermented Chinese cabbage, Korean style) from Seung Won!! she brought it to class for me!! it stinks a little but then we ensured that we wrapped it well enough to not bring other Kimchi fans to a state of exhilaration, like i did when i saw her with the Kimchi and smelt it. wahahahah. i had to wrap it up for another reason and that is to keep the kimchi chill until i got home at 1900hrs. when i reached home and tasted it, i was feeling happy in a way that i have not felt for perhaps 1 year, i suppose.

THE POWER OF KIMCHI!!

the taste was superb; the blandness of the Chinese cabbage is being infused with the spiciness and tint of sourness of the Korean seasoning is very well balanced. just the scent/stench of the kimchi was enough to cause arousal and upon tasting, all my taste buds were close to over-reacting. if they could talk, i think i would have been told hurry cook some rice to eat with kimchi. haha, luckily there was still some self control governing my mental processes.

actually kimchi has another meaning to me as well, perhaps that's what accounts for the one year absence of exhilaration in me. but then, i guess, only i know it well and partially regret it well.. but then history can't be altered.

i was telling Yi Fen, that for my birthday, i don't mind receiving Kimchi, at least dun expect me to carry it around (that contradicts with what i told Valentia about my bag being heavy with kimchi but i dun mind because it is kimchi. lol.) haha, people, you know what to do!! i' joking, seriously.

That's the happy part of me. after reading so much, there might be one idea popping in your mind right now-- "wa seh, YJ/ONg LAi is so easy satisfied with Kimchi. superficial guy".I'm not blaming you for coming to that conclusion about me. however, that's why i dun like to blog about the happy stuff about my life, cause people judge easily and jump to conclusions. I don't ask for much (it's a matter of perspective) and sometimes, i'm amused by how little things can make me feel in different ways. like kimchi with exhilaration and drums with serious thinking.

"oh well, isn't is the same for the emo stuff you posted in your blog before?"

hell yea, it is.

the happenings in my life is only partially posted on my blog, and it may not be totally true, what i post and what i experience. It may be the high intensity part of my life that is recorded here, but life's does consist more than just the intensified parts, there's the not-so- and not- intensified part of life to moderate these emotional away.

All i'm trying to express here is to not only depend on my blog to read me, although it maybe a good guide to follow along.

i'm losing coherence here with all these free writing.

ending here. but before that,

-ZingO Performance at Esplanade's Flipside!

-6th and 7th of June 2008 2200hrs @ the PowerHouse (outdoors)

-Flipside is organised by Esplanade, Theatres on the Bays to show case the fun side of the arts.

-ZingO will be experimenting with a fun and light-hearted style of festival drumming.

*magic word appearing*

--fREE aDMISSION--

-pls do come and support if you are free and interested.

YuJun/ONg LAi
"life's a performance"

confusion?

Harlow friends.

sorry for not updating my blog for a long time; not posting new entries, not changing the skin, not updating my tunes, etc. I know you'll, if not already gotten bored with my blog after coming to my blog for the many many times and not seeing anything new. but then i will try to post more often since i figure out that i should set aside more time for myself after the Death of a Hero production.

Things has been rough and fast paced for me right now, with another esplanade performance coming up on 6 & 7 June. We are preparing for this performance without the luxury of time and other resource such as a practice venue. Well, since we have been thrown this challenge, we have to do it. That's what being in ZingO is, able to accept the challenges thrown to you at times you do not expect. However, being thrown challenges is only partially what i have been thinking about, in ZingO.

I'm actually sick of my pathetic GPA of 3.2, but then i ask myself, what activities took away my studies times and lesson time. After that, the next shove of words comes into my ear -- complains of choosing Exams over ZingO. That leads to me questioning myself, was it right to turn up for rehearsals for Death Of a Hero when I had exams the next day, the next week? It all boils down to expectation and priorities; some people can actually forsake family, work for passion but then there are people who remain deeply rooted in the dynamics of their life from passion.

And I wonder if my priorities ans expectation are so empirically different from others that I am being so differentiated and isolated (mentally). "Expectations lead to satisfaction, and not fulfilling the expectation creates dissatisfaction", that's a quote from my textbook. Somehow some sort, i always link my textbook materials to ZingO, thinking how it will apply with the real working world. For that, i actually have to thank ZingO for giving me the chance to imagine things in the business world.

Recently, i am studying Organisation behaviour and it applies to ZingO when it talk about who is in which position and what is happening. Part of it is Restructuring, Exit. Maybe my useful time is up. Once a utility is up, there is no point in managing it, it should be thrashed. Luckily for me, there's NS at the end of the year(supposedly) for me to be thrashed out and then later inspected for further usage. Well, face it, people are hypocritical, when you are useful, you are treated properly and people know where you stand. Otherwise, you know you are losing your status and purpose, at this junction of life why not take a left turn and exit this form of passion?

Confusion right now.

bye.

Annoucement!

Death Of A Hero has successfully ended!!

it is a awesome production created by the hardwork of everyone involved!! Thank you millions to the cast, production team and Drummer boys( as how we are always termed)..

Due to IP of Esplande and Puppet Square, i dun feel safe posting the photos up, sorry for that..

then after the Death of a Hero performance on the last day, i got a sms from XIAO JUN WEN. the sms says that my blog entry (on 10th of April) make it sounds and looks as if xjw has boycotted ZingO.. Hence, you see me here, trying to clear his name.. Out of any intentions, having my blog entry sounding like that is not, i repeat, NOT what i had in mind when i wrote that post.. it was to let you peeps know who asked that question, since many in ZingO are asking the same question and i do not want to cause you thinking hard about who the person is. And if you are one of those people who have an misunderstanding with that post, pls read the following text very carefully. Xjw asked that question only to find out why i, maybe the others involved, why we are able to remain in ZingO under such pressure of a theatre production, with all the rehearsals and expectations. It is not, i repeat, not to serve as a 'boycott' purpose..

Case closed.

ME.

Hello,

I guess I am going to hate myself at a later time, since I should be doing my computer stastics homework (online homework DO NOT work for me and if you are wondering if that's one reason why i'm here, YA) or sleeping and ensuring that i get enough rest for tomorrow, for the rehearsal at Esplande. I'm running out of time but then I'm still a bloody procrasinator.

anyway, i'm in the 'kind-of-feeling-down' mood and i went to hend and told him i want booz. That is seriously unexpected of me. I read all the blogs on my link list and different blogs tells a different story and with their powers combined, it made me feeling down right now. Hmm, especially with Jia Jia's blog, composed in chinese, used a really depressing tone to describe her encountance with the social norms and expectation we have upon our environment. Then reading Myrin's blog, too much jarcon and abbreviation on her blog for me to digest her text but the skin goes "Will you notice me?" plus hend informing me that Zhen's house warming is tomorrow with me being "shrouded in darkness".. No offence to !19 people because even if I knew about the party, I still won't be able to turn up because of drum. You guys know me well enough to realise that an invitation for saturday events won't work on me so you omited me from the invitation list. I understand. Then i move to reading other blogs and finally coming back to mine. It felt, and still do, that I have disconnected from the world. On top of that, Jia Jia mentioned about taking the uncovential route and breaking free from the environmental expectation imposed on us, futhers clog my brain with questions.

Who is Torna?
What is Lobo's vechicle plate number?
Will i further walk away from the convnetial route?
Will i find my identity and position is society?
i want to know.

Pictures from a bus trip from Lavender to Sembawang.

i like this picture, it feels and looks dark.

like the parallel feeing.

my close-up

Nostalgia Clip, no longer in use but still funtion as an Art of History.

ONg LAi aka YuJun