ME.

Hello,

I guess I am going to hate myself at a later time, since I should be doing my computer stastics homework (online homework DO NOT work for me and if you are wondering if that's one reason why i'm here, YA) or sleeping and ensuring that i get enough rest for tomorrow, for the rehearsal at Esplande. I'm running out of time but then I'm still a bloody procrasinator.

anyway, i'm in the 'kind-of-feeling-down' mood and i went to hend and told him i want booz. That is seriously unexpected of me. I read all the blogs on my link list and different blogs tells a different story and with their powers combined, it made me feeling down right now. Hmm, especially with Jia Jia's blog, composed in chinese, used a really depressing tone to describe her encountance with the social norms and expectation we have upon our environment. Then reading Myrin's blog, too much jarcon and abbreviation on her blog for me to digest her text but the skin goes "Will you notice me?" plus hend informing me that Zhen's house warming is tomorrow with me being "shrouded in darkness".. No offence to !19 people because even if I knew about the party, I still won't be able to turn up because of drum. You guys know me well enough to realise that an invitation for saturday events won't work on me so you omited me from the invitation list. I understand. Then i move to reading other blogs and finally coming back to mine. It felt, and still do, that I have disconnected from the world. On top of that, Jia Jia mentioned about taking the uncovential route and breaking free from the environmental expectation imposed on us, futhers clog my brain with questions.

Who is Torna?
What is Lobo's vechicle plate number?
Will i further walk away from the convnetial route?
Will i find my identity and position is society?
i want to know.

Pictures from a bus trip from Lavender to Sembawang.

i like this picture, it feels and looks dark.

like the parallel feeing.

my close-up

Nostalgia Clip, no longer in use but still funtion as an Art of History.

ONg LAi aka YuJun

Story Time.

Hello, posting something i received from Shi Ting long ago.

Here it goes,

"My husband is a scientist by profession, I love him for his steady-being nature, and I love the warm feeling while lean against his broad shoulder.Three years in the courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, I am getting tired of it, the reasons of me loving him before has now transform into the cause of all the restlessness. I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive and exquisite when it comes to relationship and feelings, I yearn for romantic moments, as though a little boy yearning for candy. And my husband, is just a contrast of me, his lack of sensitivity, and of all, inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I want a divorce.
'Why?' he asked, shocking.
'I am tired, there aren't reasons for everything in the world' I answered.

He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thoughts the whole night with cigarette lighted all the times.

My feeling of disappointment is getting intense, a man who can't even express his detainment, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked:' What can I do to change your mind?' Somebody said it right, it's hard to change a person's personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him.

Look deep into his eyes and I slowly answered: 'Here is a question, if you can find the answer in my heart, I will change my mind, Let say, I love a flower at a mountain cliff, and we both sure that the making you to pick the flower will cause death, will you do it for me?' He said:' I will give you your answer tomorrow....'My heart just sinks by listening to his respond.

The next morning, he was not around, and I saw a piece of paper with his scratching writing, underneath a glass of warm milk, It goes....Dear,'I would not pick that flower for you, but please allowed me to further explain the reasons” this first lines has already break my heart. I continue reading. 'You can only type with computer and always messed up the programs in the PC, and cries in front of screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always left the house key behind, I have to save my legs to rush home for opening the door for you. You love travelling but always lose your way in a new city; I have to save my eyes to leads you the way. You always have the cramp whenever your 'good friend' approach every month, I have to save my palm so that I can calm the cramp at your tummy. You like to stays indoor, and I worries that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stared at the computers, and that do no good to your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow older, I can help to clip your nails, and help to removed those annoying white hairs. I will hold your hand, stroll down the beach, enjoying the sunshine and the beautiful sands... tell you the colour of flowers, just like the glow on your young face... Thus, my dear, before I am sure there is someone who loves you more than I do... I would not pick the flower, and die... 'My tears drop on the letters, and blurred the ink of his hand writing... and I resume my reading...'

And now, dear... you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied with these answers, please open the door of our house, I am standing there, with your favourite bread and fresh milk... I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, with his hand holding tight on the milk and bread.... Oh I am sure no one ever loves me as much, and now I have decided to leave the flower alone...

That's life, or some said, love, when one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fade away, and one tend to ignore the true love lies in between the peace and dullness. Love shows in any form, even a very little and corny form, it has never been a model, it could be the most incurious form... flowers, romantic moments is only the buckish formed on the surface of the relationship.Under all this, the pillar of truelove stands... and that's our life...I hope everyone enjoyed reading it... love, but not words win the arguments..." *changed colour for Zi Ming.

touching story. even reading it time after time, it still induce the feeling to be more serious in a relation; looking back and finding myself foolish.

pls do comment. thanks.

ONg LAi

Death of a Hero.

Hello!
doing advertising on my blog here..

This is a story about a Hero, a prophecy, and a quest to rid the world of all evil. It is also a story about the 100th Demon. the cause of all chaos, the maker of the Hero.
Will the Hero fall when he meet the 100th Demon, the greatest of them all?



Title: Death of a Her0
Date: 1-3 May 2008, Thursday to Saturday
Time: 8pm to approx. 9.10pm (this is a 70 minutes play but due to the 'live' nature, time may vary slightly
Venue: Esplanade Theatre Studio
Ticket Price: $25 (concession for students, NSF and senior citizens: $20)
Performed in Mandarin, English and some dialects as well.
Advisory:This production contains coarse language.

Why should you go??

-This is a play with humor, meaning, horror, good vs evil and romance.
-Chun Ann (model for the poster), Tony aka Hiu Tung, Ruo Han, myself and some other ex-CCHYians will be performing some minor roles and handling the percussion music, hope you will support.
-May 1st is Labor Day, supposedly, everyone would be free. Otherwise there's Friday and Saturday!!

I will be involved in this play playing some of the percussion music and minor roles in this 70 minute play brought to you by The Puppet Square and percussion music by ZingO. Due to the fact that you are seeing only the front of this flyer, i have listed down the details about the play below. This is keeping my life pretty busy on top of schooling, a lot of hard work and efforts and been put into this play, so i hope you guys and ladies can go support if interested.

Thanks.

ONg LAi

Dreams

Harlow!!

been long since i have not blogged.. peeps who missed my blog entries, i apologise. But the person who might be affected is myself, looking back in life and regretting it when things are forgotten.

Hence,i'm here to record my life down.

For the past weeks it has been kind of hectic for me, both mental and physical; getting more quick-tempered and getting really weak (cough+ flu+ heatiness currently) as a main result of not getting enough sleep. Why you might ask, but if you have read ruo han or zi ming (new)blog or tony or edvwin's blog, you'll know the answer. Life has been filled with Drum practice and Drama rehearsal. So much that my MSN nick has been changed to "Yu Jun is blind to the obvious, On the edge of breaking down and Missing out personal life. However, for his (artist's)sake, will persevere and hope that others won't mind and support 'Death of A Hero' ".. That is basically a summary of my life and emotions. According to Sing Chun, i'm 'seow on' drums now: Wed-teach YYSS drums, Thur-Drama rehearsal, Fri-Drama rehearsal, Sat- Drum practice in the morning, Drama in the evening, Sun-work for family, Mon-teach Drum at YYSS.. hmm, Tuesday is DAY-OFF!! well, my week routine is basically disturbed. but nonetheless, i will push myself to the limit in hope that the return sense of achievement will be good.

then yesterday after the YOG appreciation dinner with some ZingO-ians at Orchard Hotel, with a tummy fulled of average tasting food, it was only a short while before i dozed off to get rest, expecting to get well this morning. During the sleep from 2300hrs to 0830hrs, i recall one dream that i felt really good. That's the strongest motivation for me to post this blog. Perhaps due to the fact that i have not had such a long sleep for ages and i could snooze after my phone rang in the alarm mode that i can recall the dream. The content of the dream is personal, so i won't go into the details, but roughly, it was a departure and then i found the person (read: non-human entity, just came to me in a human form). When the person left with me, i got that feeling that still lingers and resides in me now. I've been thinking about the dream all th day; during breakfast, during wearing contact lens, during taking the bus, while looking the gorgeous girl at the counter, during lectures, during lunch, well, you get my point.

What leaves me pondering is should i look for this person? i've never seen this person before, i cannot remember the look on the face, i cannot remember the feature, only the feeling. Hmm, generally the majority of life would just brush off my question by saying that it's just a dream and just that, nothing else. But irrationally, i feel the urge to ponder over the question further unlike the majority and hopefully get a answer or direction.

Another thing that i wanna record down would be a talk that i had with xiao jun wen, or rather an answer that he dug out off me during dinner. he asked "why are you still in ZingO?" Half stunned and halfway in thinking mode, i gave several reasons(7 actually) why i am still in ZingO. i have the temptation of writing an research paper to support my ideas and reasons. well, if i have had the time, i would. (trust me, i'm not being lazy here. maybe i'll work on it during the holidays) The origin of this temptation actually come from me wanting to answer the long-un-answered-question and to let my other friends who have undefined plans to know what i feel and determine if we have common ground, common reasons for us being in ZingO. Some of the reasons i highlighted are as followes.

1. the Zodiacs are still here in ZingO
2. i would not have a life without being involved in ZingO (read: i devoted my life at ZingO)
3. there is a sense of achievement when accomplishing the tasks and performance on hand.
4. i can learn a lot of things (drama, props making, drums, etc) from being actively involved in ZingO
5. Passion

that's all for today, as well as class ends.

ONg LAi

I need to breathe.

Hello there!!

It has been a really long time since i did a proper blog entry for the reasons that i had to divert my blogging hours to my COMMS blog which has ended, second being that there are lots of exams and quizzes, and lastly, it's the project-ing buzzing my time around. To summarize, school matters.

Hmm, after such a long period without a decent entry in my blog, i wonder if i will look back in life and find missing chapters in my life (or not remember them at all). Hence, in the midst of projects, i found today and tonight to unwind all the frustrations and pissed-off emotions with friends and blogging i suppose.

From the last proper post, i took my mid terms exams (scored only 60s and 70s), i went to drama, drum and wushu (learnt many types of stretching and warm up), watched movies (AUGUST RUSH!), went to performance(at PS), worn my body out, and did group projects which made me really fed-up at times.

However, i faced with another rejection of a date. Intially, taking the rejection into my stride, it was all ok here and there and hopes were still high. However, as time pass by and projects and other matters of life flood my timetable, i placed a less significant on this issue, which made me disappointed, followed by disencouraged by "i'm not interested". Anyway, i will not give up!! have to re evaluate my strategies.

All of the above made kinda suffocated in life and today was breathing day. Many people, when getting depressed, allow their life to sink down to the drains and then live miserably and they PRAY(Push Until Something Happens). As the typical Leo, our reactions to these situation are different. TO feed our ego and restore pride as the King, we live life better than before. I allowed my wallet strings (male version of purse strings) loose and indulged with clothes. Thereafter, i asked janice, ruo han and tony out to sing KTV. However, Tony could not turn up die to sickness of the body. ANway, we had fun at TOP-ONE in bugis. it was relatively cheaper and the hardware was definitely better than K-box. The software still has room for improvements.

And tonight, no project emails that can send my blood boiling and personally, i want to take a breather and rest early tonight.

ONg LAi

P.S. Evan, i'm making this clear to you, I WILL TRY HARDER!

NICE SONG!!

ZingO recruitment Drive (Mar 08')

Hello guys and gals!


ZingO will be holding our Second recruitment. The poster says it all. hope to see ya!



Regards,

Yu Jun



*sorry for the 'su-bian-ness' of this post for something so serious. need sleep.

Get me DRUNK..

give me loads of alcohol to get me drunk; only then i will lossen up and finally find an excuse for myself to act irrationally.

Sorry for not blogging actively for the past weeks.

Life have been busy and i feel abnormal still.

(maybe it's because all my friends out there are not tagging.)

Give me some alcohol and get me drunk.

Then give me some coffee the next day to start life all over again.

Your depressed Leo.

Your spendthrif Leo.

Your self-contained Leo.

Strained.

Singapore Won the YOG!

(well, being at Padang got me so excited anyway)

i just read a couple of stuff before breakfast and led a life with and without a leader,a colleague,and without a friend. Woa, for me, it was bullshit. First, we're not robots to be programmed so much that we can switch on and off emotions; secondly, i knew you were scheming, but now, i recognised that you are as hypocritical as a coin. Thanks for letting me see that hypocrite side of yours, if it doesn't spoilt our relations, it most probably will strengthen it, as they say, "what won't kill you makes you stronger". After so many years, with the recent ones having more interaction, i understand now, i can not think too highly of a person to be morally, image-ly and friend-like upright. To think i saw you in awe and respect was given. Criticism i can take and absorb it in, your acts, i take it as betrayal.

we often bu suang abt the happenings in drum, then we ask ourselves from the end of the practice to right before leaving the house for practice, " why we're still going to drum practice since it really doesn't provide the motivation/incentive to go?" and many a times, if not all the times (til now that someone breach it) we leave the question unanswered to store up all the doubts and "Just do it!" as Nike says it.

Reading those two emails, changed my perception and mode of thinking. if you wanted performers' thinking, good for you, i have it. but a performer is on stage to express emotions, and hopefully the emotionally-charged me can express the kind of emotion you want.

Thanks again, for making me mature even more then it hasn't.

Best Regards,

Yu Jun

Tool.

unintention aims and sorrys isn't really effective.

5 minutes of blogging.

Harlow, avid fans of my web-log.

joking there, dun take it too seriously.

have not touched my blog for quite a while and i am not going to allow monthsary on my blog.

and here i am giving myself 5 minutes to blog before 0000hrs and the log in took 3 minutes, left with 2, so giving myself 5 more minutes.

Filling in the missing chapter of my blog,

• been trying to do my comms blog intensely but always distracted. but the quality of the posts there is not bad.
• had loads of intense drum practice that sparks flew and burnt relations. and i thought F5 key would work after the clock struck 3pm that day. i'm soryy if my tone was too harsh.
• school work is piling up and so are the projects and assignments.
• with SP students having a 2.5 months hoilday and TP, NP gg into their exams stage, preparing for the holidays is not helping my mood to be a studious student.
• little confidence with the subjects this semster.
• Medical check-up on the 29th of Feb, hope things will go differently on the leap year.
• Performance at Padang on thursday for the Youth Omlypics Bid Results at around 5~6pm. give some support yea?
• Major performance #1 on Sat, no details yet, awating for the meeting tmr to shed some light into my dark plight.
• to do list of life is not clearing up.
• grandma is out of the hospital now, feeling better.
• Facebook and friendster ignored.
• YYSS drum sec1s are coming tmr!! expecting it.
• and i over run with my 5 minute limit.

sleeptime!

NIght pple!!

ONg lAi/ Yu Jun

i'm neglecting my blog

sorry for the stagnation of my blog entries, been abit held up with life, family, schoolwork and maybe a bit of human nature to be lazy plus all those all-time popular excuses.

however since my sch work do require me to blog abt my communications life, you can take a look and comment on my wordpress blog.

Thank you.

Yu Jun/ ONg LAi

ouch.

Harlow!

gonna keep this post real short using point form.

• i strained my back due to a very ambitious aim of 12 times on(technically under) the 30kg barbell.
• i haven done my comms blog for this week, thinking of what to write, no inspiration due to the next post.
• ACCOUNTING MID-TERMS IS AT NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT! afraid that the morning person me won't do well (on top of me being so blur with accounting).
• a few days back, Perry is named 'strawberry' by me!! start calling him that ya? and i found out he is sensible in a way or two. *wowwww*
• Chiong-ing UGC project tmr after the acctg mid-term. procrastinator yu jun hasn't done any research yet. -.-
• i'm sore, but then i can't be sorry for myself.
• you might be thinking, "wa, he has a mid-term tmr, at this time still dun sleep here to blog, seow one." --- well, i dunno why i had the sudden urge to blog as well, maybe i am emotionally(majority fear and anxiety) challenged. who knows?
• so gonna get some rest now.
• Night!

YuJun.

a translation of a Chinese quote from Danny Ho Kar Wai, "my love for you is meant for you to be the sole audience, not for others to regard it as a performance." oh well, so true.

school life rocks.

harlow pple!

in the midst of boring school life going abt, i'm here to share a video with you guys (and gals).


*credits to belson for the link

hmm, although school life is mundane and boring to a certain extend, it seem to especially entertaining today. well, i have the funny videos like the one above to entertain myself, and it is a distraction that i truly enjoy, while forgetting the pent-up and mixed feelings of NS. hmm, i would like to serve the country and enjoy the 2 years of hardship and enjoyment with a bunch of other strangers as a typical Singaporean, however, i realised today that there are certain things i can't let go now. (it sounds like i am dead and can't leave my family and loads of other 'important' stuff right now, hahas for that).

hmm, a few things i can't let go.

1) my studies: i'm kinda worried that my brain might turn even more retard after almost 2 years without touching the syllabus and books. on a brighter tone, my thinking will be more matured and one day get really really good grades. (as if that will happen -.- , i keep telling myself)

2) ZingO performances: well, there's like 3 major breakthrough performances this year, and if i get enlisted too early this year, then i might actually have to miss 2 of these performance. on top of the glory and sense of achievement that i might get from these performances, i actually have a more tangible motivation for the desire to perform at these performances. i want to do these major performances with my "drum cum scouts mates" A.K.A 12 zodiacs(actually 10 left in the performing crew). erm, i might be thinking too much and overestimating my existence in ZingO, but then i see it in a way that the performing crew is shorthanded and the substitutes(if there is) may not be so 'gumm'(on the same frequencies/easy to work with) compared to me. i want to perform for them, and perform for ZingO.

3) ZingO manpower,the time is not ripe yet: just heard from teck wee that Xjw and Djw will be out of NS in March and June next year. so i want to pull through this year so as long to pass YYSS, all the other duties to the right people to do the job, since most of us ZingO pple are near to maximum mobilisation, without teck we,, edvwin, and Zi Ming having to study yet.

yea, that's pretty much of me, looking myself in a light greater than it actually is, overestimating my self-worth. well, idols of the tribe. everyone does that at some points of their lives and this is one of mine.

ok, got to blog at my other blog that is part of the requirement of my Communication course.

till next time then.

ONg LAi

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

Harlow!

haven been touching my blog for sometime, sorry abt that. when you are busy with the same few stuff that doesn't require you to use the computer cum Internet, you kinda forget that you have a laptop with good connection at home and you neglect your blog and so on so forth. but that won't happen for maybe until April. well, at least i think and hope i have time for both of my blogs, since i have to create a blog on wordpress for my new course, COM101's assignment, and that is to have a communication blog. well, i will come back to the communication blog again later.

from the last post, 5th Jan, til now, more or less 2 weeks, i have been doing 3 main activities; running as a form of exercise, working for my dad and lastly sleeping when i have the time. occasionally, i would go shopping for my new year clothes and maybe help out at a few (the third by tomorrow) CCA orientations at the various schools with festive drums. well, that's kinda boring but then i guess that's pretty much of my holidays. yea, so if you were interested with my holiday life, that's pretty much it.

today is the first day of school , well, i met with 3 of my lecturers and i can say they are pretty different from the previous lecturers, but then, who is completely in this world. out of the 3, 2 of them are from the States and for some weird reasons, maybe they practised hypnotism or really good at monotone speaking, the class environment was kinda like a graveyard with the only priest holding the ceremony, reading the names out from a list. on the perspective that i like quiet studying environment, i might survive the grave studying atmosphere after all. haha.

went to Vivo to get my CNY shopping done, now left with only the shoes. well, gonna get a cheap pair from the nearest BATA store or some lace like that. well, it's not me to get a pair of $100++ leather shoe that i am gg to crack it and soil it with dirt. maybe not now when my income is my allowance. hmm, i spent a lot already, hence, closing the shopping spreed soon.

ok, i'm pretty much tired with everything today, so sleep time. *haha, no school tmr, but then need to get started with my readings anyway. so tmr is gonna be running/working-out and reading day!!

ONg LAi