neglecting my blog again

hello peeps.

first up. reading an article from March Reader's Digest, I will try my best to say hi to 3 strangers daily. It seems like the particular journalist of that article has tried out saying hi to people for a month and gotten 11 benefits. so once again, HELLO!

if it sounds interesting, do give it a try, choose a number from 1 to 10 and say hi to that number of strangers starting today. of course not forgetting to say hi to those whom you have known and stop saying hi to and most importantly, yourself. Saying hi to yourself is much rewarding, as experienced by me this morning, thou tired and reluctant to wake up, i had a change of mood.

second, it's been close to one month that i have not been updating my blog and even my face book account seems dead. this is due to a bunch of closely related factors, like doing weekends duties(some volunteering and some as extra duties), attending the Army Half Marathon (which i didn't run due to a toe injury on the day just before the run), having BBQs while enjoying the companionship of some friends, one of which had left for the States to study. weekends pass by real fast and i don't really like to spend it sitting in front of the computer typing away. And when i do, I lack the resources to do so, since I'm in camp when i feel like doing so. so sorry for not being able or wanting to include little little details of what's been going on in my life.

thirdly, another overseas training is coming soon. flying away at the end of the month and returning just before a holiday. should be a trip with pleasant companionship but perhaps sub-standards of living coupled with enhance level of training.

gotta run to places, enjoy what' left of my precious book out.

running low on life enjoyment,
YuJun

re-learning and un-learning.

been decomposing at home for the past 6 days.

today, finally going back to camp. seems like my body has recovered about 91% or so. hope that i'll be allowed to do IPPT tmrw although I'm not too sure of what i can achieve since i have not been training nor exercising for the past week.

during these 6 days, i've tried to rest as much solely at home with the occasional trips out to get food and some items. otherwise, the time was spent on in front of my laptop. I finished watching naruto shipuden til the latest episode on crunchyroll.com and even the lastest manga on onemanga.com . it was so boring and exciting at the same time as the anime series was very draggy but providing thrills and twists time to time. but then watching all of the episodes isn't really enjoyable nor something i'm proud of. that was what i could do apart from sleeping.

tried to watch TV and do reading of both intellectual material and the non-intellectual. the latter belongs to the realm of comics and the former, reader digest, my financial book and some of my past notes. reading seems to be wrong at home. How i wished i could bask inside Starbucks a whole afternoon reading. but then being socially responsible, i didn't. come to think of it, i regretted a bit not doing that but assured a whole lot more that i didn't went out to spread my viruses to the other coffee lovers.

i also reconnected with the television, something that i disconnected after hitting 2nd semester. ahah. now looking at television, the glam and attractiveness of it seems to diminished and i don't really enjoy that. so it's so easy to disconnect that away and fit back to camp life.

i guess that the rule that don't allow us to go out on MC period is to prevent us from interacting too much with the 'outside' world and relearning too much of the stuff you do and really enjoy. when you re learn too much, the unlearn will be too much to handle and hence you dread going back to camp. maybe that is a continuous process for us every time we step out of the gates. but going through the gates is definitely much better than jailed at home.

done most of the preparations to book in tonight. maybe affected by book in feelings, the last few hours seem really precious, although i have nothing much to do.. haha.

sticking to listening to music and reading comics.

back to camp soon,
YuJun

not good.

today is the 3rd day of staying home to rest, even though the actual rest started only yesterday morning when i got home from camp. another 4 more days to go but i intend to request to return earlier.

a nasty combination of fever (highest temperature was 38.7 degree Celsius), flu, sore throat and cough. feeling bad since 1300hrs on Friday. waited and made do with with the ill feeling for hours by sleeping before i got medical attention. but then, it was for the greater benefit.

if you are concerned about my status, rest assured. I'm feeling much better as the fever has subsided and gotten enough rest to cause a backache and stiff joints.

get well soon to myself and back on track without the tired feelings.

recuperating,
YuJun

a disturbing feeling.

using my camp's Internet access to blog this right now.

perhaps being affected by being prepared to do a static line jump today and the jump being cancelled, i am feeling much disturbed by a separate incident.

yesterday, i realised that my presence to stay connected to the group is not really invited. I am serving my nation right now, hence i in the status of not being able to perform. but i still tried to go back to practice and go watch the performances. hmmm, after seeing what they do, i will give my comments. i know the comments are repeating itself and people get bored listening to them. however, looking at another angle, I not so interested into the repetitive nature of the comments but to remind all my fellow friends their mistakes they did, hoping they change for the better. xjw did not seems as outstanding during riverfest as compared to artfest09', small Edwin became more conscious of his stage actions, now tell me, is it my comments useless or is it that some people just won't hear what i say and improve themselves?

according to hearsay, my then dear 'manager' of the group has been in disapproval of my actions of watching the practices and performances giving comments. if he think that this form of feedback is not effective, i shall grant his wish.

have i turned into a obedient genie and fulfilling wishes of others? no, cause it is so much tougher to pay attention to the group than to just ignore. although i have a boring life, but book out time is precious still. ok i'll find other avenues to spend my time, far far away from my usual routine which, i can very much say, religiously followed for the past, hmmm, 2 years? even for the most boring and tedious practices, i still turned up. things change after you get enlisted. i am starting to think that my usage value is diminished and hence pushed off the stage. may that be for good.

agitated as well as upset,
YuJun

it's been a long time people.

hello people.



it's been a long time since i clisk on my keyboard on this 3-year old laptop blogging. so, here i'm in case you missed my presense in the information technology world.



reason for the lag in updating? hmmm, easy, above i mentioned that i am typing on a 3-year old laptop. and this beloved laptop has been through much with me, introducing me to the feeling of owning a computer for the first time, been through all the virus fighting after a year or maybe more of usage (the war still rages on time to time), letting cope with university life and finishing my projects and a whole lot of other stuff.

but it has been giving me trouble. need to move on i guess. so until then, i won't be blogging so often.

as they always say, "sorry for the uncovenience caused", sorry to myself i suppose.

sense of empty-ness

hi there.

looking at my tag board, the one who tagged as Surjono injected a slightly surprised and yet at the same time a old school touch on my heart. yes, I'm cheesy, on my heart.

Well. it's the kind of secondary school feeling when afternoons are spent lazy or with CCA friends. A 70th year anniversary mega dinner!! sounds like a high school reunion to me from many angles!!

Quite excited about it and hope all the CCHY'06 people will response to the reunion.. hope all the NSF can turn up too. Our time is precious!! since the bulk of it has been taken away by staying in the camps.

Have not update for quite some time already, well, as much as my excuse sound like a reason, I've been drained by the training in camps or out in the fields. whenever i get home on sat, there's the laundry to do. by the time i finish washing the clothes, it'll be a few hours before or just before dinner. Then I'll go out with some friends or find something to do.

last sat, was Min Fang's birthday celebrations! Didn't prepare much for the celebrations so I made an effort to make sure that we have fun that evening. and we did! with Hwan, Yu Hui, Min Fang, Johnson, Martin , [sorry to miss you out] SING CHUN and myself, we went from dinner at Mathattan's Fish Market to walking around Clark Quay and settling down at a Pub called ChinaOne. Had a drink or two and played with the pub's Wii set, which is quite fun until the crowd rushed in and destroyed our strings of laughter. What was really interesting for me and awkward for yu hui, was that we bumped into Jake. So the NSF had a catch up session and compared our army careers. Left on the train shortly so that Min Fang won't be too late to reach home. I was tired too.

then waking up to some light exercise on Sundays (which i have been lazy and ill-disciplined to maintain) I would spend most of my time at home, blogging, like now, or head out to the nearest cinema to catch a lonesome movie. watching movies alone is a enjoyable experience, especially movies that makes you think about issues. It's not that comedy are not nice but then I prefer substance. Substance like Watchmen. Oh yea, Legend of Chun Li sucked!

the whole movie was least stimulating, not at all paying attribute to the original video game which was tough, filled with violence and chun li had her hair tied in the shape of two buns and her ultimate move was to do a inverted split while knocking out people. I pity Kristen whose big screen opportunities might be shadowed by this movie. The director was sadly untalented in making a movie that should have been what it was titled. the biggest disappointment i had with the movie is that chun li in my memory worn a blue cheongsam with two buns of hair and some metal accessories that made her icon of tough femininity. Oh no, the directors had to make her 'school girl' whose only close resemblance to the Chun Li in my memory who clad herself in blue and two hair bun only when trying to seduce a lesbian minion of the big evil of the show. Second to the disappointment list consist of the pathetic voice overs which was to ensure that the audience understand what is the point that was to be conveyed. "If you can't use the magic of movie to do it, just use a voice-over!"--director of the movie. I'm not sure if it's the scriptwriter's fault or the directors fault that the movie, in parts were either expected, or not cohesive, or just plain bad. wasted my precious $10 and 2 hours of my time.

then in the evening, I'll get some lonesome dinner again and head back to camp at least 1 hour early to do some admin stuff. enjoying the quietness of the bunk which cannot be found at other times of the week.

I'm tired again. but still need to do some academic work for a projects handled to us.

oh ya, yesterday i spent the eveing with Melissa, knew her in secondary school while we were attending tuition at MarkYourFuture. Fond memories of the people there. Anywhere, we walked from PS to heerens after I said i had a sudden craving for Waraku's Katsu Curry Don. hmm, so we walked and talked. After placing our orders, we wait for the food and drinks to come. ok, this is where my embarrassment comes in. I ordered my usual drink.then i wondered why the waitress asked me if I wanted a single or double and why my usual drink took so long. it was only when the drink arrived that I realised a very silly mistake. in my mind, i had the image of my usual drink, a glass of hot O-cha (Japanese green tea), so i thought I ordered that. What was dished to me was hot Sake (Japanese rice wine). Yes, I said "hot Sake" to the waitress while thinking of green tea. it was a costly mistake, $27.80++ more to pay. haiz. but the rest of the evening turned out (slight disturbance by this two last two words) well.

here's a little song that i find very satisfying when listening to right now, after spending a whole day alone.

叶子 - 阿桑

叶子 是不会飞翔的翅膀翅膀
是落在天上的叶子天堂
原来应该不是妄想
只是我早已经遺忘
当初怎么开始飞翔

孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遺忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴

我一个人吃饭 旅行 (到处)走走停停也
一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飄到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你

and here's a piece of news about the singer.

　阿桑经纪人发公开信
　　称病重时仍在创作新歌
　　阿桑过世的消息让整个华语乐坛震惊，其经纪人汪一平昨日（７日）在网上发表公开信，回忆他以往和阿桑的记忆，称阿桑面对疾病十分坚强，病重时仍在创作，还在筹备出版第三张专辑。
　　昨日，经纪人汪一平表示，阿桑一直很勇敢，相信自己一定会好起来，化疗期间她还创作了《爱情美的样子》等两首新歌，没想到都已成为绝唱。“阿桑计划还要在她的新专辑里写更多的作品。每一次我在听这首歌的时候，都会流下眼泪。”
　　以一首《叶子》走红的台湾疗伤歌手阿桑近日因乳癌病逝，享年34岁。自两年前检查出有癌细胞后，阿桑便很少在公众面前露面。据媒体报道，2005年，阿桑曾带着她的第二张专辑《寂寞在唱歌》来到重庆做宣传，为人朴实、谦虚是她留给山城歌迷的印象。当年接触过阿桑的媒体记者和接待阿桑的工作人员现在回忆起这位歌手都是相同的一句话，“她人很好！”
实习编辑：小卉

Your Working Style

You are extremely dependable and have a complete, realistic, and practical respect for the facts. You absorb, remember, and use any number of facts and are careful about your accuracy. When you see that something needs to be done, you accept the responsibility, often beyond the call of duty. You like everything clearly stated.

Your private reactions, which seldom show in your face, are often vivid and intense. Even when dealing with a crisis you look calm and composed. Behind your outer calm you are viewing the situation from an intensely individual angle. When you are "on duty" and dealing with the world, however, your behavior is sound and sensible.

You are thorough, painstaking, systematic, hard-working, and careful with particulars and procedures. Your perseverance tends to stabilize everything with which you are connected. You do not enter into things impulsively, but once committed, you are very hard to distract or discourage.

You often choose careers where your talents for organization and accuracy are rewarded. Examples are accounting, civil engineering, law, production, construction, health careers, and office work. You often move into supervisory and management roles.

If you are in charge of something, your practical judgment and valuing of procedure makes you consistent and conservative, assembling the necessary facts to support your evaluations and decisions. You look for Solutions to present problems in your successes of the past. With time you become masters of even the smallest elements of your work, but don't give yourself any special credit for this knowledge.

You may encounter problems if you expect everyone to be as logical and analytical as you are. You then run the danger of inappropriately passing judgment on others or overriding less forceful people. A useful rule is to use your thinking to make your perceptions about inanimate objects or your own behavior, and to use your perception to understand others. If you use your senses to see what really matters to others, so that it becomes a fact to be respected, you may go to generous lengths to help.

Another problem may arise if your thinking remains undeveloped. You may retreat, becoming absorbed with your inner reactions to sense-impressions, with nothing of value being produced. You may also tend to be somewhat suspicious of imagination and intuition, and not take it seriously enough.

Something i got online, from a link from Lionel. this is the link.. I think it speaks quite well for me, hence, posting it up, do go try it out!!

YuJun

Let what comes in my way comes.

hi there people.

Time seems to be passing really fast and now it's time for me to do a long long road march, and end my life (read: finish the course, not commit sucide) as a recruit in my term of national service.

Coming to the end of the second course (after the Physical Training Package), BMT (basic military training) has been a less favourable yet more satisfying experience. There were more people around, more egos to feed and destroy, more attitudes, more differing socialised people to work with and last but not least, more activities done.

Some of our fellow recruits have to leave us, some have to recourse. Others, have been enrolled into one of the vocations available, some will attain medical skills, some learning how to control weapons of destruction (or should I say oppression), and some other skills, some other knowledge.

My vocation was announced today, Leaders.

Back then in PTP, I was really expecting and worked hard to be selected into one. Most of my PTP buddies knew about it and was very supportive about it. That feeling was great, and til today, it can be sensed that the same people still support my dream back then. Sincerely from me to you, PTP buddies, Thank you.

During the course of BMT, I interacted with more people. the 'class' of recruits blew up from 30 in each 'class' to the current strength of 59, with one chap being posted out already before it's over. bigger 'class', more bunks. more cliques and more politics. Yes, gaining popularity, impressing instructors, volunteering for 'special tasks', talking their way through and winning sympathy became so common if you just keep in tune to them. Suddenly, even everyone became so artificial and I, sadly, was influenced and turned myself plastic while doing the 'projects' assigned. It didn't feel good.

but i couldn't be myself. Given a task, I would become serious. Others who didn't understand me as well cannot tolerate the degree of seriousness while I fulfil my tasks. when I try to be true to myself, some showed dislike and complains in the grapevine so as I get news of their feelings.

'why so serious?' was the message they give me.

I can understand them but cannot bear to not see to eye their behaviour and attitude. Psychological theories suggest that I can change behaviour (yes I did) but I cannot change their attitudes. true. and I always wondered when will that lousy attitudes will bite them in their faces, whenever I have to raise my voice and yell at people.

after every time i shout at them, I felt moody. Why didn't i just hold my temper in a little and let them be? they are responsible for their own actions, not me! oh ya, i was the in charge for the task and if they get caught. there is a good chance that the whole platoon will get the punishment (another, but yet stronger form of behaviour conditioning).

Coming to this point, I feel my blood somewhat boiling again and at the same time, moody for all the times I shouted at my platoon mates. Need to exert more self control.

I always like to think, "A leader is only characterised not by his action but his men." So, should I swing my pendulum closer to doing tasks or closer to satisfying my men?

War cry, skit, being myself, making and maintaining friends, preventing backstabbing, watching out for the politics, thinking of how to console friends who either didn't do too well at A levels or couldn't stay with the commandos or worse, both and thinking about how to cope with the leaders responsibilities when I have the tendency to sound very harsh when doing tasks.

My seriousness might be a manifestation of my ego and I am creating a defensive mechanism to protect my ego while not being sure if it's that the case?

I'm very tired now. sorry for the bad English or the lack of flow in this post.

Mentally drained,
YuJun

hi there!

Here blogging to you is a chap that might have gained 3kgs or more due to a very sumptuous buffet dinner yesternight.

Well, yesternight turned out well, it can be seem that no one was not satisfied with the food and the service was good. Majority of our little "class" were there and all the "teachers" turned up to (even we addressed and converted them into our friends) make the day even more interesting. Interesting in sense that how our "class" dress for the occasion, who used the opportunity last evening to wayang to the instructors and who they really are, without the pressure of the "school" setting.

What happened in our room was that we entered the room, to our slight dismay, breathing the smell of the room, eating, chit chatting, eating, laughing as some people gotten "raped" by the rapist of the "class", photos taking and loads more of cam whoring (by guys!!).

Anyway, although yesterday that was a happy occasion, and we were all supposed to enjoy the evening, it didn't work out in that manner for me. Hmm, I asked myself why was I feeling so moody and not getting into the party mood, trying to find come intrapersonal connection.

my list of perhaps came to form something like this:

Perhaps because,

I am Fat (as suggested mainly by Zack and some others) and eating a buffet is not really suitable for fat people?

Perhaps because,

I still have to worry about both the POP performances, one is not up to standards yet, the other is not created yet.

Perhaps because,

I am not a party person, and find comfort in these gathering somewhere near to a wall and just doing things to myself, for myself.

Perhaps because,

I am tired from lack of sleep and been doing things for the whole day starting from 7am til 11pm.

Perhaps because,
Perhaps because,Perhaps because,
Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because,
Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because,
Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because,Perhaps because...

i CAN'T ENJOY THE COMPANY LAST NIGHT.

doing things in our little class of 60 people has made me a much dreaded character. Some people identify faults with what I do, others find faults. Some communicate with me about how they feel, others does it behind my back, allowing them to add some spices and elements of truth into it. Some like my ideas, helps and develop my ideas, while others take my ideas and turn it into their own.

All of these did not bothered me until I realised that I have been trying to do my part of the work seriously with much efforts, sometimes having to face the pressures from the top management and the bottom followers, but all of my credits will be shared with my middle management, when they were the most uncooperative crew.

Pressures keep stacking on me to do things around the organisation. But, I firmly believe and entrust myself to not allow these stressing factors and people to meet my threshold and causing myself to burnout. Nope, I will not land on the other side of the stress curve.

YuJun.

things are changing (Part2)

after sleeping at 4am and waking up at 1pm, I packed my bag for tonight and finally forced myself to take a seat here to continue to voice out my opinions about Change. The reason why i used the word 'forced' is because i need to go out to do some shopping, to replenish some basic items, but! but it's raining cats and dogs out there. Even the interface of Gmail got affected by the rain and my mails are supposedly wet and the tree i planted beside the mails is tortured by the wind. I don't suppose that many will get what i mean but good work Gmail, the idea is good.

now coming back to my observation to change,

NOTE: pls take some time to read the previous entry if you have not. Else you might get lost while continue reading. Or you will diminish the 4 hour long of blogging efforts I put in to come up with the previous entry, even if I multi-tasked with reading and sending mails and even checking out my facebook account during the 4 hour. yes, just scroll down to read it and scroll up later if you have done so.

Planning to use 10minutes or so to compose the rest of this entry. Not lazy but just that I'm faced with the scarcity of time.

Went to Drum practice yesterday slightly after lunchtime without the lunch. Greeted more prominently by the white mirror walls and black flooring for dance, I was actually hoping I could have saw more of the drummers inside the studio. Basically, poly exams period are here and friends can afford to go for concerts and play computer games, but not turn up for drum practice. Yes, it's the issue of priority again but then i guess i can attribute to the reasoning that Drum for my fellow drumming mates have changed too. It's heartwarming to know that Tony actually misses Ann and myself after we gotten our heads shaved and entered into a total institute, even though i still question how much in relative I'm being missed. NS or not, people will change to the changing environment, but i guess, this group has too much politics that a slight change that caused people to face unfamiliarity has escalated to cause the butterfly effect upon the smallest misunderstandings.

Is this what I, or even what we will like to see?

We all know that personal bias is always present but at the different situations that the degree of accepting the bias is different. In our group, each person is attributed with a differing degree of trust by the so-called supremacy. Then again we know roughly that who gets a higher degree and who gets less but at times we feel disadvantage when we try to do things that we would like to do in order to improve the group. Let's all use all our frustrations to turn the tables (literally) and hope to create a mess of things within our white walls and black floors. What good will that do? Communication patterns in our group has been historically and forcefully made in such a way that sitting down to talk or mass sending of mails does not yield much results. Tell me what other lexis (mode of delivery) can we engage in? the grapevine or symbols? All of us need to talk, talk like we have never talk before! Many attempts have been made for this kind of talks, we know it and experienced it. not surprisingly, the yield is much known too. At this point, I am picturing an image of everyone one day getting so vented up (while still continuing to engage in the conversation) that we get on our individual feet to pull some punches or open our mouths to spew some form of low-level of verbal abuse. Well, at least the energy will be there.

Up to this point, I would like to highlight that there is no absolute solution to what we have gotten ourselves into but more than nothing I would like to see change, improvements.

Having heard from the different point of views, no matter how pure or distorted the messaged i received, I see a common goal but not the same means of achieving it. We want a higher artistic value in our form of Art, but each parties insisting on using their methods to do it and with a different purpose behind the common goal. Suggesting that the parties open up and share their methods openly is nearly impossible to achieve because we are not even sure on how and what we are going to do in order to get to what we want. We might or might not have our plans, but at the end of the day, (quoting from some movie) what will happen is that the plan is not going to stick to plan.

When you have gotten sick of being either of the 4 characters of Change, then you turn yourself into the leader of the 4, become the Agent of Change. Affect the change, not be affected by it.

But let our group survive in these times of bad economy and bad situations with the strongest bonds we formed all these years going through shit and puberty.

Coming past the 40minutes mark, need to head down somewhere to buy my underwear and get dinner.

till next book out.

YuJun

things are changing (Part1)

starting with the title, my mood now is kind of dead and pretty much demoralised with things happening. or changing.

As according to the ancient folklore deeply engraved on the rock-like surface of my brain matter since Intro to Marketing class, it goes like "the only Unchange is Change." Coming to the topic of Change, some people embrace it, some try to reject it, while others deny it and try to ignore it.

In different situations, we all fall into one of, or both of, or seldom all of, the 3 different Change characters; Embracers, Resisters and Aloofs. Embracers take ups what change that comes in their way, adapts fast to it and live life with change. It's not easy but they put it off still. Resisters, as the name suggest do not like change for the fear that change will weaken them or allow them to face unfamiliarity. Aloofs people tries very hard to not pay attention to the changes around them. What is complicated about the Aloofs is that they can be aloof in the Embracers way or the opposite; living the the changes but making minimal efforts to change themselves and Resisters direction is to pay minimal attention to the change and pretend that nothing has change. So all in all, there's 4 different kinds of Change characters.

After the lengthy portion about Change and Change characters, now is the main dish of this entry, also the main motivation for me to sit hours before my laptop in the middle of the night, so as to get some undisturbed blogging time.

Went to a bar at Clark Quay yesterday with PTP buddies. The time spent there did not live up to expectations. The bar was kinda small, something we didn't expect and we made reservations for ten people and those who bothered to show face numbered off to five in the bar. So the first drink came, followed by the finger food and concluded by a second drink. We waited for others to turn up with the concurrent activity of consuming the food and drinks took roughly 2 hours. The wait was boring but what made the evening a real irritant is that we had smokers who popped out to the 'fresh air' outside to take a puff, snoozing their nicotine alarm (you can almost hear the 'ni-coo-tine~','ni-coo-tine~' sound). This broke the small group into smaller groups that did not appreciate the small small group interaction. With agreement, those who was left to freeze to dead with boredom inside the bar settled the bill and headed out to the 'fresh air' area to settle the cash payment to me. Busy with calculations, I thought I would be able to skip or at least selectively block out the disgusting images of my PTP buddies smoking.

Those who have long ago declared themselves to be smokers, although still much disgusted, fared much better when I saw them smoked. What terrified me was Dennis smoking. Didn't knew about his past as a smoker and when he snubbed the cigarette butt that some other guy has passed to him, i unconsciously turned my head back and took a snapshot of the filthy poisonous gas gusting out of his nostrils. I can still see it in my mind. I am promised of this image whenever I see his face and the word 'Dennis'. Yes, personally I feel that I am very much aware of my over-reaction to people smoking but I can't help but to widen my scope to observe the other smokers around. The other bar just beside, the Irish pub just opposite the narrow two lane street, the group standing just outside 7-11 and many many others, suddenly the presence of smokers became so prominent to me that at the back of my brain, I ransacked sociological ideas, marketing explanations and bio psychological and psychological reasoning to reassure myself that what is happening is not a result of them wanting to harm their body but under many many other factors. But I failed. and the normal chants came out of my thought. Let's just hope the drug or drugs (considering how many types of different chemicals there is inside just one stick of cigarettes) carefully packed into the boxes will kill their consumers.

People I mix with are changing. Suddenly, last night i found myself in the company of loads of smokers. Mental note to self to not go drinking with smokers again. or maybe not go to bars and pubs. I shall be a Resister in this scenario, I want to stay true to myself.

Now think, if you were me,
in a situation similar to mine,
in a situation different from mine,
in a situation closely similar to mine,
in a situation vastly different from mine,
what character will you become?

Will you change (or not change) for the better?

--to be continued, this post is taking up most of my sleep time, shall continue tomorrow, part 2:Drum Changes--

some free time.

hello people!

have not touched my blog for ages.. today is special because go off day..

hance the extra time to switch on my computer and even blog for you to read..

Time passed really fast and 1 month has passed like that.. Among those who have seen me recently have commented that i look more tan and slimmed down. well, at least all the training paid off.

it is fun i guess, breaking away from the daily routine of going to school and studying. Change of a lifestyle and interacting with more people means something to me.

Haha.. so fast run out of time le.. til next time.. or just call me out for a meal!! hah

YuJun

Happy (working) holidays!

Another 12.5 more hours and this semseter will be over.

Watching (or should i say listening) to the last online lecture for the last paper. Woohoo.

Then after 1200hrs tomorrow, it'll be a busy week le.

Saturday(tomorrow):

• 1000hrs-1200hrs :Management Information System Final Exams (which i am not interested in, not prepared and not good at). All the best to me.
• 1230hrs-1500hrs : Drum Practice
• 1700hrs-2130hrs : Part-time Work (Anthropology.)
• 2130hrs- late: KTV somewhere in Town with Janice, Zenna,Doris, Jay, Dannis, two friends of the Doris, Jay and Dannis. Perhaps Tony will come too. Tony please come, i think you'll like Jay and Dannis. haha.

Sunday:

• Morning. Start shopping for CNY? on the account that being in NS won't give me much time to shop for CNY clothes? Or just window shopping ba. haaahahaaaa.
• Afternoon to Late evening. Part-Time Work

Monday:

• Morning. Shopping again. Apart from CNY shopping, still have to get ready for NS, need to get some items, like Ziplock bags, underwear (yes, i'm serious, it's stated on the letter they sent me , under ' you may also bring... "extra underwear"'), a cheap digital watch, etc. Haha, let's hope i can get what i'll need.
• Afternoon to Late evening. Part-time work again.

Tuesday:

• Morning. Nothing planned. Probably going to spend time alone after being so tired of trying to please all the people around involunteerily. Away from crowds and find true self. Crap.
• Afternoon to late evening. Part-time work.

Wednesday:

• Morning. Tie up the loose ends with society i guess. (since NS can be classified as a Total Institution, reminded of Sociology Finals question on Socialization)
• Afternoon. I'm free :]
• Evening. Piano Lesson at 5pm and Dinner with Sean, Sean (yes two seans, not typo), Vincent and Chen Chen for dinner. Somewhat like a Farewell dinner. Haha, good and friendly teammates.

Thrsday:

• Morning. Part-time Work
• Late Afternoon. Rest and Final Preparation for NS (e.g. stare at ceiling and think. LOL)

Friday:

• 0800hrs: Report at the Camp.
• Rest of the day: Well... who knows :]

Well, that's my most accurate schedule to this point of time.

It feels kinda of heart warming that people find time to have dinner with you before you Go into NS. but then you also see that some people don't try hard enough, "oh, you are not free that time ar, see how lor". see how lor followed by not hearing from them anymore. oh well, at least they tried and with my tight and inconvenient schedule, I can't really blame them i guess. well, you can say that i'm guessing real hard.

Studying hard so I can sing without guilt tomorrow. jaja.

Byebye

YuJun aka ONg LAi

army days.

yes people.

as expected, i've not been successful in getting a silver grade for my NAPFA test.

Hence, i'll be enlisting on 12th Dec 2008, one month extra for PTP (Physical Training Program) and will be released 1 month later!!

Well, i have thought over it. It's actually ok for me to go in early.

why?

• it's only a matter of time when you go in. yes, it means freedom for 2 months, but what's the good of the 2 free months when actually sleep and eat and sleep and eat? if that's not your life, it's somewhat like mine, especially during holidays.
• then i get 2 months pay!! more than that i'm getting now working in anthropology. but it's more relaxed and the hours are lesser . yes i know, but let what must come, come!
• and going to re-take my NAPFA over and over again is demoralizing. wasting Wednesday mornings and disgracing myself there for 3 times, i had enough.
• it's a sign that i need proper physical training. from who, the best gym in the country of course.
• and with the lengthen BMT period, i just heard from the instructor at TPY stadium, means a less packed schedule.

all in all, i'm going in early.

put it in the harsh words, i'm one who gives up, a failure but on the optimistic point of view, i'm evaluating my options. (great thinking man) yes, i can almost hear you saying that.

got to go sleep or do more work.

Night pple!

YuJun